Advice needed!

[HHBbabies]

Ok so I am 5 weeks and 5 days pregnant with my first baby and SUPER happy! I am waiting to finish the first trimester before telling too many people because I have a sister with a history of miscarriages and I would just feel better if I were out of the woods a little. That being said I told a close friend(I needed to talk to a woman!!)who has been ttc and she said "Your lying..." in a very flat one before confirming that I was telling the truth and then telling me she had to to go after giving me 4-5 minutes of flat conversation(she is usually animated x's 100!). She never called back and now I am left feeling weird. Have any of you had someone you are close to who has been ttc not been happy for you when you gave them the good news of your blessing? This has me a little worried as to how my sister who has been ttc for over 4 years will take this news... Any thoughts ladies?!?!? Help...

 

[luckybreak]

I am sorry to say but this will happen when we told my OH sister who has been trying to conceive forever, she cried the whole time! it was so awkward she was in tears saying I am really happy for you all but then sobbing loud on the phone....yikes! this is not your fault, they should be happy for you but I have been on the other side TTC and m/C and then TTC again and sometimes it is hard for us to hide our sadness but you should be able to be happy to share the news! Good luck with your sis

 

[smileygurl85]

That is such a tough situation! I have a number of friends who have been married longer than me and actively ttc - while I spent a number of years on birth-control for personal reasons. I also have a very close friend who is divorced without any prospects at the moment and I know she is desperate to be married and have a baby.

Of course it's up to me to break the news in an appropriate way and to not become a 'self obsessed, baby-obsessed person' - I've had that happen to me a few too many times while I was on the pill and it's highly unpleasant.

I'm hoping that they can find it in their hearts to be happy for me regardless of where they are holding in their lives.

 

[ellebelle]

Well, she was not ttc, but my one best friend was really critical of me when I told her my good news, it really bummed me out. Like, come on!

As for your sister? I don't know, the best you can do is not be super in her face bouncing off the walls happy about it, but I don't think you would be like that to her anyway, at least until you gauge her response.
You know, this is good news for you and it's not a bad thing that it happened to you before her. I mean it must be discouraging for her that she's been trying so long but you will be understanding if she is upset. Ultimately I'm sure she'll be happy for you regardless.

 

[HHBbabies]

Thanks Lucy, Gurl, and Belle! I feel a lot better! I am going to wait a while to tell my family. My mother and aunt know but they understand my reasons for keeping the pregnancy hush hush at this point since I am only at 6 weeks and this is my first baby. I was thinking of waiting until I am SHOWING to let the cat out of the bag... Not sure if that is wise or will hurt a lot of feelings but after my first experience I want to just keep the baby, hubby and I happy and free of hurt feelings. Thanks again ladies!!

 

[HHBbabies]

Sunday I was in a car accident(not major)but thank God I had a TVS already scheduled for that Tuesday! All was well with the baby and I pray all stays that way. My friend called me today oddly enough and did not bring up the baby or her behavior when I told her my news. When I told her about the acident while we were catching up she did not ask if my husband or myself OR the baby were ok. She instead said "WHAT!" and then asked me to hold for a minute then changed the subject to an item she was looking at while food shopping and then said "I'm sorry, finish your story.". I told her I was about to start driving and would talk to her later. I wonder when I will decide later is...

 

[gigglesems]

This happened to me - my friend did later apologise for the way she had reacted but i then ended up a little upset with her. After me telling her and asking her to keep it strictly between us - she got so upset that she told someone else in our office (someone who didnt like me and then told everyone else)! I felt so let down - I fully understand her upset as she too was TTC but her reaction turned out to be more along the lines that I 'had won the race'. I would like to think if the show had been on the other foot i would have been beaming for her! But hormones play funny tricks on us poor ladies so whose to say I wouldnt have got upset! I am sure given time she will realise her mistake and will be over the moon for you! xxx

 

[fizzypop]

I don't think we can underestimate the pain you feel when ttc and a friend tells you they're pregnant. I was told I couldn't have children and within that month my two closest friends got pregnant by 'accident'. 10 years later I am told I might be ok to conceive so begin ttc and my best friend gets pregnant in her first month. It is soul destroying and heart breaking but it is not fair to put a downer on someone's pregnancy. You put on the forced squeals and excitement and claim you're delighted for them. Only THEN do you take yourself off somewhere quiet and wail like a banshee with grief and sorrow for yourself.

Anyway.. My point is that it is hard on your friend, but as long as you treat it with sensitivity she shouldn't rain on your parade.

I hope things settle down soon xx

 

[Jodie13]

I have the opposite story. DH and I had been trying for over 7 years when we finally got our BFP last month. As happy as I am for all my friends and family who had babies in that time period, it broke my heart a little every time. It's SO hard, and people handle it differently. In my case, I slapped on a smile for them and then game home and cried my eyes out to my husband. Of course, I didn't expect people to put thier families and futures on hold until I had mine, but it's just an irrational emotion you get sometimes. The week after I got my BFP, my BFF got one too. Except her's was a complete shock. She and her husband had decided over 9 years ago that they didn't want any more kids. I am thrilled to death for her, and thrilled that we can do this together. But I'll be honest, in the back of my mind I was SO upset that it was so easy for her to get pregnant. She was even on BCP.

I'm sure your friend just needs time to sort it all out. She'll come around, just be supportive and please don't be upset with her. I can't explain what she's going through, but I know how it feels. I hope she does end up being there for you. Please, please don't feel guilty for your miracle!

 

[daviess3]

Hi ladies just thought I would throw in my opinion, I have been ttc for 3 years an have had 4 mc!! I have had people obviously have 1,2 children in the time an I'm still here hAving investigations I would have been due last week with my 3rd mc!! Never do you forget! An I no 2 people who were due at the same time ones had a lil girl other ones not come yet!

I am happy for everyone who can conceive but it's so so hard to question why can't j conceive naturally why can everyone else when one of my best friends told my she was pg an wasn't even trying, I just wanted to shake her an say bloody lie to me an say u have been trying!!

Another best friend told me 2 days ago she's pg 7 weeks an she told me as her symptoms have disappeared, she hasn't even told her mum! This made me feel important an useful an that I can help her rather than normal when I get told sum1s pg they tip Toe around me! There is def no nice way to tell ur sister but if I was you I would try an Involve her tell her you have been tryi g etc an ur pg an let her b part of it with u! Trust me it makes a difference I was there when my 1St nephew was born an we have a fab bond! Good luck an she's lucky that u have taken time to consider her feelings xx

 

[HHBbabies]

Thank You guys for the input. I got overwhelmed and deleted her phone number today! I could not stop thinking about all of the things I have done for her and never wanted anything in return... I also went on facebook and deleted her as a friend. I know it seems a little harsh but I feel like after getting this girl 3 jobs in this wrecked economy that she got herself fired from ALL OF THEM, hiding her affair when she cheated on her husband, being happy for her when she thought she was pregnant(she never even took a pregnancy test and called me and told me she was pregnant)even though she wasnt sure if it was her husbands or boyfriends, and being always being a shoulder for her to cry on even when she doesnt call me for months after I have made her feel better, I think this was the straw that broke the camels back. I am thinking of calling my big sis and telling her tomorrow. I love her and I really feel like I need her right now. I dont want to hurt her so I will be gentle when I break the news. Thanks again ladies for all of the support! By the way I am only 8 weeks today when should I tell the rest of my family?!

 

[miayahsmommy]

This has happened to me before but then my sister got pregnant and we gained our relationship back. Its just a why me thing. Like why can you give everyone else a baby but me....