Advice about BirthCertificate??

[karamel]

So that really answers my question for me ;; if he has to be there to have his name on it, it wont have his name on it. And that's not even MY decision ;; because of his conditions for threatening me & baby, he can't come near me til court, and I HIGHLY doubt that his court will be before baby's born. When he was arrested the cop said a year or more ;; and it's only been a month.
Thanks everyone for your advice

 

[FBbaby]

a birth certificate is not a document aiming at giving parents rights, it is a document for the child to know who his/her birth parents are. Personally, I find it unfair to decide to leave his name out, no matter what has happened until now. Yes, it sounds like he has some serious issues, but that doesn't change the fact that he is the biological father and your child has a right to have a document that makes it official.

Deciding whether he should have rights or not is a totally different matter. In the end, you don't have to hand over your baby if you are worried, whether he is on the birth certificate or not, and you can leave it to him to take you to court. The judge can then decide what is best for the child. In the end, if he is determine to have contact and takes you to court, the judge will automatically order the name to be added anyway. If he isn't bothered and disappear anyway, then you won't have to worry about it, but at least your child will have an official document knowing that she has a known dad.

Actually, if you google it and do some more reaserch you will see by putting the father on the BC DOES automatically give him 50% parental responsibility and rights to the childs life for the next 18 years.

He could stop you moving somewhere.. going on a long holiday abroad.. lots of things. The two are linked very closely.

The abbreviated BC doesnt have either parent on it anyway. only the full one has parents details and i for one am very glad the FOB is not on it. no way is he having control over simple things like where i choose to live, what school my child goes too, religion, etc.

It is true that a father doesn't have automatic parental responsibility if he isn't on the BC (as fathers of children born before dec 03 if he wasn't married to the mother, as in my case), but what I am trying to convey is that it would take ittle for him to gain it if he wanted to. All it takes is for him to complete a 2 page form, pay £200, and take it to the judge and he will get it if he can prove with a dna test that he is indeed the father. The judge would have to have a good reason to deny it, ie. evidence that the father would be a danger to the child (and very often, evidence that the father was violent to the mother isn't enough as it doesn't forceably mean he would be violent towards the child too).

I am not stating what I think is right or wrong, on a personal basis, I don't think it is right that a father can disappear or badly treat the mother and then decide to use his rights to his benefit, but a judge will always consider the welfare of the child and the position at the moment is that it is always better to have a father in your life, even if he is not perfect than not at all, hence judges much more likely to grant parental responsibility and visitation rights than not.

In your case, if he can't be with you on the day, then he will have to go to court indeed, but if he is motivated, it will be very easy for him to have his name added.

 

[karamel]

a birth certificate is not a document aiming at giving parents rights, it is a document for the child to know who his/her birth parents are. Personally, I find it unfair to decide to leave his name out, no matter what has happened until now. Yes, it sounds like he has some serious issues, but that doesn't change the fact that he is the biological father and your child has a right to have a document that makes it official.

Deciding whether he should have rights or not is a totally different matter. In the end, you don't have to hand over your baby if you are worried, whether he is on the birth certificate or not, and you can leave it to him to take you to court. The judge can then decide what is best for the child. In the end, if he is determine to have contact and takes you to court, the judge will automatically order the name to be added anyway. If he isn't bothered and disappear anyway, then you won't have to worry about it, but at least your child will have an official document knowing that she has a known dad.

Actually, if you google it and do some more reaserch you will see by putting the father on the BC DOES automatically give him 50% parental responsibility and rights to the childs life for the next 18 years.

He could stop you moving somewhere.. going on a long holiday abroad.. lots of things. The two are linked very closely.

The abbreviated BC doesnt have either parent on it anyway. only the full one has parents details and i for one am very glad the FOB is not on it. no way is he having control over simple things like where i choose to live, what school my child goes too, religion, etc.

It is true that a father doesn't have automatic parental responsibility if he isn't on the BC (as fathers of children born before dec 03 if he wasn't married to the mother, as in my case), but what I am trying to convey is that it would take ittle for him to gain it if he wanted to. All it takes is for him to complete a 2 page form, pay £200, and take it to the judge and he will get it if he can prove with a dna test that he is indeed the father. The judge would have to have a good reason to deny it, ie. evidence that the father would be a danger to the child (and very often, evidence that the father was violent to the mother isn't enough as it doesn't forceably mean he would be violent towards the child too).

