Advice on son and a new baby please.

[tkeith8109]

So we have 2 amazing kids 6 and 4. We are wanting another some time in the next year which will put our son (now 4) at 5 or 6. Our son has a speech delay, which he is getting therapy for. With this delay he has issues with understanding certain cognitive things like following directions. My fear is that even though he is doing so much better than last year and keeps progressing, that having a baby around will make him feel inadequate or that we can't spend the right amouny of time with him that he needs. He is a huge mommys boy and I would hate knowing that because we wanted another child that it messes him up some how. Anyone else feel this way or has been in this situation? Can you tell me what your experiences were. Should we wait until he is 6 or 7 to have another or will he be ok?

 

[Kitteh_Kat]

Our 3 year old has a significant speech delay and had no problem adjusting to having a younger sibling around. (She is also a huge Mommy's Girl and is very attached to me) She adores being a big sibling! I just try to give her as much attention as I can, especially after the baby goes down for the night. I think each child adjusts to the change of a new sibling differently, but it might not even be a problem in the end. Especially if you prep him and explain things during the pregnancy and get him involved with the baby. Good luck!

 

[tkeith8109]

Thank you so much. I know that it sounds ridiculous,but i just worry I will mess him up. However, he loves other kids and even says he wants a baby brother so they can play cars. I want more than anything to have happy kids that get along and would really hate if that wasn't the end result.

 

[Kitteh_Kat]

It's not silly, definitely a valid concern! It's hard enough when you have children without delays/health problems. If he loves other kids though then he's like DD, and she was super excited to finally have a permanent playmate come home. I bet if you ask the people at his therapy place they'll probably have some suggestions on how to make everything work without him feeling neglected based on their experience/educational backgrounds.

 

[tkeith8109]

Thank you. The more I thought about it and talked about it with DH I realized that he will be fine. He is a typical hyper 4 yr old boy and has "grown up" so much in the past yr. I can only imaginr where he will be at next yr. My husband isn't concerned at all. Plus we won't be trying for another 6 months or so then we have to get pregnant and wait 9 months, so by then everything should be fine.....this having a baby stuff is a little stressful!

 

[Talia12]

My son (3) also has a severe speech delay and some cognitive development issues. I am going ahead with TTC because I feel it's right for us, he loves babies anyway. I will still give him everything he needs - I'm glad the gap will be fairly large though as he does need some extra support