Advice???

[mrs.erickson]

So, here is my story.

I was dead set on breast feeding... However my DD was not. She never latched, not once. Even with the assistance of a few LC's. I was devastated.

So I started pumping, exclusively. I was pumping for 10-20 min every 2-3 hours. At first it didn't bother me too much because she was sleeping 90% of the time. I have been EP for almost 7 weeks.

However, now it's starting to get me very depressed, and was diagnosed with PPD. I feel so bad when I have to put her down, even when she is crying, so I can pump. I feel like I'm abandoning her to just swing/be in her pack n' play alone. I feel I am losing very valuable time with not only her, but my husband. Because as soon as she does sleep, I have to pump, wash/sterilize all supplies, then by the time I'm done it's time for the next feed.

Then today we were at my nephew's birthday party. While I was pumping, I missed them singing happy birthday, as well as him holding my baby for the first time.

I feel that I am missing out on so much, and am strongly thinking about FF. I work with three women who... lets call them... VERY pro breastfeeders and basically stated that I'll be a horrible parent if I don't provide breastmilk for the first 12 months. Which has made it so I haven't started to FF, even though I really want to.

DH really wants me to FF, as his first two children (with his ex wife) were FF so he doesn't understand my need to provide BM, and doesn't want me to be sad/stressed.

Sorry this was so long. Just needed to vent and see what you ladies had for advice/tips??

 

[Bats11]

Hun dont beat yourself over it, I like youself was so determined to bf my LO but unfortunately i kept getting mastitis so in the end I just decided to ff, yes I felt so so guilty, I cried for ages, but in the end a healthy mum is a better mum for her baby. If the pumping is causing you stress then please dont put yourself through this, as long as your baby is being fed wether bf or ff thats all that counts.

My baby girl has been on formula now for 3wks and she is thriving, so happy & content and Im a happy and content mother for it.

All the best x

 

[vintage67]

First off, . It is so hard being on the pump every 2-3 hour. Many of us have been through it for non-latching infants and/or low supplies.

When in a difficult situation, sometimes it is best to set reasonable time limit.
I assume you are still working with getting the baby to latch?
If not and you do not see a successful latching relatioship in your future, and this merry go round of pumping is affecting your relationship with your baby, then it might be best to start supplementing with formula. You could start slowly; just gradually cutting out a couple of pumping sessions.

Try giving the baby a bottle with a mixture of formula and breastmilk at first. If you can work up to substituting a couple of feeds a day with formula, then it will give your head a bit of room to clear, get some mental and physical rest, and then decide if you want to walk away completely.

Letting go of a breastfeeding relationship for anyreason can be emotionally devastating. Many ladies in this section have had to do so for reasons out of our control; low supply, non-latching baby, chronic infectons, illness, medication conflict, PPD, etc. Try a gradual tapering to give yourself some breathing room. Best of luck to you.

 

[MrsButterfly]

Oh hun, I totally understand. You're obviously an amazing mum and managing 7 weeks of pumping is great. My lo wouldn't latch properly either so I pumped but only managed 4 weeks as I just couldn't cope after DH went back to work.

Went through real feelings of guilt when I moved to eff but am happy with my decision now. My boy is big so I could never have kept up with him with the amounts I was able to pump!

Don't put too much pressure on yourself and do what is right for you and your baby. Other people are very opinionated when it comes to feeding babies but ultimately it's your choice and if you're happy baby will be too xx

 

[dizz]

If they made ANY judgement on me at work - I'd be making an official complaint about harassment and bullying (because it IS bullying) to the management.

I knocked the pumping on the head when I realised I was doing what you are - I was basically feeding her, and praying she'd let me put her straight back down so I could get hooked back up to the pump, and I realised that actually, that was a ridiculous situation - I'd wished for this child for years, and here I was throwing all the time with her and cuddles I'd craved to get as a mum, so I could sit there holding a pump to me. Add in the fact the motor on the pump went and it was the final straw (to be honest I actually really needed hubby to step in sooner and tell me in no uncertain terms how ridiculous it was - but he wouldn't do that).

Whatever happens you're going to have to drop off pumping gradually anyway - I built up a freezer stock so I could keep SOME breastmilk going as long as possible and transitioned that way.

But yep, I'd have zero tolerance for the women at work and I'd be complaining if they dared so much as make an uppity sniff in my direction - they can like or dislike how I choose to do things all they want, long as they keep their gobs shut and their opinions to themselves.

 

[Jakyzmum]

So, here is my story.

I was dead set on breast feeding... However my DD was not. She never latched, not once. Even with the assistance of a few LC's. I was devastated.

So I started pumping, exclusively. I was pumping for 10-20 min every 2-3 hours. At first it didn't bother me too much because she was sleeping 90% of the time. I have been EP for almost 7 weeks.

