A positive post for bnb'ers

[Talia12]

I'm not here to write anything groundbreaking, I just wanted to say some things that we all rationally know but easily forget, and should keep in mind while on the forum...
Obviously the vast majority of worried posts here in first tri are about miscarriage, we're all scared of it! And we might know roughly what the probabilities are depending on what stage we're all at, but it's so easy on a forum like this to have the risks hugely played up in our minds.

The other day I was reading my daily digest by email from another forum (what to expect). Someone was asking what the risks of mc are after seeing a hb. Seven women replied to say they had had one. Seven!! And no one replied to say they hadn't. By of course...no one would!! I looked, and there were over 700 people viewing the forum. So even if the risk is about 1% (which it probably isn't far off that), you're going to get 7 poor women who have been through it. And we see those replies, and panic!! Like, omg a whole bunch of women have been through this! Forgetting about the other 693 women... who potentially read it and didn't reply at all, because they hadn't been through it. And you can't just reply to say "yeah, that never happened to me".

At the time I'm writing this, there are 1095 of us viewing the first tri forum alone. I just wanted to share my epiphany-that-we-all-already-know-but-need-to-remind-ourselves.

 

[xdxxtx]

Thank you so much for this post! This is always on my mind. When we're on forums, we get a very skewed view of pregnancy. We see the worst, a lot. So few people come on just to report that everything is perfect. In the end, even one of those, "Bye, guys! I'm off to second tri!" posts are very soothing for many of us because they're some of the most positive messages on the first tri board. I have always posted a positive during the first trimester of each of my pregnancies because I want to spread hope to those who are new and scared. The vast majority of pregnancies go off without a hitch. The vast majority of pregnancies end with the parent(s) holding a healthy, happy, beautiful baby.

 

[stellababy]

I found this forum when I first had a miscarriage and wanted support, and didn't have anyone to talk to about it. Then, I discovered other sections and kept posting on and off for years as I had my pregnancies.
I think a lot of people seek out these forums when they have an issue or a problem.
I love seeing success stories, and always try to post positive outcomes when I see a situation that I have been through myself.
Thank you for this post! We all should choose positivity and remember to comment with our milestones and successes )

 

[lilmisscaviar]

I admit that I mostly post on here when I have a question about something that is worrying me. I do agree that a lot more of the ladies on here should be posting about milestones and not just about miscarriage worries. Having suffered pregnancy losses myself, that is one thing that is always at the back of my mind, but that is where I try to keep it.

 

[Talia12]

Definitely I also only usually start threads when I have a worry, I think that's normal, as those are the times when we need support. Definitely good for us all to keep in mind that (a) there's not much need to post if everything's going swimmingly, so that's underrepresented, and (b) the huge number of women on this board means that even very, very unlikely events are going to turn up some replies.

 

[britgirl82]

Thank you for posting this - I wish someone had written something like this when I was pregnant with my first (am now on #4)!

These boards screw with our perception of what's normal. The vast majority of pregnancies result in healthy, full-term babies, but people don't post about these pregnancies! Once you've missed your period, the odds are hugely in your favour.