A little unsure due to involving others?

[SmartieMeUp]

Probably a similar thread somewhere but I'm too lazy to look

With DD1 I knew I didn't want to BF due to personal reasons of feeling "exposed" to my baby so to speak, I always seen breasts over sexualised. But when she was born, she wasn't feeding at all with FF nor did she latch after having no choice to try and within 24 hours she had an intake of only 6ml. Luckily she took well to a bottle.

This time round I *think* I want to BF as I'm 60/40 right now with the idea. It doesn't help with the media frowning upon it all either but after all it's the most natural thing for a mother to do. And no shame should be shown, but there are some pros and cons as with everything in life. I was having a little peek at the BF album and it's lovely to see you all so open with it.

It wasn't until DD mentioned about 'going to the shop with daddy to get some milk for a bottle for baby' that makes me wonder if it will be the right option. How else can you involve others with feeding times? I don't want to leave OH and DD to preparation (nappy change before feeding) as it isn't the same as feeding bonds. Plus DD is rather independent and wants to help as much as she can.

 

[noon_child]

Skin to skin and cuddling can be done with other family members, not just you, and talking to LO, baby massage and carrying LO in a sling can all be used to bond.

 

[Quartz]

try it see how you feel. If you dont like it stop, if you want to involve DD and OH then combi feed or express (if you can).

DD used to cuddle beside me when I fed DS (I had a free arm to snuggle her) so we all cuddled together.

And ignore the media (its mainly the Daily Mail I suspect) I have never felt awkward breast feeding

 

[SmartieMeUp]

As I'm due in the Summer I'll more than likely go for a sling (too chilly for DD1 as she was born in Oct), which OH would be able to carry LO.

I will definitely try it, without a doubt at least then I can say I tried. It's nice to see I've not been judged for what people originally think is an ignorant opinion. I've been advised that combi feeding isn't the best solution by MW as it can confuse the baby's suckling switching "teats"? If I knew it'd work then I would give that a go just so DD could feel like she is taking some grown up responsibilities.

Yeah DM is one of the biggies. Nigel Farage has some big thoughts on it too. I won't allow myself and my child to be disrespected but at the same time, I wouldn't disrespect the public either.

 

[Quartz]

to be honest unless you actually know or actively look breastfeeding can often look the same as hugging a child close to your chest. I prefer layers a vest under a t shirt so one layer goes up and one layer down so literally just the nipple is out which is then covered by the babies head.

When DS was older I used to feed outside in the sling and at times not even OH knew I was actively breastfeeding at that point in time

DM and Nigel Farage are ironically at the opposite end of their self perceived nemisis of the breast feeding mafia and I dont think represent the public at all. I dont feel anyone has ever felt disrespected when I fed in public

 

[supertabby]

There are idiots in this world who have an issue with breastfeeding but they're few and far between, I think the media just makes it sound worse than it is.

I've never had a negative comment or dirty looks etc. I've twice had a stranger comment on me feeding - both old ladies and both saying it was lovely to see and you don't see enough mums bf these days. Most of the time people can't even tell you're feeding, if you opt for the "pull top up, vest down " style then it usually just looks like you're cradling your baby. One of my friends who saw me regularly from 1 week pp asked me when DS was about 2 months old if I was bf or ff - I must've bf in his presence dozens of times but he hadn't noticed!

 

[apple_20]

My OH bonds by cuddling her, wearing her in the sling (in the house in the eve to keep her calm and get her to sleep) she will also sleep in his chest sometimes.

I expressed with DS so anyone could feed her but it was still 95% of the time me doing the feeding anyway. Expressing was useful for going out and leaving baby with grandparents but it was a faff. Can't find the time to do it with a toddler

Good luck with what ever you choose I'd say keep an open mind to all and if bf doesn't work for you don't beat yourself up!

 

[Perplexed]

I bf DD for the first 4 months of life then had to stop (maybe we could have just gotten on with it now that I think of it, but I dunno). DH has never been involved in feeding in the first 4 months and it felt like DD was permanently attached to my boob. I didn't express or offer bottles. But I wanted to let you know that DH and DD have other ways of bonding. He plays with her all the time and tucks her in every night. In my opinion no one has to really be involved with feeding the baby if you plan to only breastfeed and not express (some people don't like expressing/find it to be a hassle/find they don't have time for it), there many other ways of being involved. Your DH/DD can bring you things you need. DD can hand you the burp cloth or baby's toy and help with giving baths etc. It still works out.

If you find expressing easy or are willing to do it, then your DH and DD can help by bottle feeding baby.

