Advice needed please

[liverpoolbaby]

My OH thinks it is okay to go out galavanting every weekend with the lads getting p*ssed and going home at 6am!!! , which I find totally unacceptable!!

all his mates have gf's too but they don't in my opinion and my oh's treat them the best and pretend they don't have one when they are out and none of them have any children or babies.

Am I wrong??

He said what's wrong with that? are you going to try and stop me going out when the babies here too??

I feel he is being Absolutly selfish. Yes he can go out and see his friends I haven't a problem with that at all go out once a month maybe.
But right now why should I be the one making all the sacrifices, not eating the foods I enjoy, not smoking, drinking or partying with my friends but he can carry on as normal or until the baby arrives??!
I don't think so!!!

I am livid!!!! I've told him what I think he needs to start growing up and acting responsibily the baby might not be here in sight but it is here inside of me!!

this pregnancy wasn't planned it was a shock to us both I was on the pill, it was only because the clairvoyant had told me I was pregnant is how I actually found out later that month with a test and missing period.

anyone else think I am being wrong?

All advice and opinions welcome.. xx

 

[shirlls]

that must be difficult to deal with especially at the moment.

You need to sit him down and talk to him straight, tell him you are not putting up with this and make sure you say to him that you aren't trying to get in the way of his time with his mates (this can be a touchy subject with men and their mates) but it isn't very fair on you. When the baby arrives I hope he is going to be at home a bit more as he needs to grow up and realise life isn't one long party, especially when you have a baby to look after.

Good luck, I hope you get it sorted out.

x

 

[Tattybear2706]

I'm sorry your partner is being such a selfish ass!! I would sit him down and under no uncertain terms tell him to grow up and pregnancy should be shared! Also tell him how bloody lucky he is to be having a baby!! Some people spend years struggling!
I hope you can get it sorted love xx

 

[_jellybean_]

I wouldn't be okay at all with that. Not really sure what advice to give because I couldn't picture myself being with someone who went out all the time. He should be putting you first.

 

[Canadianmom4]

I agree with the previous poster, I wouldn't tolerate it. Have a chat with him. This is a special time for both of you.

 

[liverpoolbaby]

Thank you for all the replies.

Hopefully since I went crazy hormonal mad at him he might have got the hint, it is not a good time to take the p*ss anymore.. even though a part of me thinks that he will.

He said I need to back off and relax and calm down

I don't think I need to personally because like some of you said this is meant to be a happy time for us both.

This week has been nice so far... laughs giggles no arguments YET.

I am working again 13hr shifts this Friday and Saturday he is off again also, its just a matter of wait and see.. but then again his mates are away on holiday so he'll have no1 to go out with anyway lol but I know he will use that as "see! I haven't gone out this weekend" like I am daft

1st Antenatal appointment tomorrow!

 

[MamaLa]

I knoww exactly how you feel. Since I found out I stopped going out with friends. I really Only hang out with my family and of course my boyfriend. But he wants to spend time with his friends, and get drunk when he wants to live a party life from time to time. But sometimes I wish he was just stay in with me and watch a good movie, or just lay around and relax. sometimes I do get jealous that he can go out and do whatever he wants why I have to live my life for this baby. But then I realize that if I want to go to a party, I can, if I want to hang out with friends i can. Just no liquor for me.

 

[liverpoolbaby]

Well he's made no plans to party hard this weekend instead he is spending then nights with me when I finish work (probably because everyone is in on holiday)

I am not a bossy gf at all never have been, I just think he needs to start calming down a bit now and be more responsible and support me a little more.

Thanks girls

 

[messica]

Just a bit of perspective......but the way I see it, if it was an unplanned pregnancy, you both are entitled to proceed with life however you want to. If you want to continue the pregnancy and settle down in life that's certainly your prerogative, but you can't and shouldn't force him to do the same.

If he wants to, and feels that pull to slow down, great. But if he doesn't, going off the rails on him telling him he has to completely change the ways about him that you were just fine with before - probably isn't going to get you anywhere.


I'd sit down with him and ask him what his intentions are. Does he plan to stay with you? Does he plan to raise the baby with you? And if so, does he understand there are a few things about your lifestyles that you'd prefer to change with a little one in the mix now?

You can hope, but not really just expect him to magically morph into someone he hasn't been thus far kwim? Your anger, frustration and attempt to force an evolution is likely just going to end up driving him away.



Tattybear - I think it's really unfair to throw at him that many couples struggle to have a child. He may have never wanted children, or didn't want them now knowing he wasn't ready or wanting to grow up yet. There's nothing wrong with that imo.

 

[cookette]

Just a bit of perspective......but the way I see it, if it was an unplanned pregnancy, you both are entitled to proceed with life however you want to. If you want to continue the pregnancy and settle down in life that's certainly your prerogative, but you can't and shouldn't force him to do the same.

If he wants to, and feels that pull to slow down, great. But if he doesn't, going off the rails on him telling him he has to completely change the ways about him that you were just fine with before - probably isn't going to get you anywhere.


I'd sit down with him and ask him what his intentions are. Does he plan to stay with you? Does he plan to raise the baby with you? And if so, does he understand there are a few things about your lifestyles that you'd prefer to change with a little one in the mix now?

You can hope, but not really just expect him to magically morph into someone he hasn't been thus far kwim? Your anger, frustration and attempt to force an evolution is likely just going to end up driving him away.



Tattybear - I think it's really unfair to throw at him that many couples struggle to have a child. He may have never wanted children, or didn't want them now knowing he wasn't ready or wanting to grow up yet. There's nothing wrong with that imo.

Once again, I wholeheartedly agree with messica.

 

[liverpoolbaby]

Well I did say all opinions are welcome

I mightn't have made it that clear, but my boyfriend does want to have the baby and is over the moon and so excited and wants this 100%.. so nothing is forced on him at all and even if he felt the opposite the last thing I would do is force anything onto him!

I haven't gone off the rails at him I have been completely calm and kept my thoughts to myself I don't want to have arguments and stressing the baby out at this early stage.

I know his intentions and they lie 100% with me and our new little becoming family.

Me working 13 hour shifts 14days straight and finding out were expecting I thought he could be there for me a little more than going to get drunk with his friends and spent a bit of time with me. My hormones have been all over the place and I've felt very lonely and upset and felt I could come on here to get it off my chest.

They say every pregnancy is different and every woman. And so is every relationship too. I wont be driving my bf away at all we are stronger than that.