I am not stating what I think is right or wrong, on a personal basis, I don't think it is right that a father can disappear or badly treat the mother and then decide to use his rights to his benefit, but a judge will always consider the welfare of the child and the position at the moment is that it is always better to have a father in your life, even if he is not perfect than not at all, hence judges much more likely to grant parental responsibility and visitation rights than not.

In your case, if he can't be with you on the day, then he will have to go to court indeed, but if he is motivated, it will be very easy for him to have his name added.

I know (well im pretty sure) that he'll do whatever it takes to be named. I'm sure he'll do whatever it takes to see the child.
As he won't be there, he won't be named. But, it won't be long before he takes the steps to be named on the BC.
It's no longer really a debate on putting his name on it, as i can't without him there. It's more, that I will have to plan my attack on going to court for custody and such ; as the moment FOB begins showing signs that he wants to be involved, I will take action. The sooner the better as far as I'm concerned. The longer it goes, the more b.s. that will be involved.

Thanks for your input, i appreciate it

 

[aliss]

because of his conditions for threatening me & baby, he can't come near me til court, and I HIGHLY doubt that his court will be before baby's born. When he was arrested the cop said a year or more ;; and it's only been a month.

Hi karamel,

In Canada, the conditions (no contact and other conditions such as no possession of weapons) will stay until the first appearance in court. After the first appearance, the judge will either keep those conditions,modify,or remove them. Usually, they are kept on in cases of domestic violence. The court date for the actual trial is usually 1-2 years away.

 

[karamel]

because of his conditions for threatening me & baby, he can't come near me til court, and I HIGHLY doubt that his court will be before baby's born. When he was arrested the cop said a year or more ;; and it's only been a month.

Hi karamel,

In Canada, the conditions (no contact and other conditions such as no possession of weapons) will stay until the first appearance in court. After the first appearance, the judge will either keep those conditions,modify,or remove them. Usually, they are kept on in cases of domestic violence. The court date for the actual trial is usually 1-2 years away.

When is the first appearance usually?
I know you're saying for the actual trial is 1 to 2 years, but does that include first appearance stuff?
The police officer who had him arrested, told me that there would be no contact until he went to court, and stated that it would be a year or more before that would occur. So now I'm confused.

 

[aliss]

because of his conditions for threatening me & baby, he can't come near me til court, and I HIGHLY doubt that his court will be before baby's born. When he was arrested the cop said a year or more ;; and it's only been a month.

Hi karamel,

In Canada, the conditions (no contact and other conditions such as no possession of weapons) will stay until the first appearance in court. After the first appearance, the judge will either keep those conditions,modify,or remove them. Usually, they are kept on in cases of domestic violence. The court date for the actual trial is usually 1-2 years away.

When is the first appearance usually?
I know you're saying for the actual trial is 1 to 2 years, but does that include first appearance stuff?
The police officer who had him arrested, told me that there would be no contact until he went to court, and stated that it would be a year or more before that would occur. So now I'm confused.

It can really vary. If you call your local crown counsel office (if you can't find it in the phonebook, you can call the local police non emerg # and they will have it). After the police submit the "crown" (the police report/evidence), it is up to the courts and crown counsel (prosecutor) to arrange appearances. If you give them a ring tomorrow in the morning, they should be able to tell you. The police usually don't know,they just get notices a couple weeks in advance for the main trail and don't go to first appearances.

 

[karamel]

because of his conditions for threatening me & baby, he can't come near me til court, and I HIGHLY doubt that his court will be before baby's born. When he was arrested the cop said a year or more ;; and it's only been a month.

Hi karamel,

In Canada, the conditions (no contact and other conditions such as no possession of weapons) will stay until the first appearance in court. After the first appearance, the judge will either keep those conditions,modify,or remove them. Usually, they are kept on in cases of domestic violence. The court date for the actual trial is usually 1-2 years away.

When is the first appearance usually?
I know you're saying for the actual trial is 1 to 2 years, but does that include first appearance stuff?
The police officer who had him arrested, told me that there would be no contact until he went to court, and stated that it would be a year or more before that would occur. So now I'm confused.

It can really vary. If you call your local crown counsel office (if you can't find it in the phonebook, you can call the local police non emerg # and they will have it). After the police submit the "crown" (the police report/evidence), it is up to the courts and crown counsel (prosecutor) to arrange appearances. If you give them a ring tomorrow in the morning, they should be able to tell you. The police usually don't know,they just get notices a couple weeks in advance for the main trail and don't go to first appearances.

