Advice/Opinions Please

[LockandKey]

Ok first off sorry for the long rant but here is my deal, I am not pregnant yet, although DH and I were planning to ttc again this coming December. While I am very excited, I have one thing pressing on my mind, the birth. Delivery of my first child went HORRIBLE. To sum it up, she got stuck twice! I had to get an episiotomy as her head got stuck, vaccum and forceps, which tore me up even more. Her shoulders got stuck so the doctors broke her collar bone to get her out, then I had a newborn with bruises and a broken collar bone. That ticked me off, followed by 4 weeks of bf troubles and 5 months od physical therapy for her as a result of the difficult delivery. They did all that because her heart rate was dropping as I was pushing. She was 8lbs 6oz, about average, but mind you I am a tiny person, only 115lbs and 5'2.

As I'm sure you can all guess, those are all things I would not like to repeat a 2nd time. I want to do an all natural, unassisted, intervention free birth more than anything, but I have heard that 2nd babies are usually bigger I'm scared by the thought of all this so much that part of me feels I should just opt for an elective c section, but I know I would be upset with myself if I didn't give it another go. On the other hand, I don't want to put myself and my newboen baby through that hell again. Right now the only hope I have to keep me still considering to go all natural is that I've heard birth with 2nd can be easier and quicker, and I have a chance of growing a smaller baby that would be easier for me to birth if I did exercises everyday, eat super healthy, and stay away from junk food, sugars, and sodas. I know its still wayyy off for me to even be thinking this, but I can't help it what would you do if you were in my shoes? And please try to be understanding of my situation

 

[happyface82]

I'm sorry you went through all this.

I have to be honest with you, my first reaction reading this was: go for the elective c section. On the other hand I completely understand your wish to have a natural birth experience. Is there any way you could have a scan near the end to get an estimate of how big the baby is and decide then? If you do what you say, try to eat healthily etc. then maybe it's worth a shot? Though I know they don't get it very accurately sometimes but its the only thing i can think off.

 

[LockandKey]

Thank you for your honesty, I appreciate it. It is something I will keep in mind. I will be completley honest here, when I was pregnant with dd I didn't exactly eat healthy. I ate a lot of junk food, gave into my cravings a lot, and although I only gained 32lbs, about average or recommended weight gain, I still gained more than I would have liked to. I learned from my mistakes since then and will hopefully have a better outcome when I put my special diet into action. I hope that works. I will definitely be asking for another scan in the last few weeks and hope my hard work had grew me a smaller baby. If I'm still looking rather large then perhaps it would be in my best interest to get a c section. still saddened by the idea, but luckily its not for a while and can still enjoy a bit of chocolate here or there before I cut myself off completly

 

[solitaire89]

These sorts of complications can often be avoided by moving around during labour. There are lots of things that you can do to help avoid this situation again. I have a meeting to go to now, but I'll try to dig out some info for you later

 

[LockandKey]

ok, thank you, id love to see what you find

 

[MollyWeasley]

I'm so sorry to hear about your previous birth experience. It sounds like it was really traumatic for both of you.

If you were pushing on your back or in a semi-sitting/reclined position as is typical in hospital, your pelvic opening is reduced by 28% or more. I've seen it quoted as high as 40% in some sources.

So the supine/lithomy position (on your back), the most common birthing position in hospital reduces the opening of your pelvis by 28-40%!!! Imagine how much easier it would be to get that baby out if you had all that extra space.

Here's an article to read: https://www.scienceandsensibility.org/?tag=why-to-avoid-giving-birth-on-your-back

Some highlights:

“Radiological evidence demonstrates an increase of 1cm in the transverse diameter and 2cm in the anteroposterior diameter of the pelvic outlet when the squatting position is adopted. This produces a 28% increase in the overall area of the outlet when comparing the supine with the squatting position, resulting in obvious benefit to the progress and ease of delivery."

“Horizontal position increases the need for episiotomy because of the disproportionate tension on the pelvic floor ”

“The supine position is contrary to the laws of gravity and bad for the baby due to compression of the maternal vena cava and reduced blood flow to the placenta. Side lying with one leg raised can reduce strain on the perineum….Hands and knees is particularly good for mothers with big babies…. Squatting or standing allows the mother to see what is going on and touch or lift the baby as it is being born….”

A midwife, especially a home birth midwife will be supportive of movement during labour and trying out various positions during the pushing phase. Discuss your previous birth and your concerns with an experienced midwife. I'm confident she will tell you that you can birth a baby that size or larger even. Remember that late ultrasounds are extremely inaccurate in estimating weight of baby (+/-1 lb. typically).

Do some reading, or watch some videos of Ina May Gaskin. It's really interesting stuff.

 

[solitaire89]

Thanks @MollyWeasley - you beat me to it! I'll still look to see what I've got at home, just in case it's not repeats of your very thorough research.

 

[happyface82]

This is so interesting!!! Will need to do some research when I'm pregnant again!

 

[LockandKey]

Yes, I agree, very interesting. I will deffinitley pay more attention to detail before and during the birth the 2nd time around, not let them push me around, I will speak up more, and make sure to get a midwife the next time too. I had asked my hospital to put me on the midwife program, but they had failed to do so. Luckily I am miles awau from that hospital and won't be going back either

 

[madasa]

If you have an ELCS, will you always wonder how it would have gone if you'd have given a normal birth a try?

If you try for a normal birth and it doesn't seem to be going well, you can go for a CS and know that you gave it a try. You'd need to discuss this in depth with your HCPs beforehand so you know how your care would be handled.

It's likely not the size of your baby that caused the problems, but their position, your position, whether you have any medication, how much you are able to move around, whether or not you are induced, whether you coached to push or doing it intuitively.... You only have a tiny amount of influence over how big your baby will grow, but you have a lot more influence over the other factors

Here are some links for you

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6Mdybg4r13I

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=roFVkDV45MM

https://birthbliss.wordpress.com/2010/01/12/giving-birth-like-primal-peoples-pygmy-birth/

Excerpt from ^ ^ ^ : "Hallet described Pygmy labor as being very short, natural, and easy, even for a first-time mother. And this is in spite of the fact that Pygmy babies are, proportionally, the biggest babies in the world. For example an 80-pound Pygmy mother typically gives birth to an eight-pound baby, about one-tenth of her body weight. This would compare to a 130-pound woman birthing a 13-pound baby."

Good luck. Your body is amazing and you are much stronger than you think

 

[LockandKey]

thank you so much Madasa, and all the ladies for your wonderful and supportive responses

 

[aliss]

LockAndKey,

I went through a nearly identical 1st labour - right down to the episiotomy, dystocia and collarbone break. A horrible experience. I'll let you know how mine goes (Oct 29). You might want to look for Tacey's recent home birth story that involves resolving a dystocia too.

In YOUR shoes, I chose the home birth. I really feel the interventions (improper AROM, pitocin for days, epidural, etc) impacted the labour.

But having been through what you have, I can totally understand choosing the opposite (C-section), I swore I would do it until the time came and I'm going with my heart that says home birth. Go with your instincts.

 

[LockandKey]

good luck I hope things go much better for you this time and that you get the birth you want