Advice with the In Laws

girlnboots

Mother to 4 furbabies
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I'm not sure if this is the right place for this thread or not. Feel free to move it to a more appropriate place!

First off, I love my MIL. She is a sweet lady who works hard and tries to be a good mother/grandmother. My FIL is a rude, judgemental, arrogant, control-freak of a prick. Everytime he is around, he always makes comments about how my husband's job isn't good enough and how we're making a mistake about buying our house and even tells us how to train our dog! He even told my husband that he shouldn't marry me. My MIL basically just stands by and lets him say this kind of stuff to us because that's "just the way Jimmy is". UGH! She's very sweet but she doesn't like to "cause trouble" or "argue" when her husband basically tells his SON how worthless he is over a emergency 25 dollar loan. (My DH had to go to the ER and the 25 dollars was to cover the pain medicine they prescribed. Stupid gall bladder.)

Anyways, now that you have some background information, I'll get on with my dilemma. My SIL recently had a baby in August. By the time she was 2 weeks old, they were giving her spoonfuls of ice cream and pudding. Not infant formulated pudding, either. We're talking "Jello Mousse" pudding. They also complain constantly about her constipation and give her straight Caro syrup on her pacifier...that was JUST on the ground. I've heard of giving Caro in their bottle, but straight Caro? Yuck! They leave her pacifiers laying on the ground where the dog lays, pick it up and put it in my niece's mouth. AND! They have her crib held up with duct-tape and books! It's not that they can't afford a decent crib, they just don't feel the need to get a better one. These are just a few small things they do that REALLY get under my skin.

Now that we're buying our house, I don't even want his parents to know where it is, let alone have them have a hand in our future children's lives. My husband just brushes me off when I try to talk to him about my "concerns" about how his father talks to him, but I really don't think it's ok for ANYONE to speak to another person with some of the things his father has said. When I commented about the things they do with my niece, my husband said "They've raised 4 kids, they know what they're doing." I'm sorry if I don't want my child sleeping in a crib held up with DUCT TAPE. I'm no snob, but COME ON! Even second hand furniture from the local Salvation Army is in better shape!

Am I completely out of line? I'm a little uh....high strung sometimes, so I know I can very well be wrong about this, but what should I do?! Should I just ignore it because I'm anal retentive? Should I limit their "alone time" with our future kids? They constantly stop by without calling and get upset when we aren't prepared for guests. We've tried to talk to them about it before and they just threaten to "never come over again" (Boo Hoo!)

Please help!
 

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