Thanks
I'll call them first thing next week ; I have too much to do tomorrow already! lol

Question ; If the conditions are lifted, would i be notified??

 

[aliss]

because of his conditions for threatening me & baby, he can't come near me til court, and I HIGHLY doubt that his court will be before baby's born. When he was arrested the cop said a year or more ;; and it's only been a month.

Hi karamel,

In Canada, the conditions (no contact and other conditions such as no possession of weapons) will stay until the first appearance in court. After the first appearance, the judge will either keep those conditions,modify,or remove them. Usually, they are kept on in cases of domestic violence. The court date for the actual trial is usually 1-2 years away.

When is the first appearance usually?
I know you're saying for the actual trial is 1 to 2 years, but does that include first appearance stuff?
The police officer who had him arrested, told me that there would be no contact until he went to court, and stated that it would be a year or more before that would occur. So now I'm confused.

It can really vary. If you call your local crown counsel office (if you can't find it in the phonebook, you can call the local police non emerg # and they will have it). After the police submit the "crown" (the police report/evidence), it is up to the courts and crown counsel (prosecutor) to arrange appearances. If you give them a ring tomorrow in the morning, they should be able to tell you. The police usually don't know,they just get notices a couple weeks in advance for the main trail and don't go to first appearances.

Thanks
I'll call them first thing next week ; I have too much to do tomorrow already! lol

Question ; If the conditions are lifted, would i be notified??

You SHOULD be notified (it is called a k-file notification. k-files are domestics) but you should call just in case. Since your case is a threats file and not an actual domestic assault charge (or is it? I'm not sure), I'm not 100% sure if you would get the notification. The crown should call you and notify you (or the police sometimes come and visit if the crown has trouble getting hold of you).

 

[karamel]

because of his conditions for threatening me & baby, he can't come near me til court, and I HIGHLY doubt that his court will be before baby's born. When he was arrested the cop said a year or more ;; and it's only been a month.

Hi karamel,

In Canada, the conditions (no contact and other conditions such as no possession of weapons) will stay until the first appearance in court. After the first appearance, the judge will either keep those conditions,modify,or remove them. Usually, they are kept on in cases of domestic violence. The court date for the actual trial is usually 1-2 years away.

When is the first appearance usually?
I know you're saying for the actual trial is 1 to 2 years, but does that include first appearance stuff?
The police officer who had him arrested, told me that there would be no contact until he went to court, and stated that it would be a year or more before that would occur. So now I'm confused.

It can really vary. If you call your local crown counsel office (if you can't find it in the phonebook, you can call the local police non emerg # and they will have it). After the police submit the "crown" (the police report/evidence), it is up to the courts and crown counsel (prosecutor) to arrange appearances. If you give them a ring tomorrow in the morning, they should be able to tell you. The police usually don't know,they just get notices a couple weeks in advance for the main trail and don't go to first appearances.

Thanks
I'll call them first thing next week ; I have too much to do tomorrow already! lol

Question ; If the conditions are lifted, would i be notified??

You SHOULD be notified (it is called a k-file notification. k-files are domestics) but you should call just in case. Since your case is a threats file and not an actual domestic assault charge (or is it? I'm not sure), I'm not 100% sure if you would get the notification. The crown should call you and notify you (or the police sometimes come and visit if the crown has trouble getting hold of you).

Yeah it's just a threat. Not assault.
So what i'll do is call on monday and find out when the first appearance will be. At least that way I'll know when he's supposed to go, and after that date, I can call the police station and ask if the condition are still applicable i suppose?
How do you know all of this information??

 

[aliss]

because of his conditions for threatening me & baby, he can't come near me til court, and I HIGHLY doubt that his court will be before baby's born. When he was arrested the cop said a year or more ;; and it's only been a month.

Hi karamel,

In Canada, the conditions (no contact and other conditions such as no possession of weapons) will stay until the first appearance in court. After the first appearance, the judge will either keep those conditions,modify,or remove them. Usually, they are kept on in cases of domestic violence. The court date for the actual trial is usually 1-2 years away.

When is the first appearance usually?
I know you're saying for the actual trial is 1 to 2 years, but does that include first appearance stuff?
The police officer who had him arrested, told me that there would be no contact until he went to court, and stated that it would be a year or more before that would occur. So now I'm confused.

