advice please on a 3yr old who bullies her brother

[welshsarah]

Im getting a bit down as my daughter who just turned 3 is really nasty to her baby brother 1. She shouts at him wont share her toys, and takes his toys and wont let him play with them. I have tried a lot of things. And getting really stressed out each day. Iv tried explaining hes the little brother and we got to be nice and look out for him as he isnt big like her and needs to learn to share and we need to teach him. If i go out of the room a second, i can hear her shouting 'no, get away' at him. and hes just trying to play with her. My daughter does have a lot of one to one with me so shes not seeking attention in that respect and she is really caring in other ways towards him. she just likes to boss around a lot any advice please x

 

[LeannieB]

Hi I dont have any advice as such but didnt want too read and run. Toby has just turned 3 and sam is nearly 15 months. Toby is fairly good at sharing and I always try and encourage him too play with Sam and show him how things work.
We did have a few weeks when Sam started walking where Toby didnt like him getting his toys as before that he couldnt reach them but they play really nicely together now xx

 

[welshsarah]

leannie im so envious of you. all i want is for them to play nicely together. dylan (the one year old) is so loving towards is big sister so it breaks me heart when she screams at him. i tried putting her on the naughty step earlier (the step doesnt work with sadie, and i only did it as a last resort) but she got more angry and kept running from the step everytime i tried putting her on. x

 

[Lightworker]

Hi hun, I wouldn't put her on the naughty step as it is aggravating the situation even more.

Have you tried engaging them both together in play? Eg, you can play a game where all 3 of you can participate..it could be just like a "pass the parcel" sort of game..or even singing songs that encompass all 3..eg. "Mommy loves Dylan, Dylan loves Sadie, We are friends as friends should be, with a great big hug (you hug them, and ask them to hug each other) and a kiss from me to you, won't you say you love me too" (I got that from Barney yay!) Or just all 3 lay down, and you tickle them both together, roll about on the carpet etc?

Another thing is, have you tried reading books to her that have stories about brothers and sisters playing nicely? Sharing etc? If she sees other brothers and sisters sharing, it will help her see it is fine to do so.


I know its tough, but in addition to the above, I think sometimes, whilst babies are cute, and truly they are innocent in their exploration, I think sometimes if Sadie is not happy, remove Dylan from the situation. That way Sadie knows that her needs are being respected and she can get time to play with her toys as she wants, without Dylan bothering her. Sometimes if my LO is trying to snatch DD1s toys, I just say, "ok LO, lets go and look at some stuff in the book"..I just remove her. While it is important to encourage sharing, this needs to be balanced with your DD1s desire to play with her toys as she wishes. x

 

[LeannieB]

Aah bless believe me I still have the odd day where Toby gets annoyed with Sam. Toby is at pre school today so Sam is enjoying having free run of the house.ha ha.
I think you are doing all the right things about explaining that he is only little and that she needs too play nicely etc. Have you thought about maybe introducing a sticker/reward chart? I have no advice on naughty step as we dont use one xxxx