A bit of therapy needed....I'm done, over and out.

[Hope13]

Well, after countless months trying to conceive with pcos and other various issues (turnin 38 last week), I have faced the inevitable this morning and am bowing out ttc with grace. I mentally cannot take anymore negative months of AF arriving aand the mental torture this gives me very month. The whole issue of ttc is on my mind every waking hour. The hurt, disappointment and emptiness this makes me feel, has wiped me out. I feel a failure to my husband (all I want to do is give him a baby and that will never happen now). I feel empty, a failure and a let down to him. Why me, I ask myself and then I log on here and realise this is happening to lots of other ladies too. It is so unfair. We all deserve it so much. Today has been one of the hardest days ever. I have felt so down and low and I am so emotional. My fs has discharged me, due to NHS funding and criteria and has told me if I choose to go down the IVF route, go back to my GP. I had to tell him it was over for me as that is just not a financial option. So what now.....I just don't know where to go from here...apart from consuming a large bottle of red I have opened to drown my sorrows. I have back ache, spotty skin, achey hips and irritability, all the signs that AF will appear and oh, they will. I get these symptoms every month, 6 or 7 days prior to AF. That is the bit that is so unfair, I get plenty of warning of a bfn. After a last month trying with a concepti-moon and a stress free week off work, yet again failure.

I'm sorry for the negativity, I just am at the end of my tether with it all. I cannot remain positive, cannot see any baby and feel I have to accept I cannot give my husband the one thing he so deserves and I so want to give him.

Good luck to all you ladies out there, I wont be posting again, there is no point...I wont be logging on again the way I feel at the moment.

Thank you for reading, I truly wish you all the best.xxx

 

[Wallie]

I'm so sorry it has come to this for you. I fear I may not be long behind you

 

[a1b2c3]

Just wanted to send you hugs. I wish I could say something to make you feel better but I don't think I can. All I will say is just remember you are not alone in your quest and that there will always be someone here to talk. Wishing you all the best in whatever you de side. X

 

[star31]

I wanted to tell you a story... I've been ttc for a long time now too and at work today the other day one of my colleagues came to talk to me. During the conversation she pointed to her stomach at one point and I noticed a bump! Immediately I said 'congratulations' and she told me she had all but given up hope of ever becoming a mum, but she conceived naturally at the start of this year. It turns out she is 41. Never give up x