Advice about BirthCertificate??

[karamel]

Alright ; last night here was the debate in my household :

Should I put FOBs name on the BC or not?

I don't particularily want him to have any rights to the child (mean, i know, but he's not a good person) ; and I couldn't care less about child support. He currently has a 6 y/o that he pays $221 a month for. So it's not like it'd be a substantial amount.
Even if he were to have rights, I would be telling the courts I only want him to be allowed supervised visitation if anything.
But ;

I have a feeling that FOB is going to fight for his rights to this child. But, I also know he can't afford DNA testing or anything if he's not listed as the father on the BC. But I'm sure he'll find a way to pay for it.

So what do you all think would be easier? Just to put him on the BC, go for sole custody with no access ; or not put him on the BC and have him have to fight for rights (if he chooses to). Like i said, the child support isn't really something I'm worried about ; but if his name is on the BC, then I'll have to go for CS as my assistance with income when the baby is born will make me do so. As a single mother, they'll force it. FOB not on BC means I never have to deal with him again, unless like i said, he fights to see the baby.

I just really don't know what to do. And I also don't know if it'll come back to bite me in the ass if I DONT put him on the BC, knowing damn well he's the father.

I'm thinking I should consult a lawyer about the whole thing ; but I'm really just not sure what to do!
And advice would be amazing

 

[toonlagoon]

if im honsit with you form my point of view i would sujest to you ou dont put his name on it
as he would have to fight for it and if he cant aford a dna test he can not prove it is !!
you put his name on there and he can take you to sort for acses im not 110% shore that excly right
but that how it worked for my cosen

 

[karamel]

I know that with his name on it ; he has rights.
Even if i file for sole custody with no access, he can fight it in court. And then it becomes the judge's decision what FOB will get. And I'm scared that he'll get like weekends or anything like it. I don't trust FOB, and I def will not trust him with my baby when he/she is born. But if the courts decide to give him access, there would be nothing I could do.
So maybe NOT putting his name on BC is the best idea..

 

[toonlagoon]

read toght what i posted last its called can you relaite by toonlagoon
that my ex lol
and well if i was you i woudl not pout name on get any infopeople that have seen his bahavour down and any info you can get on y he shoudl not see it get it ready for if he dose protecst but if i was you do not put his name on it

 

[Hollys_Twinny]

I think if he's the daddy his name should be put on there regardless of the amount of money he can provide! If you fear for your childs safety, then you can still apply for supervised visits. If he's not violent, then I really don't see why you'd want your child to not have contact with him!

 

[toonlagoon]

no disrecpect to you as that what you think but read what i posted and in certan cercumstnses its best and at the end of the day if it right for you cos the cercumstanses are not good then it somtimes not as easy sorry about speelling i have dexlexier xx

 

[karamel]

I think if he's the daddy his name should be put on there regardless of the amount of money he can provide! If you fear for your childs safety, then you can still apply for supervised visits. If he's not violent, then I really don't see why you'd want your child to not have contact with him!

It really has nothing to do with money. All I'm saying is if his name is on it ; i will have to go for CS and it's not something I'm concerned about.
I do fear for my child's safety, during our break up he threated to get a knife and give me an abortion. He's been charged with assault on a minor, being his 6 y/o, which happened a few years ago.
I don't believe him to be a good father, I don't trust him, or his anger issues or his drug habits. And that's why I don't want my child to have contact with him!
I'm not just being a spiteful b*tch here and saying "eff him i dont want him to see his kid". I'm sincerely looking for the best situation for my child.
I'm willing to do supervised visits, but my fear is that if he fights that in court, he'll get more than that. (he currently gets every other weekend with his other son). And I don't trust him with our child alone.
There are other issues and experiences about the FOB that are playing a role here, but I don't feel the need to completely hang him out to dry.

But thanks for your opinion on the situation.

 

[toonlagoon]

but as long as you can get the cort to agree with your point of view and can prove all he has done then they will NOt give him more than suprived if that
a smy cosen had a abbay with som1 that had a pasr of drug abuse and tryed to kidnap the babay
and that pritty much all it took for them to say supervised visits for 2 hours a week
so you no they do tned to think of what best for the babay and my cosen wonted him to have some acses they cort wernt going to give him a thing

 

[Joyzerelly]

If the father isn't a violent or dangerous person, then I think you should put his name on the BC. His child has a right to know his father and may grow up to resent you if you prevent their having a relationship. He also has a right to a relationship with his child. But it's the child who is most important here, not whether or not you have to deal with the man again. He was nice enough for you to get pregnant by him after all.

