A Little Help Please

[BrokenfoREVer]

I'm sorry if this is in the wrong section.

Right, some of you know the trouble I have with FOB, both while pregnant & after Josh arrived.

Well, FOB saw Josh in the hospital & a couple of times when we came home. We had an argument & he didn't see Josh for a couple of weeks.

About 3 weeks ago I got back in touch & he started seeing Josh again. All was going well I though.

Now it seems he thinks I'm taking his parental rights away & is demanding over night access (this is because I told him I'm busy on saturday & that he couldn't see Josh, not unreasonable imo)

I've said no, 1 cos Josh is too young to be away from me at night, & there is no way I'm staying there too. & 2 cause I don't trust FOB & family to follow Josh's routine. & 3 cause they all smoke & I don't trust them not to smoke around Josh & 4 there is no where for him to actually sleep with someone in the same room as him (which he is used to)

I don't think any of those points are unreasonable. But FOB seems to think so. Now he's talking about going to court to get his own way. I jsut wondered if anyone had any experiance of this & could give me any advice?

Thanks

 

[dustbunny]

They wouldn't give outnight access to a father if the LO is only 2 months old... and I think it is rather stupid and a tad out of order the FOB expecting this. If he has been in and out of LO life due to arguments etc then he still doesn't have the comfortable bond with your LO... as in your LO might not feel safe being with... in essence... a stranger in a strange environment.
I would suggest that maybe you establish set days and times that FOB can see his LO. Say every other weekend for a few hours to begin with and build up from there. The FOB can not expect you to drop everything with only a couple days notice. That way you know when FOB has to turn up, if he doesn't then that is his problem.

Hope that helps

 

[judge12]

Fob should wait till baby is a bit older so I do not think you are in the wrong.

 

[Crumbsx]

Your not in the wrong, at all.
Your not taking FOBs parental rights away at all, your still saying he can see Josh.
Your points make sence, because like dustbunny said - in essence FOB is a stranger to Josh with a strange house.
It's ridicoulous that he's thinking it's a reasonable request, because the beat interests of Josh should come first. And that's not the best for him.
ignore him, it's probably just empty threats xx

 

[BadassMom]

It's ridicoulous that he's thinking it's a reasonable request, because the beat interests of Josh should come first. And that's not the best for him.

I think most men have a hard time putting other's needs before their own....

 

[Crumbsx]

I agree badassmum I don't see why though, when it's your own child I think it's natural to automatically put their needs first. Then again maybe that's because I'm a women and women are maternal?