advice from your experience please

[goingabitmad]

Sorry, I'm sure this is answered somewhere on the site but I am going a little bit mad trying to find the answers I need.

I am coming up to 5 weeks. My boobs are hurting less and less. I don't feel pregnant in any other way at all. I have cramps in my lower pelvis region. Not unbearable, but as though my period is about to start. I also have a thick white mucus. I see that pelvic cramps and loss of symptoms can indicate a chemical pregnancy / very early miscarriage.

Sorry to ask something uncomfortable and bring back memories for people but if these were your first signs of miscarriage when did bleeding start?

I can see this is a very caring forum but please don't send sympathetic words. I won't be able to cope with that because I am in a horrible horrible situation personally and am struggling to keep my head above water with other problems. The only way I can deal with this is by being matter of fact.

Thank you all for reading and your time.

 

[Sunflower1]

Hi goingabitmad.

I know it's really stressful to go through this because I've been through exactly the same. I'm just going through my second miscarriage and I've had a feeling both times that I'd lost the baby cos i lost my symptoms.

The first time when I got to 9 weeks all my symptoms disappeared- boobs were getting less achey and I stopped feeling sick. A week later I got period type pain and started bleeding a day later.

The second time I had been having abdominal cramps right from the start-but had been assured that's nothing to worry about without bleeding.however, I woke up boxing day to find my nausea was going,my boobs were getting less achey and my energy was starting to come back. I scan revealed I had lost the baby around the time my symptoms were diminishing.

I'm so sorry you're going through this-but what I will say is that abdominal cramps can be a normal pregnancy symptom-I've read this countless times and been assured of it and was also told pregnancy symptoms can decrease and increase in surges. The only way to be sure is a scan but unfirtunately they can't see anything at 5 weeks so you've got abit of a wait. I'd go to my doctor's and tell them my concerns and request an early scan. Good luck.

 

[goingabitmad]

Thank you sunflower. That's really useful. I've got an appointment booked for a week's time so I'll wait and see and keep busy to keep my mind off things.

I can't speak to anyone at all about this so I was hoping the forum would come up trumps.

 

[Sunflower1]

Keeping busy will help but also if you need to off load at all just say what you need to say on here-we understand what a roller coaster pregnancy can be and I'm finding this a great source of comfort. Will be thinking of you x

 

[TripleA]

Hello.....I had abdominal cramps at the very start of my pregnancy and went on to have a perfectly healthy son. The first sign of my missed miscarriage this time around was bleeding heavily....I had none of the other signs you mentioned. Wishing you well and crossing my fingers xx

 

[silverlizard]

I lost a pregnancy at five weeks last year - I did notice a lack of symptoms, but it was my first pregnancy and so early on that I wasn't sure what I should have been feeling anyway. I found out through the doctor checking my HCG levels, but I did not start actually bleeding until six weeks after that. If you think it's likely you are miscarrying, I'd say the best thing you can do is speak to your doctor next week, try to find out for sure what's happening - blood tests might help figure things out? - and talk about your options. It is quite possible that things are completely fine, but talking to a doctor is definitely the best idea.

 

[goingabitmad]

Again, thank you all. It's useful to be able to compare to other's experiences. It seems none of us are the same.

I will speak to doc next Saturday and I've been told I should wee on the strip again sometime this week.

 

[goingabitmad]

I mean "others' experiences" (grammar pedant, sorry).

 

[kittiyara]

Get an hcg test to tell where your levels are. Everyone is different - some people have a lot of symptoms, others do not. I didn't have a lot of symptoms and it turned out to be a blighted ovum, but you just cant tell. What matters is that the numbers should double every 2-3 days. Mine never did. From what Ive read, symptoms should increase with hcg levels.

 

[Sunflower1]

Your words are v true, goingabitmad, none of us are the same and the annoying thing is no 2 of your own pregnancies are forced to be the same either. My first one I had spotting when I should have come on my first period but then it ceased. I had no abdo cramps until the miscarriage. I was told that when you are pregnant you get this stringy discharge-but when I got pregnant the second time I didn't get discharge and my second pregnancy I had no bleeding at all but lots of abdo cramps all the time.

I've learnt that the body's an amazing thing and the signs are there for me both when I've become pregnant and when there's something wrong. The one thing you can draw on from miscarriage is life experience.

