absolutley fed up and traumatised :(

[lauralora]

heyy girls, really needing to visit this forum at the minute

seems to be like theres just someone sat somewhere playing cruel jokes on me and laughing, everytime i pick myself up and start to really feel positve about the pregnancy, something bad happens to knock me straight back to square one. yesterday i had some brown discharge, only a small amount that i found in my underwear, i went to the hospital and the babys HB was fine, and they did a speculum that showed no bleeding; But im just so fed up of it being one thing after another, i just feel like in the end ill lose and end up misscarrying, i feel like life is so cruel sometimes and im just sat feeling angry. Today my bellys been feeling tight and im obsessing that im going into labour or something, the frustrating thing is that the doctors dont want to see me till after the scan and are saying everything seems normal. I no i should be glad about this, but im not. They wont scan me any earlier, now im sat thinking of all the possiblities and outcomes for the scan next thursday. I want my baby so much, why is it such a struggle to carry a baby?? everyone i no seems to do it so easily, they go out every weekend and have social lifes, and im just sat quivering in a corner waiting for disaster to strike, the only time i go out is when i have college, and i cant wait to get home when i go there. Ive just become so scared over the past week, and it keeps ringing in my head that if i lose this baby, im actually going to go through labor to get it out.

i really needed to wright these worries down because no one understands me, they constantly say dont worry, but thats impossible.

anyone else feeling simlar ?

thanks for reading girls

 

[JASMAK]

I have been having spotting too. It drives me insane with worry. I think that is dumb that they won't scan you. Did they give a reason? I think I will worry until after delivery.

 

[littleblonde]

You sound just like me hun. I have a really great day and think wow im gonna be a mum and within seconds and brought back down with a crash. I have had brown spotting and an extremly quiet baby with light kicks. The only good thing is the further along you get the more reasurrance you get,the more appointments you get and the more you are taken seriously. I have got to the point where im to scared to get excited. i hope things get better. My LO is breach at the moment and although im worried about a c section, im amost glad as she will be here in just over 4 weeks. Crazy me. Your not alone . PM me if you want to talk, i do no how you feel xx

 

[lauram22]

i feel the same hun, thought after 12 weeks id stop worrying but i didnt, then i set the 20 week scan as a milestone, n that hasnt made much difference. i just want this baby so much, i spose mc takes away innocence that it will all be ok. but it will be hun, if you need to talk pm me, we have to be positive, look how far along you are n bubs is great xx

 

[JadeyB]

Hey hon,

I feel very similar, I think what you are feeling is perfectly normal.

I go to work, but I don't go out apart from that at the moment. I'm just sitting tight hoping that nothing will go wrong. I don't know if I will feel better once I've past the gestation that I lost my little girl and once I get to a stage where I know she can be born without disability.

At the moment I just feel like I am existing and not really living. It will all be worth it in the end

Big hugs hon.

xxxx

 

[meldmac]

I wish we could all fall asleep and wake up with our babies happy and healthy in our arms.

 

[BrookieG]

aww hun im so sorry you're feeling like this sending you huge huggles xx

 

[Las78]

Hun, so sorry you're having a rough time, it isn't easy I know and I wish I could take that away for you. Just try and take a day at a time. You're 19weeks and 2 days hun, each day that passes, bubs has a better chance of survival should anything happen, thats what I keep telling myself and it kind of helps. Be strong. It's good to be aware of your body hun so you can respond quickly if you need to but try not to worry. I bled up to 18 weeks hun, even now I go through days where I have a little pinkish tinge on tissue and think OMG is that the plug coming away, it's so very hard but you do relax a little more as time goes on, I promise it will get a little easier xx

 

[JadeyB]

Hun, so sorry you're having a rough time, it isn't easy I know and I wish I could take that away for you. Just try and take a day at a time. You're 19weeks and 2 days hun, each day that passes, bubs has a better chance of survival should anything happen, thats what I keep telling myself and it kind of helps. Be strong. It's good to be aware of your body hun so you can respond quickly if you need to but try not to worry. I bled up to 18 weeks hun, even now I go through days where I have a little pinkish tinge on tissue and think OMG is that the plug coming away, it's so very hard but you do relax a little more as time goes on, I promise it will get a little easier xx

I count down my days in my diary and write my number of weeks in every Monday. Its only a little thing but it really does help. Only 139 days to go for me.

xxx

 

[lauralora]

Thanks so much girls your supportive answers really do make me feel better

please just cross your fingers everything will be fine for me on my scan this thursday xx

 

[Las78]

We have everything crossed for you hun x

 

[Drazic<3]

Oh darling. Nothing I can say can make it easier, just please try not to panic all the time. You will get to Thursday and we will all be sending so much love. It will be fine babes

 

[Hoolie]

Fingers crossed here for you Laura.

Alex