I wasn't comfortable bf'ing on the go as I had to use nipple shields and it was hard to even try. But I did bf in public at times and between people. It's very easy to do it in a way that doesn't expose your body if you aren't comfortable with it. I personally don't like my breasts out in the open so I found ways to be covered while doing it.

For this new baby I am planning to express from early on and build a freezer stash. But I really love feeding directly from the breast in the evening, nights and early morning. It really soothed my LO and I partially believe she slept well due to it.

And I can only echo what others said: it can't hurt to try and if you don't like it you can always formula feed instead. Easier to try the breast and switch to formula than start with formula and then switch to the breast, not impossible from what I understand but not easy.

 

[DJMooMoo79]

Well you can always do breastfeeding and formula, thats what hubby and I did for a while there. Or you can pump and still breastfeed, just through a bottle.
I understand the weird exposed feeling you mentioned. I really didnt want to breastfeed at first because of it because it felt weird having the idea of my daughter sucking on my tit. After she was born though and we tried, my whole perspective on my body changed. It now suddenly feels like the most natural thing to me. I dont even consider my breasts, breast anymore. There just milk bags attached to my body lmao. One of hubbys friends walked in on my breast feeding by accident and could not stop apologizing. And normally would be horrified, instead I just waved it off as if it was nothing. Because it was. Granted, I still wont whip my boob out in public, not even with a nursing cover, so formula is always packed in the diaper bag just incase she gets hungry in public.

Good luck breastfeeding! Do whatever makes you feel comfortable, dont let the media tell you whats acceptable or not. Because a comfortable momma makes a comfortable baby. If baby senses your rigid and anxious energy during breastfeeding, I can guarantee they will refuse the boob anyway.

 

[Maxy1]

I agree with PP that you should plan for both and make your mind up after you have given it a go. As has already been said, when I am BFing I really don't view my breasts as sexual objects. There are ways of feeding in public without being all up in peoples faces, and tbh I have never seen any mums trying to be overt with it, so I don't know the same people the media seem to feature

Combi feeding is an option and can be really handy for going out etc. Babies will develop a preference no matter what you do and the main reason that babies like the bottle is because it is just easier, there is no work and especially when they are little they still get lots of cuddles. I combi fed my first for the first 8 - 10 weeks because of health reasons and he still became a major booby monster and full on rejected the bottle once I had got better enough to eBF. You should try wait a couple weeks if you can so that your milk has come in properly and it can self adjust from there.

At the end of the day 'happy mum = happy baby' so go with what is best for you and your family. Feeding is only one way of bonding with baby. I BF both my babes and DH is bonded with them

 

[AK89]

I can't recommend BF enough.. and not even in a preachy, it's-the-best-thing-for-em kinda way! Although obviously the health benefits are an important factor.. I just love it! Once you get the hang of it (and your nipples toughen up a bit!) it's the most amazing thing in the world and it's so easy! I'm BF right now. If I was bottle feeding I wouldn't be on here, I'd have both hands full and I'd nearly be dropping off with boredom (night feed). And I'd have had to get up and faff about with bottles/formula.. All I had to do was go get my LO when she cried and bring her into bed with me and basically cuddle her for a bit!

It obviously has its downfalls, namely the rough patch you may go through at the beginning. All that happened with us was my nipples were a bit sore (but nothing to write home about, and Lansinoh nipple cream worked wonders) and I was a bit tired with cluster feeding in the evenings (where they just want to constantly feed to build up your supply) and doing all the night feeds. BUT you soon get used to the cluster feeding - I don't mind it at all now (she doesn't really do it as much but still a bit), I just set myself up with my nursing pillow (a MUST! Makes it so much comfier and only about a tenner) and a few snacks and a drink and I'm good! It means everyone has to do everything for you too hehe.. and as far as the night feeds go, don't most mums do most night feeds anyway when their partners go back to work..? I know I would so it's only the first couple of weeks that would be any different, and after that, like I said, BF is so much easier!

I invested in a decent secondhand dual electric pump for £30 off eBay and replaced all the parts for about a tenner. At about 2 weeks pp I started pumping once a day, about an hour after her first morning feed. I didn't start feeding her this until about 3-4 weeks 'cause I didn't want her to prefer drinking from the bottle (although I don't think there was much danger of this as my DD loves BF ) but I started to save up so my OH could feed her from time to time. This had been so handy 'cause it's meant I've been able to go out and leave baby with OH and I've been able to have a drink too! Also using a bottle is just a bit easier in public sometimes, especially in the first few weeks when you're just finding your feet, although to be honest I never do that anymore.. I save my milk for when I need to leave her/want to have a drink!