 

[goingabitmad]

Kittiyara, thanks for explaining the HcG.

Can this be done with a home test? I've only got one where it shows two lines or one line. Are there tests which give levels at home? My docs appt isn't for another week you see.

Life's experience is right, sunflower. This is part of such a complicated situation I can't begin to explain. Not an affair or anything like that. Just life going a bit mad.

 

[Sunflower1]

Whatever the circumstances, goingabitmad, you are going through a v stressful time so please don't be afraid to ask for help -health services are confidential and you won't be judged on here. Good luck xx

 

[goingabitmad]

Thanks, Sunflower. I nearly told someone at work yesterday but I can't because I'm really at logger-heads with my boss and am considering putting in a bullying complaint. No way can she know about this until I know for sure what's going on and these things have a habit of getting out. that's why I've got to wait until next weekend to see the doc. Can't take a day off work to do so. She pressured me into cancelling an emergency appointment for a long term health condition a few weeks ago, so she'd have a field day with this. I'd been hoping to move on to a new job but now.... who knows?

I can't tell any friends or family. They've always hated the father. Rightly so. They could see long before I did (a year before, actually) what he's really like and boy do I wish I'd believed them. Why make them angry/distressed/upset until I know what's going on?

The father is not in my life now but I still bump into him almost daily. I've not said a word to him about it. Again, why stir up a hornets' nest until I know for sure what's happening? I'd said goodbye to him because ... get this.... I'd registered with an adoption agency and realised I didn't want him to be part of a child's life because of his temper and personality.

I feel very hot then cold today, still got cramps. Everything feels like my period is coming. I'll just stay calm until Saturday. In my heart of hearts I know that I'm not really pregnant anymore. Just like I knew I was pregnant before I did the test. If I find out I'm wrong on Saturday then I can start to take legal advice about work / the father and sort things out for the future.

And in the middle of all this I've gone back to college as a part time student.

What a mess.

Sorry to offload but I'm reaching overload.

 

[kittiyara]

No - you can't test for it at home. You can call you doctor and ask them to send you for bloodwork. My results usually come back in a day.

 

[goingabitmad]

Thank you, Kitti. I think they'll do this next weekend. I'll just have to keep waiting.

 

[minties]

My first miscarriage, I didn't even know I was pregnant. Just thought I was having my period. My first sign was bleeding. Then I got strong cramps, and I'd never had cramps with my period, ever. So I thought something was up.

Then I passed some weird tissue and the cramps got very very strong, and also a little blob of jelly stuff.

I only knew that I had been pregnant as I went to the doctor to comfirm the next day with a blood test, then a week later with another test showing the hormones were going down.

With my succesful pregnancy, I got lots of discharge in the 1st trimester. Boob soreness was gone by 5.5 weeks. I didn't get cramps but I got lots of weird stabbing pains.

I also had bleeding, which lasted for about a week, from 4.5 weeks. So don't think that blood means it's over. It was bright red fresh blood too.

Hope that helps

 

[SabrinaKat]

I had an mc in August 2009, which started with brownish spotting at around 5wks and unfortunately, my hcg levels were increasing, but not doubling -- the hospital thought it was an ectopic and I was scanned numerous times, and even by wk 7, was being told 'everything was fine', but the brown turned to red and then clots and then tissue, and severe/strong cramps and my uterus contracting, etc. and I knew it was a mc (I was about 7-8wks). I had a final scan which confirmed that everything had cleared. My pregnancy symptoms lasted a few more weeks, which was so cruel....

I had two possible chemicals with spotting, clots and strong cramps.

Two years later, I got pregnant again and had spotting at 7-8wks and a gush of red at 9 wks and figured it was yet another mc. The baby had other ideas, and I am so looking forward to meeting him in mid- to late- February.

I understand your need to have the facts only and there is an excellent book, called: 'Miscarriage - What Every Woman Needs to Know' which is NOT touchy-feely, but gives good, scientific information about the process, how people react and trying again (even if you aren't).... and also, Miscarriage: Women's Experiences and Needs published by Routledge, which is somewhat more 'academic' as well....

best wishes

 

[goingabitmad]

thank you, ladies. It's really helpful to compare experiences. I will get that book!

Tearful night last night and too many dreams. Not sure what to do today to keep busy. Or the rest of the week until my appointment.