However, now it's starting to get me very depressed, and was diagnosed with PPD. I feel so bad when I have to put her down, even when she is crying, so I can pump. I feel like I'm abandoning her to just swing/be in her pack n' play alone. I feel I am losing very valuable time with not only her, but my husband. Because as soon as she does sleep, I have to pump, wash/sterilize all supplies, then by the time I'm done it's time for the next feed.

Then today we were at my nephew's birthday party. While I was pumping, I missed them singing happy birthday, as well as him holding my baby for the first time.

I feel that I am missing out on so much, and am strongly thinking about FF. I work with three women who... lets call them... VERY pro breastfeeders and basically stated that I'll be a horrible parent if I don't provide breastmilk for the first 12 months. Which has made it so I haven't started to FF, even though I really want to.

DH really wants me to FF, as his first two children (with his ex wife) were FF so he doesn't understand my need to provide BM, and doesn't want me to be sad/stressed.

Sorry this was so long. Just needed to vent and see what you ladies had for advice/tips??

Aww, don't beat yourself up hun. Your litle1 will benefit so so much from a well rested. Happy mummy. The lil 1z defo pick up on our moods as we know. Formula feed without guilt, ul be less anxious&happier&thus in turn so will ur baby. I'm a mum 2 a 6 week old bubu whoz ff&as well as thriving is one of the happiest babyz go for the formula&when thosee women speak out , just rest assured safe in the knowlege ur doing what's best for ur baby . That's all that matters hun . Gl

 

[AP]

It's absolutely dependent on your wishes hun. i remember exclusively expresisng for 15 weeks. The first 11 was fine, because I didnt have a baby to look after (she was in NICU) but then those 3 weeks of having her home hit me very hard, and the whole pumping thing became so much more difficult. I ended up with PND too. I decided to give up, use up my freezer stash and move to formula. It was a difficult decision to make, and for a few days i felt guilty, but in the end I was happier. And then theres the whole happy mum, happy baby thing

Don't put too much pressure on yourself because others think you should. Sod them. Its about what you want. I'm not pro anything in particular, I've tried it all and there are pros and cons to all methods of feeding. The main thing is you must be happy and enjoy your baby too, because you wont get the first year back. If you feel it will be easier on your and your own mental health, then go for it.

 

[mrs.erickson]

I wish a complaint was an option lol. They ARE the management. I work for a small family owned Veterinary practice so there is no higher up

Thank you ladies for your support. Makes me feel MUCH better!

 

[kat2504]

Who cares what the ladies at work think? They are entitled to their opinion but at the end of the day they are their to do their jobs, not tell you how to bring up your child. Just don't discuss the subject with them, they have no need to know what your baby is drinking, it does not concern them. Even if they are the management, they have no business interfering in your family

Well done for sticking out pumping this far, I have enormous admiration for people that can manage to EP because they couldn't BF directly. As you say, it is very time consuming, much more so than breastfeeding. Ideally, you need someone else to feed the baby while you are pumping so you can spend time with her while she is awake and rest while she is asleep. If family members could do this, such as your OH doing evening and night feeds while you pump, you might be able to keep your supply a bit longer and give some breastmilk and some formula.

But at the end of the day it is better to bond with your baby than bond with a plastic machine. If you want to ditch pumping altogether, give yourself a huge pat on the back for what you have managed to do so far for your daughter and then move gradually (so you don't get mastitis) onto formula without feeling guilty. You

 

[mrs.erickson]

Who cares what the ladies at work think? They are entitled to their opinion but at the end of the day they are their to do their jobs, not tell you how to bring up your child. Just don't discuss the subject with them, they have no need to know what your baby is drinking, it does not concern them. Even if they are the management, they have no business interfering in your family

Well done for sticking out pumping this far, I have enormous admiration for people that can manage to EP because they couldn't BF directly. As you say, it is very time consuming, much more so than breastfeeding. Ideally, you need someone else to feed the baby while you are pumping so you can spend time with her while she is awake and rest while she is asleep. If family members could do this, such as your OH doing evening and night feeds while you pump, you might be able to keep your supply a bit longer and give some breastmilk and some formula.

But at the end of the day it is better to bond with your baby than bond with a plastic machine. If you want to ditch pumping altogether, give yourself a huge pat on the back for what you have managed to do so far for your daughter and then move gradually (so you don't get mastitis) onto formula without feeling guilty. You

Thank you! Unfortunately my family lives 3 states away, and my only friends are co-workers, so if I'm at home they are working. DH works 14-16 hour days 6 days a week, so he's usually at work and is only awake for a few hours before it is time for bed.

My usual schedule is feed the baby, burp her, play/cuddle until she falls asleep. Then I pump, clean bottles/pump equipment, walk the dogs, sleep for what small amount I can before she wakes again for a feed. It's exhausting!