A Question of Manners Around Xmas Presents

[Sarahkka]

This is an etiquette question: what do you do if someone (particularly relatives) wants to give your LO something that you don't want? For example, what if you are opposed to war toys and Grandpa wants to give your son a GI Joe set or a toy gun? How would you deal with that?
What if you really want to limit plastic or electronic toys and your MIL thinks they are the bee's knees?
I'm not quite in this situation, but I can see it as a possibility off in the future.
Is it okay to say something or do you just shut up, accept the gift graciously, and grit your teeth while LO plays with it?

 

[Vickie]

hmmm I haven't come upon this so I'm not really sure what I would do. I doubt I'd say anything though as that's not really my way. I might say thanks and put it away or give it to charity (done that with a few things I've been given )

 

[Blah11]

I would say thank you, and accept the gift and put it away Id give it away eventually.

 

[Sarahkka]

I thought about that, but what if they (the gift-giver) asks about it?
Soooo awkward!
Like I said, I haven't really dealt with this, but I can definitely see it coming. I keep thinking that maybe I should be really vocal about my philosophies on toys? But that could get obnoxious pretty quickly, too.
sigh.
I think it probably is best to go the gracious route.
It is the thought that counts.

 

[tasha41]

I'd probably make conversation about toys with the people likely to give gifts if I had strong beliefs or preferences around things before gift-giving season (Christmas, birthday, whatever) popped up. If I still got things we wouldn't be using, like Blah, I would put it away. I'd give it to someone else who could use it. Or, maybe I'm bad lol, but I'd take it back (a lot of stores don't need receipts for exchanges) and pick something out I'm more comfortable with.

 

[Vickie]

Luckily Stan's family isn't around enough to know whether or not I've kept some of the things that they've given us I usually do take at least one picture of her with the item and than dispose of it

 

[Ell87]

It's like when people give my eldest a toy that has super small parts which make it a nightmare for me to have around cos I've got younger children... I'd let him play with it for a while then sneak it into hiding for when he's on his own or just put it in the bin/give it away

I'm not one to stand up for myself often though so would probably just let them buy whatever they wanted and decide what to do with it afterwards.

 

[DizzyMoo]

If i'm aware of it before the toy is bought then i would just say no thankyou, I don't want josh playing with toy guns or swords, I cant think of anything other than those things i would refuse. If it had already been bought then i wouldn't say anything just take it & not give it to josh. I don't agree with guns/sword type things for josh, so i'd prob say "not that but he does like this, or he does want this " etc etc

 

[amazed]

I personally havent had this yet... but other relatives usually give money to them.... we usually tell them we would rather they have money cause its for there future as we spend a fortune on toys....

 

[Mamafy]

I smile then chuck it especially if its toffees/toffee apples/anything with really small pieces/anything annoying

 

[Vickie]

It's like when people give my eldest a toy that has super small parts which make it a nightmare for me to have around cos I've got younger children... I'd let him play with it for a while then sneak it into hiding for when he's on his own or just put it in the bin/give it away

I'm not one to stand up for myself often though so would probably just let them buy whatever they wanted and decide what to do with it afterwards.

argh! My FIL gives toys with small parts in them to us all the time for Hannah!! She's only a year old And I can't store them all until they're ready (some of them are old McDonald's happy meal toys ) I get rid of all of them

 

[Pyrrhic]

We have this with my in laws Everything I say I don't want Niamh to have, they seem to go out of their way to get. When I said I didn't give her rusks, they packed some in my bag to take away without me knowing. When I said I don't like plastic toys, they bought her loads (and I mean LOADS) from a charity shop for 99p each.

I know they mean well though, so it all gets put away and brought out on the odd occasion, especially if they're around. Its not doing any harm, other than taking up space I would rather they bought her things she'd enjoy though.

 

[BlackBerry25]

Take it and then I would accidentally break it

 

[FierceAngel]

luckily luisa is a girl so i shouldnt encounter this but...

i really dont like toy guns.. luisa will never have one nor will any of my children

its my preference and she is my child so i would prob just put it away and either bin it or pass it on but tbh as i dont approve of them i dont think i would want to give it as a gift.. id prob give it to a charity shop or something...

 

[555ann555]

I thought about that, but what if they (the gift-giver) asks about it?
Soooo awkward!
Like I said, I haven't really dealt with this, but I can definitely see it coming. I keep thinking that maybe I should be really vocal about my philosophies on toys? But that could get obnoxious pretty quickly, too.
sigh.
I think it probably is best to go the gracious route.
It is the thought that counts.

Have you ever actually asked after a gift you bought someone?

I'd be to nervous to ask in case the person didn't like it, and had returned it to the shop, or in case they thought I was trying to get them to say thank you again!

I think you're safe enough... I know not everyone is the same, but if I'm buying for kids I always ask the parent 1) what they need 2) what they've said they want. That way I can choose between some toy they've had their eye on, or what the parents could do with them getting!

 

[angeljewel]

We have this problem MIL wants to by my LO a kids leather three-piece-suite, its about £150 and we don't have room for it and I am constantly trying to keep the house clutter free. I just think its such a waste spending that much money on something we don't want, so Im gonna have to think of how to get her thinking of something else. She asked and I said I don't think we have the room, we are getting a new sofa so no spare space etc she didnt take the hint though!!!

I would really like her to get him a wooden balance bike instead as this is something we would buy and its only £50, so would save her money too!!!

 

[Rachiebaby24]

if its my family....i'd tell them straight.......if it was a relative or someone not that close, i would keep it and wrap it up for someone else

 

[oOKayOo]

I just give them away to charity , but i have never been in that situation with toys , room decor i have from MIL and i just chuck, they ask about it and i say kids broke it!

 

[lorrilou]

oh's parents do this, buy the kids a load of cheap tatt and i usually just hide it somewhere. luckily they've never asked about anything.

 

[Kracker]

I would talk about things like this way in advance. I would start off by talking about the things you are planning to buy for your LO and say that you have chose these because you don't like guns etc. Be adamant on the subject. If they buy them then you could politely ask them to take them back. Explain that you have discussed your reasons before hand. This will probably only happen once if you address it. I am a bit daft because I think that why should I accept something then take it away making me the bad guy when I asked for it not to be bought! If that makes sense. xx