Advice on destressing

[3011busyyear]

Just after some advice. I'm struggling to sleep after LO's night feed and it's taking it's toll, especially now it's still dark when she wakes OH just can't settle LO no matter how he tries.
I'm constantly thinking ahead and planning the next feed, next trip out, LO's naps, timings of everything and can't switch off.
There isn't anyome we feel like we can leave LO with for any lengthof time but hubby has invited his mum to sit in whilst LO is asleep tonight whhilst we go for something to eat. Although this is lovely i feel stressed that we have to get the house tidy before she comes, get her bed made for her, make sure we have food in for dinner, i'll be coming back from my mini job just in time for LO's bedtime then i have to rush to get ready and go out, where i will be feeling knackered and not in the mood no doubt.

Any advice on how to switch off/relax? Would calms or sleepong tablets help or would they make getting up with lO even harder?

 

[k4th]

Lists help me. I write down everything I have to do & then I don't feel like I have to go over it again & again in my head iykwim?

I also stop drinking caffeine at 5pm so there's none left in my system by night-time. I've never taken calms etc so can't help there. I did take the occasional sleeping tablet a long time before having lo, & one night DH woke up with horrendous toothache (actually an abcess he had exploded in the night I think). He was in a real state & I just couldn't function! I was totally useless!! Not sure I'd take them with a LO to listen out for.

It might help if you OH took a little time to help out too? You say he invited his Mum over - why hasn't he made her bed while you've been settling lo sometime?

Write HIM a list

Really hope you can destress soon!

 

[emmybee]

Hi know how you feel, I'm also having problems with this but also cos I'm facing redundancy and still feel lilke I'm at work.

Anyway, agree with points made by k4th i would also advise the same. I have a note book to write down list of what I need to do for the day which I go through and cross off. Yes, I know it's the same list everyday but I put down whatever is bugging me and swimming in my head to do.

Caffeine is a real problem with me in tea!!! Forget coffee I never have it if I did I would be jumping round for a couple of hours and then soo drained and unable to sleep. So yes do not have fizzy drinks with caffeine no coffee, and limit your teas. None if possible or 2 a day with the last cup by 4pm

Don't think sleeping pills are a long term solution only temporary so personally I dont think there is any point of them myself.

Get OH to help you out. Can he not do just the night feed. Even if you do BF. Can't LO have nightfeed by bottle either pumped or formula. Therefore he is settling LO by a feed. Or maybe give pointers to OH how to calm LO down. It may take couple of attempts to do this. So in essence by LO bedtime- OH takes over while you unwind and do something else that relaxes you....read a book, a magazine etc just let OH deal with LO and then you take over again in the morning?

If this is not feasible can you go over to your mums, sisters someone other then inlaw who can help you out for a bit whilst you catch up on your sleep and refreshed even if it is only for a few days.

HTH

 

[captainj1]

I have this problem too, at the moment LO is waking around 5 times a night as he is cutting his molars, I also work full time and so does DH. DH does his fair share but I always wake when LO does and stay awake until long after DH is back in bed and fast asleep again.

I am a walking zombie. I reversed my car into a van this morning after dropping LO at nursery as I am just so tired. Parking sensors were telling me to stop reversing and everything. I just wasn't thinking straight.

We try to have my MIL and FIL over once a week and they take the monitor and get up in the night for LO. Unfortunately though, LO is crying so loud at the moment I still hear him and wake and can't sleep until he quietens.

 

[k4th]

I have this problem too, at the moment LO is waking around 5 times a night as he is cutting his molars, I also work full time and so does DH. DH does his fair share but I always wake when LO does and stay awake until long after DH is back in bed and fast asleep again.

I am a walking zombie. I reversed my car into a van this morning after dropping LO at nursery as I am just so tired. Parking sensors were telling me to stop reversing and everything. I just wasn't thinking straight.

We try to have my MIL and FIL over once a week and they take the monitor and get up in the night for LO. Unfortunately though, LO is crying so loud at the moment I still hear him and wake and can't sleep until he quietens.

Eek!! hope you're ok

 

[hattiehippo]

I had this problem really badly when Tom was little - it would take me hours to go back to sleep after feeding him while DH would be snoring away in 3 seconds.

Writing lists definately helps so you're not trying to hold everything it your head, cut the caffeine but also try to stop stressing about being awake. I went through a stage of lying in bed telling myself that if didn't matter if I didn't sleep, I could just lie there and enjoy being warm and snuggly until it was time to get up for the next feed. Every single time I managed to chill out and not worry about it I would fall asleep within seconds.

 

[emmybee]

Ohhh.....I also forgot wasn't a fan of ovaltine but for some reason after I had LO, I loved it and craved it. It calmed me down too or a mug of Cadburys hot chocolate...Ahhhh

 

[LadyHutch]

if you have a smart phone, use the calendar in it to help you schedule things. I also endorse creating lists. I am a list maker.

I also try to keep myself on a schedule for everytihng I have to do during the day as well as doing things throughout the day like preparing baby's room for the night (getting bottles ready in case I need them, changing linens, making sure there are plenty of diapers, etc).

If you aren't sleeping at all, talk to a doctor. There was a post the other day by HungryHippo about PPI - post partum insomnia. It does happen.

 

[HungryHippo]

I stopped caffeine at Noon and put myself on a bedtime routine. I take a bath and read a trashy romance novel (eek!). Anything that will help you relax. My DH leaves a hand on me while I fall asleep. If I wake up - I won't get out of bed. I also picked up some Melatonin and take 1.5 mg a few hours before bed. Don't wait to talk to your HV about insomnia...I ran a red light through a really busy intersection and could have seriously hurt myself or someone else. There are sleeping pills you can take where you can still get up and function with LO. If it's any consolation, at some point your exhaustion will catch up with you and you'll sleep.

 

[LadyHutch]

Ooh -- I have also discovered the wonders of having the lovely lady at the laundrymat wash and fold for me. I drop off, she washes and folds, calls me to pick up and done. One less stress in my day for sure.