 

[Joyzerelly]

I think if he's the daddy his name should be put on there regardless of the amount of money he can provide! If you fear for your childs safety, then you can still apply for supervised visits. If he's not violent, then I really don't see why you'd want your child to not have contact with him!

It really has nothing to do with money. All I'm saying is if his name is on it ; i will have to go for CS and it's not something I'm concerned about.
I do fear for my child's safety, during our break up he threated to get a knife and give me an abortion. He's been charged with assault on a minor, being his 6 y/o, which happened a few years ago.
I don't believe him to be a good father, I don't trust him, or his anger issues or his drug habits. And that's why I don't want my child to have contact with him!
I'm not just being a spiteful b*tch here and saying "eff him i dont want him to see his kid". I'm sincerely looking for the best situation for my child.
I'm willing to do supervised visits, but my fear is that if he fights that in court, he'll get more than that. (he currently gets every other weekend with his other son). And I don't trust him with our child alone.
There are other issues and experiences about the FOB that are playing a role here, but I don't feel the need to completely hang him out to dry.

But thanks for your opinion on the situation.

All of the above being fact, I wouldn't put his name on the birth certificate, and I'd move far far away from him so he doesn't know where you are.

 

[toonlagoon]

i agree lol

 

[karamel]

I think if he's the daddy his name should be put on there regardless of the amount of money he can provide! If you fear for your childs safety, then you can still apply for supervised visits. If he's not violent, then I really don't see why you'd want your child to not have contact with him!

It really has nothing to do with money. All I'm saying is if his name is on it ; i will have to go for CS and it's not something I'm concerned about.
I do fear for my child's safety, during our break up he threated to get a knife and give me an abortion. He's been charged with assault on a minor, being his 6 y/o, which happened a few years ago.
I don't believe him to be a good father, I don't trust him, or his anger issues or his drug habits. And that's why I don't want my child to have contact with him!
I'm not just being a spiteful b*tch here and saying "eff him i dont want him to see his kid". I'm sincerely looking for the best situation for my child.
I'm willing to do supervised visits, but my fear is that if he fights that in court, he'll get more than that. (he currently gets every other weekend with his other son). And I don't trust him with our child alone.
There are other issues and experiences about the FOB that are playing a role here, but I don't feel the need to completely hang him out to dry.

But thanks for your opinion on the situation.

All of the above being fact, I wouldn't put his name on the birth certificate, and I'd move far far away from him so he doesn't know where you are.

It is fact. The night we broke up ; he uttered the threat. I had him arrested. Right now, he has conditions which include he can't come within 200 meters of my residence nor can he attempt to contact me without it being breach of his conditions.
And it's for these reasons that I don't want him having contact with this child.
I understand that it's unfair to the child to not have a relationship with his or her father, but in this circumstance, I think it's a better way.
Like i said, I'm not just being spiteful, I'm looking out for my child's best interest.

 

[toonlagoon]

youre doign the right thing for you huni
and i will suport you if you need it

 

[karamel]

youre doign the right thing for you huni
and i will suport you if you need it

Thanks
I know not everyone agrees with how I want to handle the situation ; but the baby is the important party here ; and I'm it's mother, therefore I make the decisions here.

 

[toonlagoon]

excly and i agree with you i supose thow cos of my situtaion and cos of the things thats happned with my cosen and things i can relaite to youre siution lot mire and understnd how you feel and im realy happy to try suport you as much as i can if you send me a privet messge with you e male adress ior number on we can keep in contact if you like

 

[karamel]

excly and i agree with you i supose thow cos of my situtaion and cos of the things thats happned with my cosen and things i can relaite to youre siution lot mire and understnd how you feel and im realy happy to try suport you as much as i can if you send me a privet messge with you e male adress ior number on we can keep in contact if you like

Sent

 

[princessellie]

i wouldnt put his name no if he acted like that towards me and had actually threatened my baby!!!

when you register your baby tell them you slept with two people and dont know who is the father, then i dont think they can make you put either name on, jic

x

 

[nievesmama]

I had major probs with my LOs dad. When i went to register her i explained the situation to the registrar they were fine with not putting him on. There is just a line through the space where FOB should go.

 

[karamel]

Thanks for everyone's advice.
I'm still mildly unsure of what I'm going to do. it's 6 of one, half a dozen of another.

 

[purpledahlia]

If he threatened your child, and you, then i dont even see why you would consider putting him on and handing over rights to him.

I didnt get asked why/who or anything about FOB when i registered ava. Simply said hes not going on and she said ok and did a line through the space.

Im not sure about the law's in canada... but i wouldnt put him on.