a REAL shocker!!!!

[MrsR]

Hey guys!

as you might already know in a few months me n hubby are planning to ttc#3!
but i had some shock news tonight!!!!

my dad (48 ) (i'm 22) and his newly wedded wife (40) have ALSO decided to ttc #1 together - she has 3 kids from previous partner and my dad has me n my sis!!!!!

We have kept the fact we plan to try again quiet.... noone in the family knows and i wouldn't say until i fell and was 12 weeks just because of the constant attention and Q's it brings!!!

should i wait? or just stop at the two i've already got? it seems more than a bit strange to have a baby bro/sis and a new baby son/daughter!!!!

i'm also worried that i might put them off trying if/ when i announce i'm preg or trying or even worse... they think i'm trying because they are (i know its silly but i think women always fear that within family or close friends!!)

this is the first time ive seen my dad happy in such a long time!!!! he deserves this chance at fatherhood!! ( just to add my dad lives in france and has done since i was 18mnths old, we've always had contact but didn't see him much in my early years... he's done a lot of growing up and has lived his life; mum n him feel preg very young with me, and i really feel like he deserves a shot at the full time business with the woman he loves!!! )

what do you think? i am so shocked and happy for him i can't think straight at all!!!! i know he wasn't betting on me having any more and i think this is why they announced it!!!

is there anyone in the same situation as me or my dad that could give me a different viewpoint?

 

[Pinkgirl]

Hello

Sorry i am not in your situation so i am of no help just wanted to say

 

[mrs.beanz]

My dad is about 10 years older than your dad. His wife is fairly young and they have just had a baby. I can tell you that I wasnt too happy about it for many reasons.

The way I see it is that I did "share" in my dads life for a time but now I have my own life. Just as he has his and both of us need to do what is right for ourselves and for our families. You want your dad to be happy just as he wants you to be happy...dont put your life on hold because I am sure that isnt what he would want. Im sorry I couldnt be of more help but my father having another child this late in life was very odd at the time and it still is I suppose.

 

[MrsR]

if you don't mind me asking mrs.beanz - is it strange to have a new bro/sis at the same time as having your own?

thanks for replying i really appreciate it!! its such a strange position to find yourself in.... one of those where you think that wouldn't happen to me!!!

 

[pookies24feb09]

Hey I'm 21 and am 32 weeks with my 1st. My father is 40 and he and his gf have just had their 1st almost 5 months ago. I wasn't too happy about it when I 1st found out. It wasn't so much the fact that he was having babies when I start having babies it was more the fact that he's having babies with someone my age... But, as long as he's happy and the baby is looked after that's all that matters. I actually find it quite nice having a baby sister around the same time as I'm having my own baby... I get to start practising and my sister and my baby can play together etc when my baby gets older. It was odd in the beginning, but I wouldn't change it for anything now and is no longer weird at all

I hope this helps

 

[Lilaala]

Well I think if it were me I'd decide to go ahead with my own plans and if they seemed upset when I told them later, maybe I'd just pretend it was a surprise baby that just happened to coincide with theirs? Honestly when it comes down to it it's not anyone else's decision save for you and your spouse's.

 

[mrs.beanz]

if you don't mind me asking mrs.beanz - is it strange to have a new bro/sis at the same time as having your own?

thanks for replying i really appreciate it!! its such a strange position to find yourself in.... one of those where you think that wouldn't happen to me!!!

To be honest I feel very unattached to my new sister. My youngest sister is 10 years younger than me and it is hard to have a relationship with that big of an age gap, never mind a 35 year age gap. My dads wife is also younger than me so this whole situation isnt very ideal. As far as I am concerned (and not to sound harsh) he is doing this for himself because having a relationship with a sibling that is that much younger and lives that far away is virtually impossible so I think you should do what is right for YOU. good luck!!!

 

[MrsR]

thanks guys!! you are all so right!!! my life and his life are seperate now and any decision i make now as a married mother should be my own and whats best for me and my new responsibilites (MY kids) and not dependant on my parents!!

thanks guys you really helped me see through this!!!! its so hard when its so close to home to see through it!!!

mrs.beanz you are totally right that my dads decison to have another was not based on how it will effect me; our lives are seperate and different!!

i think you grow up getting used to everything you do being so dependant upon your parents views its difficult to detach from that viewpoint as you get older and more independant!!