It can really vary. If you call your local crown counsel office (if you can't find it in the phonebook, you can call the local police non emerg # and they will have it). After the police submit the "crown" (the police report/evidence), it is up to the courts and crown counsel (prosecutor) to arrange appearances. If you give them a ring tomorrow in the morning, they should be able to tell you. The police usually don't know,they just get notices a couple weeks in advance for the main trail and don't go to first appearances.

Thanks
I'll call them first thing next week ; I have too much to do tomorrow already! lol

Question ; If the conditions are lifted, would i be notified??

You SHOULD be notified (it is called a k-file notification. k-files are domestics) but you should call just in case. Since your case is a threats file and not an actual domestic assault charge (or is it? I'm not sure), I'm not 100% sure if you would get the notification. The crown should call you and notify you (or the police sometimes come and visit if the crown has trouble getting hold of you).

Yeah it's just a threat. Not assault.
So what i'll do is call on monday and find out when the first appearance will be. At least that way I'll know when he's supposed to go, and after that date, I can call the police station and ask if the condition are still applicable i suppose?
How do you know all of this information??

Well, you could call the police and ask if the conditions are still applicable but sometimes the court records aren't updated for a few days so it's not 100%. The court house has the records and then sends it to the police, often there are delays.

How do I know? My job.. I am a dispatcher in a police department.. I am the one who enters conditions/confirms/deals with headaches from the courthouse not updating their conditions registry

 

[karamel]

because of his conditions for threatening me & baby, he can't come near me til court, and I HIGHLY doubt that his court will be before baby's born. When he was arrested the cop said a year or more ;; and it's only been a month.

Hi karamel,

In Canada, the conditions (no contact and other conditions such as no possession of weapons) will stay until the first appearance in court. After the first appearance, the judge will either keep those conditions,modify,or remove them. Usually, they are kept on in cases of domestic violence. The court date for the actual trial is usually 1-2 years away.

When is the first appearance usually?
I know you're saying for the actual trial is 1 to 2 years, but does that include first appearance stuff?
The police officer who had him arrested, told me that there would be no contact until he went to court, and stated that it would be a year or more before that would occur. So now I'm confused.

It can really vary. If you call your local crown counsel office (if you can't find it in the phonebook, you can call the local police non emerg # and they will have it). After the police submit the "crown" (the police report/evidence), it is up to the courts and crown counsel (prosecutor) to arrange appearances. If you give them a ring tomorrow in the morning, they should be able to tell you. The police usually don't know,they just get notices a couple weeks in advance for the main trail and don't go to first appearances.

Thanks
I'll call them first thing next week ; I have too much to do tomorrow already! lol

Question ; If the conditions are lifted, would i be notified??

You SHOULD be notified (it is called a k-file notification. k-files are domestics) but you should call just in case. Since your case is a threats file and not an actual domestic assault charge (or is it? I'm not sure), I'm not 100% sure if you would get the notification. The crown should call you and notify you (or the police sometimes come and visit if the crown has trouble getting hold of you).

Yeah it's just a threat. Not assault.
So what i'll do is call on monday and find out when the first appearance will be. At least that way I'll know when he's supposed to go, and after that date, I can call the police station and ask if the condition are still applicable i suppose?
How do you know all of this information??

Well, you could call the police and ask if the conditions are still applicable but sometimes the court records aren't updated for a few days so it's not 100%. The court house has the records and then sends it to the police, often there are delays.

How do I know? My job.. I am a dispatcher in a police department.. I am the one who enters conditions/confirms/deals with headaches from the courthouse not updating their conditions registry

See i figured something along those lines. You knew too much to just know. lol
But thank you veryy much for the advice!
I'll probably call next week and find out about first appearances and such!
Again, thank you

 

[daniellelk]

Alright ; last night here was the debate in my household :

Should I put FOBs name on the BC or not?

I don't particularily want him to have any rights to the child (mean, i know, but he's not a good person) ; and I couldn't care less about child support. He currently has a 6 y/o that he pays $221 a month for. So it's not like it'd be a substantial amount.
Even if he were to have rights, I would be telling the courts I only want him to be allowed supervised visitation if anything.
But ;

I have a feeling that FOB is going to fight for his rights to this child. But, I also know he can't afford DNA testing or anything if he's not listed as the father on the BC. But I'm sure he'll find a way to pay for it.

So what do you all think would be easier? Just to put him on the BC, go for sole custody with no access ; or not put him on the BC and have him have to fight for rights (if he chooses to). Like i said, the child support isn't really something I'm worried about ; but if his name is on the BC, then I'll have to go for CS as my assistance with income when the baby is born will make me do so. As a single mother, they'll force it. FOB not on BC means I never have to deal with him again, unless like i said, he fights to see the baby.

