Advice from Experienced Moms and Women.

[Sentiment]

Thank you so much for the kind words, I'm still very afraid.

I'm still so tempted to beg the father to step up, but I have to stop myself because I think he enjoys seeing me beg him, so i'm going to send him pictures and see how he reacts

I'm also considering asking his sister for her old baby clothes, but I don't want to seem desperate

 

[LittleMadam]

No harm in asking her, and if you are not opposed to the idea, check out thrift stores, such as Goodwill. Babies only really need basics. Also, keep in mind, they don't care how they are dressed as long as they are warm and comfy.

Definitely do not beg him to take a part. Honey, it's hard but you still have your dignity. Do not let him have that. What pictures are you thinking of sending him? Ones from the ultrasound? Do you think pictures will change his mind?

Many hugs.xx

 

[Sentiment]

I think it might, maybe it'll feel more real to him. Maybe if he knows the gender, he can connect more. I think he is still thinking of this baby as "hypothetical"

I'm thinking if I just forgive him, maybe it will be the first step towards us putting our problems aside and try to be parents.

I'm def going to goodwill, and i've been scanning craiglist for a whole.

I feel really alone, and I really need him. I'm really pathetic

 

[scottishgal89]

Agree with LittleMadam and you definitly don't need him. Don't beg him. Don't forgive him. Don't do anything.
You can't force him to connect.
Your baby needs a happy mummy, not a trapped, unhappy one.
Concentrate on yourself and your LO, chin up and move on for your baby's sake.
It's his loss and trust me, he'll realise that one day.
Do you want to know the sex?

 

[Sentiment]

I just feel that he gets to walk around care free, and I have to walk around with this shame, and people judging me. and he hates me for no reason.

Why do I have to suffer alone, when he wanted this.

and yeah I wanna know the sex, but I can't afford those gender scans.

 

[TattiesMum]

No-one here is judging you Hon and you have nothing to be ashamed of - he does. But for all that we can't force anyone to be with us and our LOs and in the long run he is the one who is losing out.

Please, please talk to your family and talk to the girls in the Teen Pregnancy section ... a great many of them have been where you are now and they will be able to help you out with great advice and a support system like no other

 

[Sentiment]

I'm afraid to tell my family, I told the father thinking maybe he would be understanding, but he wished death on me, and I'm so afraid that my mom will be ashamed and won't want to have anything to do with me, I want to get myself atleast independent enough that we can survive.

I have these horrible trust issues, I honestly told the father when we were together, "If you're going to come and leave me, then don't bother coming because I can't take someone else leaving me" and he said you don't ever have to worry about that. And he actually said to me "If you leave me I have the right to punch you in the face" and when he left me he told me I cried too much and it was annoying.

Also, since I got pregnant my first time, I have a lot of problems with anything sexual in nature, it bothers me so much. I have to turn the channel, or turn my head the second I see two people showing any sign of it. I just go back to that moment, and I get so sad. I consented, but I'm so disturbed by it. I can't sleep that well, and I'm having a lot of nightmares.


Wtf is wrong with me, when a girl loses her virginity it should be sometime happy right? Maybe I should see a mental doctor too?

 

[scottishgal89]

If you think you should see a counsellor then you should. Go to the doctors or explain to your midwife about how your feeling and they will help you.
I fell pregnant at 19 and even though my Mum was shocked that soon turned to excited and kind of scared at the same time. She's your Mum. I'm not going to lie, the initial reaction might not be good. But trust me, she will come round.
As for your ex. He made a comment about wishing you were dead. Why would you want to be around someone like that and have your baby in that situation? You're better off now. It's his loss.
You can do this. Lots of us on here have when we felt like we never could. But we fought through it and so can you.
Pregnancy is a struggle. Emotions/Hormones and that does play a part but you need to keep busy. Plan for the baby. Maybe try and take up a hobby and do some exercise too. When you hold your baby in your arms, your ex is not going to matter and being a single mum is the most rewarding job there is. You have them all to yourself, the good times and the bad, everything they learn, it's from you. It's a huge achievement.

 

[Sentiment]

Thank you so much for your words