Abnormalities - 12 week scan vs. 20 week scan

[sandandsun]

So, here's the thing: I originally thought I wanted to wait to share the news about my pregnancy until after the 20-week anomaly scan. This is because I had a medication exposure very early in pregnancy and I'm afraid something could potentially be wrong, although two doctors have assured me I have little to nothing to worry about.

I'm getting closer to my 12-week scan and so many people I know shared the news after that point. I'd LOVE to share the news then, too, but I keep thinking "What if something major is wrong at the 20-week scan?" I hate to think that way, but I don't know what we'd do in a serious situation and I might not want to share bad news with everyone right away (which I feel I'd have to do if they already know about the pregnancy).

My question is: Assuming everything is perfect with the 12-week scan, how likely is it something will be found at the 20-week scan? Should I tell at 12 weeks (I'd love to!) or for the sake of my worries, wait until 20? I know it's my decision, but I'm curious about others' opinions/experiences... Waiting that long will be so hard!

I'm just so anxious to share the good news! My heart and head are telling me to do two different things. It's likely I have a very healthy, normal pregnancy, but I get caught up with the 'what ifs'...

 

[messica]

There are a lot of things that can be seen on a 20 week scan that cannot be seen on a 12 week scan, but I don't think that should keep you from sharing.

Most people share around week 12 because it gets really tough to hide a pregnancy past that point. Moving out of the first trimester your risk of miscarriage decreases significantly as well.


You can and should tell whenever you feel comfortable, but if you wait until 20 weeks and discover something majorly wrong - wouldn't you want at least some people to know so you had the support anyway?

 

[sandandsun]

There are a lot of things that can be seen on a 20 week scan that cannot be seen on a 12 week scan, but I don't think that should keep you from sharing.

Most people share around week 12 because it gets really tough to hide a pregnancy past that point. Moving out of the first trimester your risk of miscarriage decreases significantly as well.


You can and should tell whenever you feel comfortable, but if you wait until 20 weeks and discover something majorly wrong - wouldn't you want at least some people to know so you had the support anyway?

Those are good points. I would want extra support. My immediate family members (parents/sister/in-laws) do know that I'm pregnant, so I would have support from them. I'm at the point where I'd like to tell friends and coworkers, too, because it's been difficult hiding it; however, I worry about the 20-week scan and how many people I would have to share bad news with if something were to go wrong...

I'm leaning toward waiting for my peace of mind, but I know it's going to be difficult...

 

[kmumtobe]

We got some less than great news at our 12 weekl nt scan, we will need further tests, scans and monitoring before hopefully we get the all clear at 20 weeks. We haven't told anyone yet but we are going to go ahead and do so now we've got our heads round it and we have had a few things ruled out so it's less doom and gloom. Reasons for sharing.. I'm finding it harder and harder to hide a bump, I'd never be able to hide by 20 weeks. I've known for 11 weeks which feels forever to keep a secret and distance myself from making it reality so I really feel I need to still make it good real news and have other peoples support and hope and excitement rub off on me and finally heaven forbid the worst happened family I believe have the right to know and recognise they had a granddaughter, nephew whatever it may be to them at that stage, whereas I'd see an early loss I can't speak from experience but something we may or may not of shared with them. I don't use facebook and don't have massive circles of friends to tell but I will tell friends too that i feel I want to know. Hope this helps and good luck!

 

[sandandsun]

We got some less than great news at our 12 weekl nt scan, we will need further tests, scans and monitoring before hopefully we get the all clear at 20 weeks. We haven't told anyone yet but we are going to go ahead and do so now we've got our heads round it and we have had a few things ruled out so it's less doom and gloom. Reasons for sharing.. I'm finding it harder and harder to hide a bump, I'd never be able to hide by 20 weeks. I've known for 11 weeks which feels forever to keep a secret and distance myself from making it reality so I really feel I need to still make it good real news and have other peoples support and hope and excitement rub off on me and finally heaven forbid the worst happened family I believe have the right to know and recognise they had a granddaughter, nephew whatever it may be to them at that stage, whereas I'd see an early loss I can't speak from experience but something we may or may not of shared with them. I don't use facebook and don't have massive circles of friends to tell but I will tell friends too that i feel I want to know. Hope this helps and good luck!

I'm so sorry you received bad news at your scan, but I hope it was nothing major and all good news will follow. *positive thoughts* Those are really good points. I'm about 11 weeks now and not showing at all, but I know I will start to show eventually. And I agree with you - I think all the excitement other people have will rub off on me and help me stay positive. I would hope that a true friend would be there for me in the case that something terrible happened, and it would be nice to get some support from coworkers before 20 weeks instead of pretending that I feel fine like I'm doing now!

I think telling friends/coworkers after my 12-week scan is a good idea for those reasons, but I think I'll definitely hold off on a facebook post until after the anomaly scan.