I just really don't know what to do. And I also don't know if it'll come back to bite me in the ass if I DONT put him on the BC, knowing damn well he's the father.

I'm thinking I should consult a lawyer about the whole thing ; but I'm really just not sure what to do!
And advice would be amazing

Your basicly trying to play god with this baby's life. Even if you do not put his name on the BC, if you end up going for CSA, he can turn round and say he wants a DNA test, if he doesnt have the money for it, they will pay and he will pay them so much back a week/month (i know this as my OH had a DNA test with his child) his EX tried to avoid him access to his daughter, and didn't put him on the BC, but my OH just went to a solicitors and we paid for them to track down his EX so that he could start putting in for visitation, all though his EX as ignored letter from solicitors and mediation, it is going to court.

If you don't put his name on straight away and he takes you through court, and they order you to put his name on the BC then how are you going to feel when your daughter/son grow up and see that there as been a amendmant on the BC? and question you about it?
If your EX is not a threat to your child then why not put him on, you can always say you want visitation supervised.

Look at it this way, how would you feel if your mum didn't name your father on your BC, and you grew up not knowing your biological father?

 

[aliss]

Your basicly trying to play god with this baby's life. Even if you do not put his name on the BC, if you end up going for CSA, he can turn round and say he wants a DNA test, if he doesnt have the money for it, they will pay and he will pay them so much back a week/month (i know this as my OH had a DNA test with his child) his EX tried to avoid him access to his daughter, and didn't put him on the BC, but my OH just went to a solicitors and we paid for them to track down his EX so that he could start putting in for visitation, all though his EX as ignored letter from solicitors and mediation, it is going to court.

If you don't put his name on straight away and he takes you through court, and they order you to put his name on the BC then how are you going to feel when your daughter/son grow up and see that there as been a amendmant on the BC? and question you about it?
If your EX is not a threat to your child then why not put him on, you can always say you want visitation supervised.

Look at it this way, how would you feel if your mum didn't name your father on your BC, and you grew up not knowing your biological father?

The OP karamel is NOT from England and civil family court laws are not the same here in Canada. CSA is not an agency that exists in this country.

If you read her post instead of assuming that she is like your OH's ex, you would see that there is currently a current criminal charge and no-contact conditions against him contacting both her and her child as he threatened to kill them.

So read her post before you assuming she is trying to "play god" with her child's life. I'm not a single parent but I do work directly with criminal law in Canada so I am trying to help her with advice to deal with her situation. Are you here to help too, or judge her without even knowing her situation?

 

[daniellelk]

sorry. It just annoys me when women don't put the fathers name on BC (not just because of my OH's situation cause his ex is just warped in head anyway) and if thats the case with the police and he does try to get contact, the social service's will get involved.
I have a cousin who as 3 children each with a different dad, and she hasn't put names on BC infact only she know's who the fathers are, and a many of time's if sat with the eldest while she's cried because she wants to know who her dad is and darent talk to her mum (who is a alcholic, so is either drunk or in a foul mood, yet the SS wont do anything to help the children)
Iv seen a many a times how it affects a child who's mother has not put the fathers name one BC.
People are intitled to opion's and i did read the posts fyi.

 

[karamel]

sorry. It just annoys me when women don't put the fathers name on BC (not just because of my OH's situation cause his ex is just warped in head anyway) and if thats the case with the police and he does try to get contact, the social service's will get involved.
I have a cousin who as 3 children each with a different dad, and she hasn't put names on BC infact only she know's who the fathers are, and a many of time's if sat with the eldest while she's cried because she wants to know who her dad is and darent talk to her mum (who is a alcholic, so is either drunk or in a foul mood, yet the SS wont do anything to help the children)
Iv seen a many a times how it affects a child who's mother has not put the fathers name one BC.
People are intitled to opion's and i did read the posts fyi.

At this point, I've learned that I am UNABLE to put him on the BC unless he is THERE! And he won't be as he can't come near me due to his conditions.
So, if you had indeed read all of the posts, you would KNOW this, and wouldn't be judging me or this issue at hand.

