advice please!!

[spacecadet]

hello, im hoping someone can help me as i worry that ive made huge mistake! basically my baby is 12weeks old now and since birth i have allowed her to fall asleep at the breast, i co-sleep with her so when she wakes in the night i just rollover to her, feed her till shes asleep then roll back and go to sleep again, she will not nap during the day unless in my arms feeding or in the car/pram, but not for longer than 15-20 mins! very rarely i am able to put her down in her moses basket as she normallywakes straight up, am i right in thinking she needs longer naps than this?! some days she wants to be feeding constantly, i know it could be growth spurts etc but is very often, at the mo im feeding her on demand, but worry as i am getting sore nipples sometimes and my boobs rarely feel 'full', sometimes it seems she will empty one then the other straight away then want more within an hour! will my boobs have time to replenish? she does seem a very 'sucky' baby, she will not suck from a dummy easily, i have tried an orthodontic tommy tippee but find that it hits her little nose when she sucks and she lets go! so wondered if you thought it would be worth persevering? i know at 12 weeks shes prob too young for a real routine but just want to get a couple of hours during the day to get on with college work!!
i hope someone can give me some advice or sympathy cos today i feel a bit disheartened as feel like im constantly sitting on the sofa feeding her!
and if my fella comes home from work one more time asking me what ive done all day or 'just sitting around' and how his mum had 4 kids and managed to do all the housework and cook dinner.... ggrrrrr..... rant....

spacecadet xx

 

[princessellie]

aww hun, maybe you should try again with a dummy, i know when i first gave leyley one she wouldnt have it at all but the one i gave her was too big, also i bought the orthodontic ones but she found it quite hard to keep them in, i know people say they are better than the cherry ones but so long as she doesnt have them too often theyre alright, maybe try different sizes, teat shapes etc?

x

 

[princessellie]

ps tell ur bf to sod off, he doesnt know how hard it is lol

x

 

[lauzliddle]

I don't know if this would help but try expressing 6-7 oz and feed her the bottle she may go off for longer as she will be full. My little man has longer sleep periods if I give him 5 oz of expressed. Also try with a dummy again I use tommy tippee closer to nature ones.
Hope this helps

 

[1st_baby]

Hi hun

You can try to get her in a routine now ,but dont drive yourself crazy with it ..

If shes suckling for comfort you can try other dummies that are more gelly and soft next to her nose ..i know NUBY & NUK make some ..

Also for the naps you can try to put a shirt you wore next to her ..tie it in a knot and place it by her side ..she is happy on you and having your scent next to her will comfort her aswell

 

[DonnaBallona]

Hi hun

Also for the naps you can try to put a shirt you wore next to her ..tie it in a knot and place it by her side ..she is happy on you and having your scent next to her will comfort her aswell

this is SUCH a good idea!! im going to do this too!! thanks!! xx

 

[mommyof3co]

To me it really sounds normal as far as how often it seems your feeding her. It can be rough at first, especially when they are going through growth spurts. As far as sleeping what I tried to do when cosleeping was lay with him and nurse until he was almost asleep then offer his paci and lay there until he fell asleep...in the middle of the night we were both so tired he fell asleep nursing most of the time. Then for naps I would do the same thing, lay with him and feed him, when he's almost asleep offer his paci and then when he was asleep I'd get up, but he slept best in my bed all th etime so I left him there...when he started rolling I would put pillows around him. I would just keep trying different pacifiers and see if you can find one she'll take, it took awhile to find one my boys liked but when they were that little it was Avent

 

[Mervs Mum]

All great advice above and the other one I'd add to it is maybe get a sling or wrap?? You can at least start to try to get a few other things done then and feed at the same time.

She's still very little to be in a proper routine it will come if you dont force it. Just a little step at a time.

 

[Jemima]

You'll get plenty of sympathy and advice on here, love! I started Poppy into a little bit of a routine at around 12 weeks. Just at night times really and just to try to help her to settle alone at bedtimes. I read the Baby Whisperer's book and quite enjoyed it. Some of it is a bit unrealistic but it gave me some good pointers on a few sleep and feeding issues we had.

I have still not established a strict feeding routine. I mean, she feeds at roughly the same time every day but most days vary slightly.

Poppy was a very sucky baby too but she has never taken a dummy and this can be difficult but I did find that distraction can be the key in spacing out feeds. Sometimes, I would think Poppy was hungry but by taking her out for a walk or playing with her, she would soon forget about wanting to feed. I found myself mistaking tiredness for hunger all the time as well so this might be something to watch out for.

Good luck with it and let us know how you get on.

 

[spacecadet]

thank you all so much! its great to hear that im not doing it all wrong, its just well meaning friends who have breast fed saying i should be feeding every 4 hours by now..
ive just done the bath then story whilst emptying one boob, then lights out and lay next to her in bed giving her the other, she sort of woke herself and let go of the boob and went back to sleep tonight herself! so thats good! the bath helped relax her too, ive been wary of giving her too many baths but my friend swears by it for making them sleepy, it did work i think as she went all sleepy in my arms as i was drying her! sorry i do tend to waffle and write long replys and dont use all the shorthand terms!
thanks again for the help! glad i joined!
big hugs all xx

 

[Mervs Mum]

My baby has never gone 4 hours between feeds - they are all different hun.

Another thing we've added to our bed routine is a massage - ask your HV about free classes

 

[spacecadet]

well after the bath story and bed routine last night (first time i'd bathed her before bed) she slept till 10.30pm, had a good feed then slept till 6.30am!!! so thats a very good start i feel like i've had a really good nights sleep, i know prob wont happen again tomorrow night but i needed it!
i put the t-shirt i'd been wearing all day next to her last night, it was good reading to her as well, i read a book about fairies that i had read to the bump.. got all emotional..
i have tried expressing milk but it seems to take ages, it took me about an hour to get 3 oz and then it was wasted as she wouldnt take it from the bottle.. we should try again as my fella really wants to be able to feed her too,
thanks everyone for the advice! will et u know how get on..
xx

 

[Blob]

I think i'm still doing what you're doing
I co-sleep she's never gone to sleep at night time not on the boob and every time she wakes up in the night she feeds and goes back to sleep... But she seems to be changing now herself... She will fall asleep during the day without having to feed and seems to need less food. She has always fed every 2 hours until a few weeks ago I also started to give her baby rice at about 3.5 months as she never really seemed to fill herself up and that helped her sooo much she was FAR more conteted.

I think as mums we need to stop worrying so much and go with the flow just do what you think is best if you're happy with how you've done things then your will be too!

Also as for your OH, like my mum said to me, men will NEVER understand how hard it is looking after a baby. They dont get that feeding is exhausting even if you're sitting still for hours they dont see that your sleep is disturbed all night...

 

[Blob]

Oh and also at night times we have a routine thats,
bath
massage
boob
sleep

Now she knows when bedtime is and i hope she'll just start to get herself ready.. maybe wishful thinking though!!