Advice

[Bebedeux]

I'm not a single mom, I'm married. I have a 20month son my husband has worked away the last year and he's only home 4days a month. And in that time I'm 100% on my own and alls well. However I'm due another baby in 3weeks he'll be home for two weeks after baby is born then back six days a month there after. My mom is elderly my sisters work full time and my inlaws do nothing. So it's literally just the 3 of us. DS will be going to daycare 3 half days a week so I can get a break and spend time with baby.

I had a 4th degree tear with my son and at that time DH worked away 5nights a week. And I can remember being constantly overwhelmed and exhausted.

I'm terrified I won't have the energy for the both of them. My DS is a lovely lil guy but he is LIVELY and won't sit down in a pushchair or high chair I'm really worried I won't have the energy for them both.

How do you manage baby and toddler?? And what do you do??

 

[MrsT&Ben]

Can I suggest you post this in the baby forum???
Not overly sure why you choose to post it here.....

 

[Beanonorder]

I'm guessing you posted here because you want to know how a single mom copes.
Unfortunately there is no quick-fire, simple solution to help you out. We do what we have to do because we have no choice.
I have an incredibly fiesty almost 3 year old and a 6 month. I also work full and live abroad so other than a nanny helping when I'm at work I have literally no one to help me. I'm exhausted all the time but I still get every morning with them, get them ready for the day and then either entertain them as much as I can or go to work, depending on whether it's the weekend or week. I'm still struggling to get the best routine going and am still very angry at my situation so I struggle with patience. But my kids are my world and I wouldn't change them for anything.
As baby gets older it does get easier. Make sure you have things to distract the older one for when you are feeding.

 

[Bebedeux]

I'm guessing you posted here because you want to know how a single mom copes.
Unfortunately there is no quick-fire, simple solution to help you out. We do what we have to do because we have no choice.
I have an incredibly fiesty almost 3 year old and a 6 month. I also work full and live abroad so other than a nanny helping when I'm at work I have literally no one to help me. I'm exhausted all the time but I still get every morning with them, get them ready for the day and then either entertain them as much as I can or go to work, depending on whether it's the weekend or week. I'm still struggling to get the best routine going and am still very angry at my situation so I struggle with patience. But my kids are my world and I wouldn't change them for anything.
As baby gets older it does get easier. Make sure you have things to distract the older one for when you are feeding.

Thank you so much for your answer.
I have no help that's why I posted here as to see what you do for coping. And how I can manage 2kids solely on my own. I get allot off people "my partner works nights so I'm practically on my own" That's no help to me as its not my situation at all as I have no one and he's not coming home for nearly 3weeks and that's only for 2-3days and then its me and me solely and I do everything on my own and I'm fine I'm used to it I've lived a year of my life like that. But adding a newborn is making me feel shaky and I don't want to be cross with my son he's the best lil guy and I don't want to be a nark to him.

I'm very worried about the feeding and sleep with the newborn and I have never ending guilt that my poor little boy is going to be left even more isolated as there's no one else but us.

Your doing fantastic and your working and your some place foreign well done. Your very strong. Thanks for the feeding advice I'm going to look into that.

 

[Beanonorder]

To be honest you're going to feel guilty about your son whether your husband was there or not. Unfortunately it's just something that happens when you have another child. You just have to learn to make the most of your time you can spend with him and try and include him in as much as you can. Get him to help you with baby like fetching wipes, holding the burp rag, teaching him how to gently wipe baby's mouth (my dd loves doing this!) and anything else that could help.
I don't know what your views are on TV but it's a godsend for me. And yes I do feel bad because I know dd watches too much but when I put a show on for her it usually gives me enough time to put ds down for a nap or have a quick shower or get dinner ready.
When ds was younger I would feed him while putting dd to bed. I used to have to sit in the room til she was asleep because she had major regression when her father left. Now they both go to bed at the same time and sometimes I just have to go back and forth between them.
Some days are harder than others but celebrate the good days and don't be too hard on yourself on the bad days.

 

[moomin_troll]

A post like this in a single parent section is going to cause offence and probably annoy afew ladies on here. Even tho your husband works away a lot, you still aren't a single parent.
But basically the answer to your question is you will cope and deal with it because you have no other choice.
My husband died when my son was 2 and then a week later I found out I was pregnant, it was terrifying, I was truly alone. The only help I got was from my husband who was in the army and away a lot.
But in reality I coped fine,y eldest was abit negletected, but I tried to include him as much as i could so he didn't feel any different. He still had a story every night and if that meant my youngest cried, then so be it or I'd feed and read.
We all survived, now my boys are 7 and 4 and it's so much easier now they just go off and do their own thing

 

[Bebedeux]

A post like this in a single parent section is going to cause offence and probably annoy afew ladies on here. Even tho your husband works away a lot, you still aren't a single parent.
But basically the answer to your question is you will cope and deal with it because you have no other choice.
My husband died when my son was 2 and then a week later I found out I was pregnant, it was terrifying, I was truly alone. The only help I got was from my husband who was in the army and away a lot.
But in reality I coped fine,y eldest was abit negletected, but I tried to include him as much as i could so he didn't feel any different. He still had a story every night and if that meant my youngest cried, then so be it or I'd feed and read.
We all survived, now my boys are 7 and 4 and it's so much easier now they just go off and do their own thing

I'm sorry moomin. I really didn't mean to upset anyone.
It's just I don't have anyone else. I can't delete this I'm really sorry I really didn't mean to upset anyone.

 

[moomin_troll]

Oh u haven't upset me, but I know it does get on some of the ladies nerves to see posts like this in here.
Having two kids makes having one seem like a walk in the park, but like I said, u will cope because u have to