Advice

[Jules]

As you may be aware from my previous posts i have had a few run ins with OH's mother, not exactly run ins, but them taking over, like wanting to come stay with me once babies born, saying that they like certain names but not others and most recently saying i can not look after the baby all the time! Which me and OH sort of fell out about and he has yet again had words with MIL.

Well basically another thing which is worrying me is, when the baby is born i only want OH there, and then obviously when its visting time people can come visit but i want my mum and dad to come first. Its not a case of them being the first to see the baby but more then coming to see me and me needing to talk to my own mum and dad before i see OH's side of family, as they aren't really bothered about seeing me but more for seeing the baby! i mean one thing is, his mother has a new partner whom i have only met a few times so dont want to see him before my own mum!

Is this selfish of me? i know this is going to cause some fuss with my OH as i have already laid a few laws down already which he thinks i am leaving his mum out.

Visting hours are for like four hours, do you think i should suggest, my mum coming first for an hour, then his mum for an hour and then having two hours on my own with OH?

Sorry for the rant!

 

[Linzi]

I dont think its a selfish thing at all, in fact thats exactly how I feel. Only thing is, my mam and dad are away around the time the baby is due, so itll probably be my in laws.

If your parents are able to visit then just say you want to see your mam and dad first. I dont think you're being at all unreasonable. You and your baby are the important ones, and itll have been a tough day for you bringing a baby into the world so you deserve to get exactly what you want.

Good luck - I hope it gets better for you hun

xxx

 

[charlottecco2]

i totally can see where you are coming from, I know that my mum had exactly the same problem when she was pregnant with me. Her in- laws (my dads parents) completely took over and would not leave her alone. Even to the point that they moved themself in to live with my mum so they could "look after her" she said it was a hellish experience, and that looking back, she wishes that she had just said something before it got too late and put an end to it.
I think this is what you need to do, this is your's and your OH special time and you should have it the way YOU want it, there are enough stresses to worry about and the IN-LAWS, should NOT be one of them.

I'm lucky because my OHs Mum lives in Australia so won't be around all the timae anyway, even though she is lovely and wouldn't really mind if she was.

But I hope you sort it out hun, it seems to be causing you a lot of daily un-needed agro xx big hugs

 

[Angelica]

I do understand where ur coming from but at the same time I think ur over stressing urself.
Yes its ur special time & its all about u, oh & baby but at the same time I dont really think u can go around upsetting others?
I wouldnt cause any uneccessary aggro with OH (as u dont need the stress) & i wouldnt lay down laws about who can visit at hosp & when.

Instead I'd have a word with my mum & say as soon as baby's born & its visiting hours make sure ur here pronto!! lol

As far as the MIL coming to stay is concerned, its ok to politely tell them that u'll be ok & if u need them u'll shout...

Good luck & dont stress its not good for u or baby!