ADHD or just the way she is?

[babyno9]

Ok, i apologise now if this is long. Just need some advice really.

I have alway had a feeling that my 8 year old was 'different' but just thought it was the way she is. I try not to compare her with her older sister because i know all children are different but she is REALLY different from my eldest daughter.

My 8 year old has always had a tendency to be clumsy, always falling over her own feet, she's always been abit of a day dreamer too. Now i don't know how to explain this other than she likes to bag up her toys or box them up if she finds an old shoe box for example. I have to regularly sort out her bags of toys and put them in the correct place.

She is a bad eater and just gets worse with age, she hates all fruit and veg, apart from apples. Basically its easier to list the foods she will eat... plain bread (hates butter etc), apples, chicken, lamb, chocolate, biscuits and sweets. I limit the amount of sweets/chocolate she has because its not healthy but as you can see she can't live on the above diet forever. I do give her vitamins and pure apple/orange juice as thats all she will drink. I have tried encouragement and even bribery but she throws wicked tantrums and gets violent.

As above she throws tantrums, not just ordinary tantrums but she will squeal, scream, threaten to hurt my other children, rip things up, throw things and has been known to be violent. The tantrums can be caused by the most simplest of things, ie by not letting her have two biscuits and limiting her to one. But basically anything can set one off.

I have noticed she walks on tiptoes some of the time but is capable of walking with her feet flat on the floor. She also goes through stages of making a noise like she is clearing her throat, kind of like a tic.

She can be forgetful, forever losing things.. toys, books, PE kit, shoes, lunchbag etc. She really hates waiting her turn and that will result in a full blown tantrum. She can not sit still or play quietly which usually results in her waking the baby up. I could be here for ages.

I have looked online at ADHD symptoms and she ticks most, if not all of the boxes. I guess i have never really thought she could have that, i've never really put all her symptoms/querks together but when you do, you can see she does have some problems.

The thing is though the school has never mentioned anything about her behaviour, only that she day dreams alot and is behind so has extra help. She does get picked on about her behaviour and the way she is though by the other kids.

Anyway, i have an appointment for my daughter with the GP next week but i have a feeling i won't be taken seriously because she is like that.

 

[Menelly]

Don't just look at ADHD... as scary as it is, look at Aspergers too. A LOT of little girls are mistakenly labeled ADHD instead of Aspie because we tend to be more social than boys are.

To be fair, the label doesn't matter much, but anything on the Autism spectrum is likely to result in more supports than ADHD would.

I hope you can find a pediatrician that takes your concerns seriously... sounds like the little one does need help. Good luck!

(Don't mean to scare you, but your post pinged more Aspie to me than ADHD. How is she with sensory input? Does she appear to understand social queues, or do you have to explain them to her?)

 

[EllaAndLyla]

Hi! I have ADHD, it wasn't diagnosed until I was about 14, most teachers at school just thought I was attention seeking (which was partly true, more of a cry for help I suppose). My parents, along with my friends and their parents just thought I was a bit eccentric and unique. It wasn't until an incident at school that it got noticed (I got blamed for something I didn't do which was quite severe, my reaction to being blamed was quite scary, punching metal lockers, ripping posters down, literally screaming and crying, threatening to jump off the top of the stairs etc, and people then realised that there was more than met the eye!) and I was sent to a specialist unit to get checked out. They pretty much asked me questions and noted how I behaved whilst being interviewed.

I was the same as your DD sounds, day dreamer (still am!), I had the throat tic thing too which sometimes still gets me, very fussy eater! I also used to, and still have the urges sometimes, to just hide. Like whether it was under the covers in bed or in a toybox or a cupboard, I just liked the personal space.

The GP should listen hun, but I also agree with Menelly about maybe speaking to your GP about other things too because a lot of these things have the same sort of signs. If you just explain every thing to him in detail like you have here then he should listen, let him know your concerns. Good luck! x

 

[babyno9]

Thank you very much.

I have started writing down everything i am concerned about. I am going to include examples too so the doctor can get a picture of what her behaviour is like.

My daughter does fly off the handle to extremes if she is caught doing something she shouldn't. It can be quite worrying and she will sometimes shout 'i wish i was dead' or 'i wish you were all dead'

 

[lisa35]

My DD was exactly like yours, she had the ADHD test and they said nothing was wrong with her. She is now 15 yrs old and still quite clumsy, she has only just learnt to catch a ball. She has bad mood swings in the result where someone gets hurt but yet they say she hasn't got nothing wrong with her.

She has been thrown out of 3 schools, that's 2 primary schools, 1 high school. She is now in boarding school, she hates it & wants to come home but I have to protect my other 2 children from her which she has hurt on many occasions so she only comes home at weekends.

Good luck with your appointment, ADHD is a really hard condition to diagnose. But don't rule out other possible things, like toe walking could be linked with aspergers/autism!

 

[EllaAndLyla]

Thank you very much.

I have started writing down everything i am concerned about. I am going to include examples too so the doctor can get a picture of what her behaviour is like.

My daughter does fly off the handle to extremes if she is caught doing something she shouldn't. It can be quite worrying and she will sometimes shout 'i wish i was dead' or 'i wish you were all dead'

I used to, and still do sometimes, scream things like that. Deep down I never ever mean it! For me it was mostly a cry for help.

Writing everything down including examples is a really good idea. I hope you find out if there is anything there and if so, I hope you all get the support you need. xx

 

[Midnight_Fairy]

I wanted to say aspergers too. Writing things down is a fab idea. This sounds like my daughter who is 6. I have just asked for her to be assessed. x

 

[starbird]

Thank you very much.

I have started writing down everything i am concerned about. I am going to include examples too so the doctor can get a picture of what her behaviour is like.

My daughter does fly off the handle to extremes if she is caught doing something she shouldn't. It can be quite worrying and she will sometimes shout 'i wish i was dead' or 'i wish you were all dead'

My daughter says the same thing (age 16 now) she was diagnosed with adhd and thresh hold bipolar. Docs say when she goes through these its most likely she dont even know what she is saying and after she calms down which is a short time later i would ask her and she honestly wouldnt remember.There was many times she would call me cruel mean names and verbally attack anyone in the family. She was always clumbsy and couldnt stay focused, she would collect a lot of stuff like a pack rat ( figure of speech) but has gotten better with age. She has been kicked out of school before and even going to school was a difficult thing, we started home school due to her issues with social sittuatins, and being around large groups we have learned just makes things worse, and she does not handle change very well at all, we have learned a set rutine needs to be in place and keep her focused. This has helped a great deal now. But before the fits would get so bad in our home that it affected everyone and the other kids. At her age now she is more aware of her mood control but we have been working on avoiding and controling what could set her off. And with so many different meds the doc has tried we finally found one that some what works, vyvanse and zolof, but even with this the signs are still there.

 

[babyno9]

Thank you everyone.

So i've got the list of things ready for the doctor tomorrow but i have a feeling i'm going to get fobbed off. I will update when i get back to let you know what she says.

 

[EllaAndLyla]

Good luck for tommorow xx

 

[JASMAK]

Some of the things you mention sounds like ASD to me. Let us know how it goes.