A bit of rant - everything!

[Nanaki]

Hello all, first thing to say, wish you all merry xmas and happy new year from me and Billy- my lil man!

I need to get this out of my chest before I go explode! PLEASE do aware my english/explaination may not be clear, if you dont understand, dont feel bad to ask.

Right, my son's fontanelle got a lump - possibly called Haemongioma (birthmark) as it started to show up when he was around 6 weeks old. I got him to the hospital at the beginning of December after not satisafied with the GP, and my son had an ultrasound scan to check everything was ok, and was told nothing to worry about as it is nothing serious and tells me that if the lump is getting bigger or change shape or change colour or whatever, get him back to the hospital.

Now it buggers me, my OH's mum - my mum in law - is still worried and concerning about that lump, and is very much annoying that my Oh listens to her and my oh demand me to get my son an appointment to see a doctor in January after his mum suggested that she rings Birmingham Childrens Hospital as she can explain what it looks like to them and she already did after I told my husband if she want to do this thats fine and I dont want to go thru over again by gettin him back to the hospital etc and she wants me to get doctor to do a referral to Birmingham childrens hospital where they have a special unit for birthmark. I feel that the mum in law treats my son as if it is her son something like that. and my oh said his Dad will help me out if my son is being referring to Birmingham Childrens Hospital.

I was told that it is nothing to worry about now they made it worse! Oh I wish they haven't done that to bug me and worrying me ever more but my son is fine!

And other thing - my husband had told me that he will try to get my son to bring him over to bham where his parents live so they can see his growing because my dad always come up to my house every 2/3 weeks depends on his work to see him as its his first grandson and he loves him!! Make me feel that my OH get what he wants not me, because his parents already got granddaughter. My Oh dont like my dad to see my son more often, I told him tough shit also told him I can continue to use webcam to let his parents see Billy more often as I can, but he wont have it!

I dont know what to do - as I cant stand up to them and said to them to shut up and I do my way if nothing serious for my boy.

 

[Nanaki]

anyone? I know ppl been viewed this thread. No reply etc...

 

[lillysmum]

thats pants, but unfortunately its what mother in laws do. hugs to you, as long as you are happy with him thats the main thing, if your husband is still worried let him take your sin to be checked over, maybe just explain to him that you are reassured but you're happy to support him if he needs extra reassurance as a compromise?

 

[Nanaki]

Yeah, i was told twice by gp and docs at hospital to say nothing to worry about. Just that his mum is sort of inferring i think.

 

[polaris]

It sounds like a stressful situation, in the end of the day you are the baby's mummy and it is so frustrating when you have already had the birthmark checked out to have to go through it all over again, causing you more stress no doubt. At least the birthmark is nothing serious though.

My MIL can be quite critical too, I don't know if she means to do it or if she just says whatever comes into her head without thinking, I know what you mean about acting like it is her son, it is very difficult to establish clear boundaries for in-laws.

Maybe have a chat with your OH about how the situation is effecting you? I know it is his parents so he might not see things the same way as you. But it sounds like it's causing you a lot of stress.

 

[elly75]

I know with my mum, she saw rashes on my little guy (eczema) and thought it should be checked out at the hospital as previously it was just on his face. Hubby and I thought it was the eczema but she wouldn't listen and took us over to the ER. Five hours (and a cranky baby who was incredibly overtired) later, doc confirmed what we thought.

To say the least, little guy, hubby and I were all shattered by lack of sleep over something that we thought was trivial.

 

[Nanaki]

Thanks ladies, it does help me a little, knowing that I am in similar situation as you girls. My gut and feeling towards that lump wasn't that serious, it dont send me into an alarmly panic. As my son now got two birthmarks already, one on his neck hiding by hair and one on his right shoulder, now plus one on his head. I had a word with my hubby other day but he dont see thru it and he usually defends his Mum and listen to what she said but she dont have ANY birthmarks on her nor her 3 kids (a twin sons and a daughter), so she dont been thru a thing like it! As if she knows everything because she had a twin and a daughter and also my hubby thinks he knows everything as he got a baby sister which I hate to be told what to do, I dont have a child before now i got a son and things are still new to me but feeling that it is not all new to my hubby.

 

[peakydon]

I'm with lillysmum on this one. Get OH and MIL to take your son to the doctors if they are so worried. Then they'll hear it straight from the doctors mouth and they'll stop bothering you so much. If they were so worried in the first place maybes they should have gone to the original appointments with you! It must make you feel so inferior that they don't listen to what you are telling them Grrrrrrrrrr. Hope you can get this sorted out. x