Advise needed~kind of silly

[Mrs. J]

Hey ladies,

DH and I have been TTC #1 after our loss in January. I just got my first positive OPK this morning! I started using them just a few weeks ago, as we had to wait to try for a little while so my doc could run some tests.

Here is the situation: My DH really wants us to go on vacation in July with his best friend and his wife and put off TTC until after we get back. I really don't want to be pregnant as they are wanting to go to Vegas, and it's going to be super hot and I do not want to be in the early weeks of pregnancy when its hot and I'm feeling miserable (plus who wants to go to Vegas and not have some drinks!). But now I'm torn; I don't want to spend a lot of money to go when we should really be saving it (we've already been there twice in the last 2 years) and I really don't think I want to put off TTC any longer. I mean, we aren't getting any younger (I'm 30 and he's 37) and I feel like I don't know what to think I've tried to tell him I don't want to go but he really does. I mean, yes it's just putting it off for 2 more months, so what should I do? Am I being totally irrational here?

 

[hollyw79]

Hmmmm hard decision. How big of a priority is TTC for him?? I agree with not wanting to be preggo in July in Vegas- YUCK!!! I'd say 2 months isn't THAT far .. it's not like a year away .. so if he TRULY wants to go~ I'd probably just agree to wait. Personally though~ I'd probably still try and get pregnant- just not try as hard.. I'd rather be pregnant than be able to drink.. even though I do enjoy me some margaritas! If you do go~ just ask for his 100% effort after and not delay it for other trips and such in the future.

 

[DaisyBee]

If it was me - I'd still try to get pregnant - it will be a good excuse for you to stay inside while you are in vegas! I was pregnant w/ Megan & we went to vegas in august (was due in dec) for a long weekend. I made sure to rest more - we stayed inside during the day & I drank water vs yummy drinks but I agree with Holly - I'd rather be pregnant that be drinking anyday

 

[Mrs. J]

Thanks! It's definetly not about wanting to drink, it's more about spending the money. I want to save that to spend on a ! Whenever we are blessed with one..

He's just been pushing back on TTC with comments that he makes. He's mostly scared the MC will happen again. He gets weirded out that I use OPK's. He's just seems very standofish about the whole subject and would rather NTNP. We were that way before, but the MC changed everything, for me anyway. It did too for him for a while..

I wonder if I'm just overly emotional today because I'm ovulating

 

[Mrs. J]

If it was me - I'd still try to get pregnant - it will be a good excuse for you to stay inside while you are in vegas! I was pregnant w/ Megan & we went to vegas in august (was due in dec) for a long weekend. I made sure to rest more - we stayed inside during the day & I drank water vs yummy drinks but I agree with Holly - I'd rather be pregnant that be drinking anyday

Thanks! I mostly just don't want to spend that kind of money, especially when all 3 are going to want to be out and about. I can stay at home and rest for much cheaper

Maybe I'm just being selfish. Let the 3 of them have fun and I'll just be a pregnant tag along!

 

[DaisyBee]

It makes sense that he is putting it off after the mc. Everyone deals w/ it differently. My dh is the opposite at the moment.

Before we had Megan dh was wanting to do as much stuff as possible as he rationalized that once the baby was here trips & fun things we spend money on would be done w/. So leading up to getting pregnant w/ Megan we had lots of vacations & even while pregnant. It turned out to be an ok idea though - as now its hard to do anything like that. We do smaller things now - like a morning at the zoo so we are spending less than we ever did - even w/ diapers,etc.

If he feels weird about your opk's then I wouldnt tell him when you are doing them. Its a lot of pressure for a lot of guys - and if he's nervous after the miscarriage anyway - it might make it worse.

 

[darcie]

i think you should keep trying because you will probably be more relaxed if your not wanting it to happen as much for 2 months and normally when we dont want something as much or dont try as hard it happens xx

 

[Mrs. J]

Yes my hubby has the same rationalization. I think we've been doing lot's of fun things since we've been together (4years) knowing that one day we wouldn't be able to do it anymore. I told him I have the OPK's but I certainly don't tell him that i test twice a day or that I got a positive OPK today! I'll keep it to myself. I certainly don't want to pressure him and I feel like I've been good about not doing that so far.

Thanks for the responses.

PS: DaisyBee, I saw you have another angel.. I'm so sorry

 

[Mrs. J]

i think you should keep trying because you will probably be more relaxed if your not wanting it to happen as much for 2 months and normally when we dont want something as much or dont try as hard it happens xx

Thanks!! That is certainly true!!

 

[DaisyBee]

Thank you

My dh wanted to get pregnant - but also it scared him - that life as he knew it would be over so he wanted to cram in as much as he could