In terms of feeding in public, I bought a nursing cover off the Internet. It's really good, it goes on over your head like an apron and just hangs down in front of you so baby/boobs are all covered up! I don't think I'd really feel comfortable feeding in public without it.. I'm sure I'd get used to it but there's no point for me really! It was only about £7 here..
https://www.daisybabyshop.co.uk/breastfeeding-cover/
It's also handy for when people come round and you have to feed 'cause I definitely wouldn't be comfortable whipping my boobs out in front of my dad or my boyfriend's mates!

One last advantage, in case you need it, is that the weight just drops off you in the first few weeks! I've still got a long way to go now (mainly because I ate about 10 cookies a day for the last 3 months of pregnancy haha..) but I did get a lot of compliments in the first few weeks and I did slim down a lot quicker than I thought I would.

So yeah... do it basically!! Or at least give it a try obviously haha.. I'm so glad I persevered with it. Now I can't imagine ever stopping!

 

[noon_child]

. and as far as the night feeds go, don't most mums do most night feeds anyway when their partners go back to work..? I know I would so it's only the first couple of weeks that would be any different, and after that, like I said, BF is so much easier!

I agree. My OH never hear LO stirring or waking. I'd have to shake him awake and he was so slow to respond that by the time he'd warmed the expressed milk and brought the bottle back upstairs I'd had to get LO out of her basket and comfort her anyway. I was so awake at that point I might as well have breastfed her. It would have been easier! So I gave up on asking for him to do any night feeds.

 

[AK89]

. and as far as the night feeds go, don't most mums do most night feeds anyway when their partners go back to work..? I know I would so it's only the first couple of weeks that would be any different, and after that, like I said, BF is so much easier!

I agree. My OH never hear LO stirring or waking. I'd have to shake him awake and he was so slow to respond that by the time he'd warmed the expressed milk and brought the bottle back upstairs I'd had to get LO out of her basket and comfort her anyway. I was so awake at that point I might as well have breastfed her. It would have been easier! So I gave up on asking for him to do any night feeds.

Yeah it's crazy isn't it! My OH was dead good for the first few nights.. He had the moses basket on his side so he could pass her over to me as I was in a lot of pain and he woke up at the slightest stir. But now he sleeps the whole night through, right through her cries, me changing her with the light on...everything! He had to do her night feeds once cos I'd had a drink and I was so awake during them while he was warming it etc that I wished I could just feed her!

 

[misspriss]

Just remember, you can always BF (and combi if you want, although it can be hard to quit if you want to full time BF), then change your mind and FF later.

It's pretty hard (almost impossible) to FF first, then switch to BF later.

I don't think breastfeeding disrespects the public? Maybe that's a UK attitude? It's protected by law here and I've never even gotten so much as a sideways glance BF'ing in public, tons of support. I even BF in church regularly, in fact the Pope has spoken out and welcome breastfeeding in Catholic churches. If the Pope welcomes it in CHURCH, how could it be disrespecting the public?

 

[Rhapsodi]

So I totally didn't listen to the whole nipple confusion thing. I had to have surgery when LO was 3 was old so I knew bottles would be important.
At 5do he had his first bottle. By 2wks old he was using a pacifier. We have had NO nipple confusion! We have had 0 issues. However, he was a BF pro before we left the hospital (he was just 36hrs old or so). We also use nipples that are similar to breast feeding (I love kiinde bottles).

He has never had formula. DH, my big boys, and other family members can feed him too. I love it! We also have to give him Zantac due to reflux the only way we can get it in him is through a bottle. So he has 2 bottles a day and I BF the rest.

You can BF and bottle feed and not have to wait weeks!

 

[MrsKChicago]

Even if you end up loving breastfeeding, it's a good idea to get baby used to the occasional bottle, if you don't want to be tied to him forever. There will come a time when you want to leave baby with a sitter and go out, and you'll need to leave a bottle. I don't know exactly what the time frame is, but I've heard that the best plan is to breastfeed exclusively for X number of weeks, and then start introducing bottles at a certain point. You can express breastmilk or mix in formula.

My SIL exclusively pumped for a year (nephew was a preemie and just wouldn't latch), and she and my brother do think there was a lot of bonding benefit to him being able to feed the baby, but it's not like it's the only way to bond. A good cuddle will do wonders

 

[smoore]

I will have to be pumping as quickly as possible and get baby used to a bottle somewhat. I will be going back to work when baby is somewhere around 8 weeks old (depending on when baby comes - go back to work mid Aug, baby is due mid June). At that point, she will be with my mom(or husband on his off day) while I work mon-fri. So, there will have to be a reserve and she will have to be used to a bottle. People make it work! I have a friend that has does it twice now. Do what is best for you!