Access...

[cherry_pie]

How do you OB will see them? Do you have rigidly set days and times, or is it just whenever he wants? I was trying to keep it relaxed however it meant I could never make any plans as FOB decided to drop him back early (when I wasnt in) or wanted to see him when I had planned to take him somewhere. So it seems to work better knowing what time and day he goes to daddies house at. However I don't know how flexible I should be with regards to him wanting to rearrange days/times...he puts his name down for as many hours overtime as possible and then expects me to just let him change the days to when suits him...Also, how do you decide about holidays like christmas, easter, birthdays etc etc? Just when I think Im getting into a routine I remember there is all this stuff to sort out too! I don't know how much control I have over saying when he can exactly se him, he is demanding in his text messages which makes me feel a little threatened, such as I want to see my son on monday il get him at four...Im a little afraid to say no coz im not sure what he will do or say next...but yet I dont want to go along with everything. I kinda feel like it was his decision to go he cant just decide when and how often he gets to see his son...I feel like i have no control atm

 

[george83]

i have no real advice sweetie and luckily i'm not in that situation yet as my husband just emails saying he wants to see our son but never actually makes the effort to come and see him which apparantly is my fault too! but i would say that it would definitely be better to have set days and times even for little one and keeping him in his routine. i'd try not to be threatened by his text mesages -easier said than done i know - when it comes down to it if you go to a solcitor they won't stand for his threatening behaviour. if you have set days and then he cancels i'd try to keep a record of it again if it goes to a solicitor at least you have proof of what you've tried and can say it has/hasn't worked.

i can't believe that men can chose to have children with us and then just feel like they can walk out and do whatever they feel like while we have to pick up the pieces.