 

[purpledahlia]

sorry. It just annoys me when women don't put the fathers name on BC (not just because of my OH's situation cause his ex is just warped in head anyway) and if thats the case with the police and he does try to get contact, the social service's will get involved.
I have a cousin who as 3 children each with a different dad, and she hasn't put names on BC infact only she know's who the fathers are, and a many of time's if sat with the eldest while she's cried because she wants to know who her dad is and darent talk to her mum (who is a alcholic, so is either drunk or in a foul mood, yet the SS wont do anything to help the children)
Iv seen a many a times how it affects a child who's mother has not put the fathers name one BC.
People are intitled to opion's and i did read the posts fyi.

And are you also aware how it can affect a childs life if a no-good arsehole of a guy IS on the BC and HE plays god with the mothers and the childs life????

If it pisses you off seeing women not putting the names on then i suggest you DONT come into SINGLE parents and judge us for our desicions... which are BEST FOR THE CHILD. If you cant offer help and advice then dont say anything at all cos saying things like you did in the single parents section is gonna do nothing but offend us. Dont you think we put our childrens best interests first??? do you even know the law if he is on the BC ? one experience of a -bad mother-bad choices-father who cares- scenario doesnt make all situations like that. infact its a rareity.

 

[teal]

sorry. It just annoys me when women don't put the fathers name on BC (not just because of my OH's situation cause his ex is just warped in head anyway) and if thats the case with the police and he does try to get contact, the social service's will get involved.
I have a cousin who as 3 children each with a different dad, and she hasn't put names on BC infact only she know's who the fathers are, and a many of time's if sat with the eldest while she's cried because she wants to know who her dad is and darent talk to her mum (who is a alcholic, so is either drunk or in a foul mood, yet the SS wont do anything to help the children)
Iv seen a many a times how it affects a child who's mother has not put the fathers name one BC.
People are intitled to opion's and i did read the posts fyi.

And are you also aware how it can affect a childs life if a no-good arsehole of a guy IS on the BC and HE plays god with the mothers and the childs life????

If it pisses you off seeing women not putting the names on then i suggest you DONT come into SINGLE parents and judge us for our desicions... which are BEST FOR THE CHILD. If you cant offer help and advice then dont say anything at all cos saying things like you did in the single parents section is gonna do nothing but offend us. Dont you think we put our childrens best interests first??? do you even know the law if he is on the BC ? one experience of a -bad mother-bad choices-father who cares- scenario doesnt make all situations like that. infact its a rareity.

Well said

As karamel said - not everyone has the choice of putting the fathers name on the birth certificate. Where I am (no idea if it's the same in England) the father has to be present when registering the birth so if he isn't interested then it's out with our control.

 

[karamel]

sorry. It just annoys me when women don't put the fathers name on BC (not just because of my OH's situation cause his ex is just warped in head anyway) and if thats the case with the police and he does try to get contact, the social service's will get involved.
I have a cousin who as 3 children each with a different dad, and she hasn't put names on BC infact only she know's who the fathers are, and a many of time's if sat with the eldest while she's cried because she wants to know who her dad is and darent talk to her mum (who is a alcholic, so is either drunk or in a foul mood, yet the SS wont do anything to help the children)
Iv seen a many a times how it affects a child who's mother has not put the fathers name one BC.
People are intitled to opion's and i did read the posts fyi.

And are you also aware how it can affect a childs life if a no-good arsehole of a guy IS on the BC and HE plays god with the mothers and the childs life????

If it pisses you off seeing women not putting the names on then i suggest you DONT come into SINGLE parents and judge us for our desicions... which are BEST FOR THE CHILD. If you cant offer help and advice then dont say anything at all cos saying things like you did in the single parents section is gonna do nothing but offend us. Dont you think we put our childrens best interests first??? do you even know the law if he is on the BC ? one experience of a -bad mother-bad choices-father who cares- scenario doesnt make all situations like that. infact its a rareity.

Well said

As karamel said - not everyone has the choice of putting the fathers name on the birth certificate. Where I am (no idea if it's the same in England) the father has to be present when registering the birth so if he isn't interested then it's out with our control.

From everything I've read, been told and researched ; the father has to be present at the registration, or has to send a letter saying he gives consent to being named the father.
As he won't be there, nor will he know when I give birth, it's utterly impossible to name him as the father.

 

[Moulder86]

I put my lil boys dad on his BC thought it was the right thing to do etc and now I REALLY wish I hadn't!! To the point I want to see a lawyer to see if I can get his parental rights taken away or something. He hasn't bothered to see him in about a year. Said he'll pop in and never turns up!

Some people don't deserve to have children and by the sounds of it he doesn't!