Advice please.....my sister

[Kayley]

Ok so my sister is doing us a HUGE favour by having Megan for us 3 days a week whilst me and OH have to work full time
I really appreciate the help she has offered us and I don't think we could do without her at the mo. We can't afford to pay for more childcare.

However, everytime we pick Megan up, her house is a s***hole! I'm not just saying a few things here and there, it is a complete mess, sanitry towel wrappers on the floor, ashtrays and old plates and dishes laying around, litter everywhere - the place is gross!

Megans toys came back STINKING of smoke and we had to wash them, OH said when he picked Megan up today she had no socks on and had freezing feet and her elephant toy was resting on top with its leg in the ashtray which was full of ash!

We have left her buggy round there and we are really worried it is going to come back stinking of smoke tomorrow, we are off on holiday next week so its not going to be easy to get the smell out.

I did say to my sister last night that Megans toys stunk of smoke, but I can't STOP my sister smoking from in her own house and all she said was 'oh sorry'

What would you do!?

 

[Odd Socks]

honestly, i couldn't leave bella with someone who was smoking around her. i'd be fine if the person looking after her smoked outside, but i wouldn't want her inside with someone smoking inside.

are you sure you're better off working full time? have you looked at what you'd receive with working tax credits if you worked fewer days but still kept your alternative childcare arrangements?

xx

 

[MajorBee]

That's a tough one. Ideally I wouldn't want my LO in a smokey, unclean environment but i understand it can be difficult financially to arrange something else. And im not sure people are likely to change their habits in their own home. My gut feeling is you either need to find alternative childcare and take the financial hit, or accept the state of your sisters place. Can you find an alternative for some of the time? Or rearrange work hours to help?

 

[Kayley]

I have to work full time because they denied my application for part-time working! They point blank refused it!

I know my sister doesn't smoke AROUND Megan in her home, she smokes outside, but her place still smells of smoke because she smokes in her home at night and when Megan isn't there.

My OH's mum is giving up work in the new year and is going to have Megan most of the time for us, but until then do I just have to put up with it?

 

[tina3747]

That's a tough one. Ideally I wouldn't want my LO in a smokey, unclean environment but i understand it can be difficult financially to arrange something else. And im not sure people are likely to change their habits in their own home. My gut feeling is you either need to find alternative childcare and take the financial hit, or accept the state of your sisters place. Can you find an alternative for some of the time? Or rearrange work hours to help?

Wss^^

If you have the luxury of free/cheap childcare you need to accept how they give it I suppose. You don't have the right to tell people to clean their house ect so you may need to put up with it till you sort an alternative.

What a horrid situation for you though, I give my LO to my MIL and some things wind me up a treat but I just grit my teeth and let her get on with things.
Maybe you can point things out in a roundabout way, kind of jokey but nit direct?!

 

[kerrie24]

I wouldnt really be concerned if the place is a mess but smoking would be a no-no for me.You said she did it outside but if its sufficient amount to make the baby and her buggy stink,its too much.
You could say that the doctor/hv smelt it on her and told you nobody should be smoking around her.My gran thinks if she sits beside a window and smokes its fine,ive told her it just blows back into the room but some people dont see the harm till you point it out to them.

 

[tina3747]

I wouldnt really be concerned if the place is a mess but smoking would be a no-no for me.You said she did it outside but if its sufficient amount to make the baby and her buggy stink,its too much.
You could say that the doctor/hv smelt it on her and told you nobody should be smoking around her.My gran thinks if she sits beside a window and smokes its fine,ive told her it just blows back into the room but some people dont see the harm till you point it out to them.

What annoys me to the point of madness is when you see people smoking in a car with kids in the back. That and kids not in car seats are my biggest parenting rage. How they think opening a window 3 inches is enough to keep smoke out is bewildering to me. Those 2 things I really get wound up over.