Advice needed...Please help

[hopeful4bfp]

First off I would just like to say that I'm sorry for all yalls loss, I couldn't imagine what y'all are going through....

My problem is that I have a Facebook friend that got pregnant just a couple weeks after me and we have bonded over our pregnancy. Well when she went in for her gender scan at 20 weeks she found out she had lost her little boy and my heart broke for her but know I don't know what to say to her and I have been trying to be consciencious about what i post as not to upset her but at the same time I want to share my pregnancy like today my ticker says I have 100 days to go and normally I would post it on fb but I feel like its shoving it in her face...

What do you think I should do.... should I continue to sensor my post or should I just go on like before and hope she understands?

 

[sharan]

I have a close friend who is due 10 days after what was my angel's due date. She did continue to post on FB her pregnancy updates which to be honest didn't upset at the time. I was and am genuinely happy for her. Unfortunately I was the 2nd one within our close circle of friends who had lost their baby at a late stage in the pregnancy. So more than anything I am happy to see all is well with her.

However now as my due date approaches as does her's, it kills me to read her updates. Only because I know I would have been experiencing the same things also. I don't begrudge her for it at all as I know it is a mean to update everyone on her progress and saves her replying to everyone's requests for updates. I just choose now to avoid her status updates until the time I feel comfortable with it.

I don't want her to feel she has suppress her happiness because of me because she has every right to be happy.

This is just how I feel about pregnancy updates. I'm unsure how other people would feel about it.

 

[paigeypoo]

i think its nice of you to be cautious about what you post, part of her may feel resentment not necessarily towards you...but im sure that she is still happy for you, so dont leave her out.

i lost my son in September 2011 and my bestfriend descovered she was pg in Jan 2012-due Sept 2012. it was difficult at the time but i soon found out i was pg again, and now have had a wonderful baby boy just last month.

just please dont ever say to her 'oh you can try again' when my dr told me that at first i could have punched him...
best wishes to your friend, i hope she; like i; can find comfort in the time she had with her baby while he was within.

 

[Hellylou]

It's nice of you to think about that side of things. Seeing pregnancy updates from others are likely to be very upsetting for someone who has experienced a loss like this, especially in the early weeks and months afterwards. I found it quite difficult to see pregnant women and babies at first, but it got easier, and I was blessed to have become pg with my rainbow 3 months after my loss.

That said, I never wanted to deny anyone else the joy of celebrating and sharing their pregnancy and babies with the world because of my own sad experience. I just tried to stay away from it until I felt stronger. You may find that your friend might decide to hide your updates for a while as she grieves. It doesn't mean you shouldn't post them.

As for what to say, the only thing you can say is how very sorry you are to hear about her loss, and offer to be there if she needs you.