advice on money/work & how to kill fob and get away with it??!

[LeoTheLion]

Hiya, stressing out here. Fob is a ass. He has son on a sun when im working well today i asked him to have son a hour earlier as had something to do which he said no to then 1/2 hour befor i was due to go to work he bailed on me & with noone else to ask i had to call in work to say i couldnt make it .. I have now come to the decision that i need to be a single mum, find work where i dont need to rely on anyone else & can put son in nursery.
So im thinking of going college and doing child care so i can get a proper reliable job.
Fob doesnt pay anything towards son as he still doesnt have a job which means i will have to rely on housing ben & income support (i have contributed enough) but am worried i will not manage.
Anyone in this situation?? Xx

 

[Jade--x]

I'm going back to college in a few weeks and have the exact same worries - There's no financial help for me at all I get £90 a term towards petrol to travel but it will cost me about that a week (its in a different county and I have to travel an hour there and back everyday as its the only college near me that does my course) and they'll pay a percentage of my childcare costs (they still don't know how much yet!) - So my expenses will be a lot more. The only good thing for me is my Mum is able to look after my LO's while I'm there. I don't get any maintainance towards my children either. Sorry I've no real help but I'm in the same boat.x

 

[teal]

So selfish that he done that. Good luck with going to college xx

 

[fl00b]

i'm going to college in september to study childcare too bit worried about the costs though... luckily my mom's agreed to have LO whilst i'm there so i don't have to fork out for childcare costs. FOB doesn't pay a penny towards Finley either so money's definitely a big factor for us at the moment too!
my biggest worry is keeping up with the coursework... when i was at 6th form i struggled to keep up, and that was without a baby!
hope everything goes well for you - you're doing the right thing by going to college to provide your child with a stable future!

 

[Laura2919]

cos the title of this had me laughing out loud!

Hope it all works out for you hun. It can be hard but you can use the Income Support until you can get back on your feet xx

 

[resursval]

So jealous of you. UK grandmoms seem more childfriendly than the ones in Sweden...

 

[jenfirstbaby]

If ur single you should apply for income support, tax credits etc? If you haven't already. I called both yesterday and am entitled to both. They said tax credits would be about 90 a week, that's loads!

Also, if fob isn't contributing then id stop contact! Either that or go to the CSA, they will get the money for you! Xx

 

[linley]

I'm in a similar boat to you too, I'm hoping to go to college next year but I'm gonna work as much as I can until then so I have some savings behind me. FOB is extremely unreliable, cannot trust him as far as I'd like to throw him sometimes and although we have an arrangement where he'll have LO while I go back to work in Sep, his recent behaviour leads me to believe that won't happen. I have to keep reminding him that while he's not working, I have to work extra hard to make up for what he's NOT providing. I don't mean it as a guilt trip but it seems to have that effect.

Maybe try going to citizens advice and just find out what you're entitled to, get a list of everything from benefits to bursaries to grants, anything and just apply for the lot. Maybe look into jobs with a creche (sp?) or that provide childcare vouchers, anything to keep your costs down.

Good luck, hope it all works out for you