Afraid of dying during birth

[Katy Bug]

It isn't labor, pain, or birth that's got me scared, but the idea of dying. I suppose you could say it's a bit of a phobia. I even get afraid that I'll go to sleep and not wake up some nights. Anyway that is pretty much the only thing scaring me right now. Not the pain or labor but afraid that I might die. The birth part does scare me a bit, though, I suppose because I think I'll die while pushing or something. Afraid the baby will get stuck or something.

I know it's ridiculous. I have had a healthy pregnancy (physically) and haven't stayed sick, don't have GD, don't have high blood pressure or any other complications. I know birth is supposed to be completely natural and obviously, judging by the billions of people in this world, a majority of women make it just fine. I have big hips whereas my sister had small ones and my pelvic bone should be bigger. So what am I stressing about? How do I get over this fear of dying during birth? I even want to go all natural because I'm scared to death of the medications they give. Advice?

 

[Kat541]

No advice, but I have the same phobia because I did almost die during my miscarriage last summer. And only hours after being told I was over-reacting by an ER doctor. I had a retained placenta, and am deathly afraid of a similar situation this time around.

 

[sweetdrea]

I get scared of stuff like that too and its because i have anxiety i think. Im really not scared of dying fro, giving birth because ive done it 2 times already im more scared im going to sleep and not wake up. im having a hard time breathing already and im only 22 weeks... I know its hard to not think about stuff like that but when your brain starts to think of it have some activity like cards or something and go do that to get it out of your mind thats what i do..... besides the doctors have you monitored so well while your in birth and your just a few feet away from the operating room if something was to go wrong..... esp if you have no complications now you will be just fine... good luck

 

[Hopefull mum]

I remember when I found out I was pregnant and was terrified of this! And have just been told I have high blood pressure so even more scared. At the moment though I think it's going to sleep and not waking up that I'm afraid of the most iv been having swelling and pain in my left calf and they have scanned me two times for dvt and done a lung scan to check for clots but I'm STILL scared every minute of the day :'( and nighttime sucks !
Your not the only one hun

 

[punkrockmama]

Oh, hun...you'll do fine...I still have that worry cross through my mind every so often....but I try to remember that thousands of women do this EVERY day...and maternal death is SO low, almost unheard of these days...and according to the research I've done...the ones that have passed had complications before giving birth...these doctors are trained to respond to anything and everything......congrats and try to enjoy your last little bit!

 

[lauren10]

Probably the only thing to really get you over it is living through it all! Phobias are irrational by nature, but it's something you can't control. You'll have a bit of exposure therapy when you actually don't die during child birth other than that, I think meditating would help. No one is going to let you die. Xxx

 

[KsLoveLife]

How do people die giving birth? Just curious. A Heart attack or something??

And you will be ok. Giving birth is a frightening experience when you don't really know what to expect. Before giving birth to my first, I had the same fear. I haven't thought of it this time around... now I can feel my heart racing a bit. lol. oi.

 

[lala222]

How do people die giving birth? Just curious. A Heart attack or something??

And you will be ok. Giving birth is a frightening experience when you don't really know what to expect. Before giving birth to my first, I had the same fear. I haven't thought of it this time around... now I can feel my heart racing a bit. lol. oi.

Hemmorage.

 

[KsLoveLife]

Oh jeez. Now I will freak out too. Lol.

 

[Dani12]

oh gosh, shouldn't have read this thread while I lay in L&D waiting to be induced....

 

[LeoLeah77]

There's so many ways to die though... You could stress about dying from a haemorrhage giving birth but what about the risks of everyday life? You manage to survive through all of that dont you? Try not to panic, I know it's hard. I panic loads lately. But I guess it's natural, our anxiety levels are just way up there during pregnancy. Don't think too much about it, take your mind off it and keep yourself busy. Statistics of death during childbirth is so low these days, you probably have more risk of dying getting into a car.

 

[AngelofTroy]

We watched and episode of ER when I was in first tri, this heavily pregnant lady and her partner came in and were all cute. OH cuddled me and said 'that'll be us'... then at the end of the episode she had a massive seizure and died leaving the dad crying holding the baby...

I think poor OH was traumatised! I'd never seen him cry at a tv show before!

 

[2016]

People have overcome much worse than childbirth and not died. I believe, if you are meant to die, there is nothing you can do to stop it. You are a more risk crossing the road or being hit by a flying champagne cork!

In a philosophical way, you do die when you have a child. I definitely feel when I had my son my "old self" passed away and my new "mummy self" was born.

 

[forestfire]

I think its just normal pregnancy anxiety my dear..! I have thought about this too, along with something happening to baby or my hubby. I am so clingy to him at the moment its embarrassing. I just want to wrap us up in a coccoon and come out at 40 weeks! x

 

[Baby321]

I have the same fear as well . More this time round because I do have some complications. i was told not to have any more babies after my third due to having sections with all of them. So, this is my fourth section and the risks increase each time you have a c-section. This time round, I also have gestational diabetes. So, I do feel worried that will I see my children again. When I say bye to them on the morning of the c-section, will I see them again. Do feel more worried this time round.

 

[LostAndAlone]

I think you are more scared of the unknown hun. You will be in hospital which is the best place to be incase anything does go wrong. They can act fast and most things are prevented before they even happen. Ive heard of women haveing a bad bleed but they have been fine as they were given blood immediatly. In all honestly do any of us personally know anyone who has died during child birth? I know the answer is no but we all know plenty of women who have had babies! The chances are very slim. Most of these incidence happen where proper medical care was not available or the women didnt have proper prenatal care so things werent picked up on or monitered. Its the same with anything tho hun, you could go in to have a tooth removed and bad things could end up happening! There is a risk in everything we do every day! Going to the shops could be risky! I dont think its the fear of dying during the birth i think like i said its a fear of doing something you havent done before and you are thinking of all the things that could go wrong. You will be fine hun! If its really affecting you then explain to your mw and ask to be talked through everything during the birth so you know its all normal and nothing to worry about as its happening. x

 

[pompeyvix]

Unfortunately I once worked with a lady who died during childbirth. She was allergic to the amniotic fluid and her due to this allergy when her waters broke, all her major organs shut down and sadly she passed away, along with her son.

However, what you have to remember is that these incidents are ever so rare and you have a higher chance of being hit by a car or dying of something else completely unrelated than dying during childbirth.

I was involved in a car accident on Monday afternoon. I was hit from behind on a dual carriageway in an accident which was not my fault. Thankfully both baby and myself are fine, but it has really made think!!

 

[Katy Bug]

Thank-you everyone for responding. I keep trying to run the "more likely to die in a car accident than childbirth" through my mind. I thought bleeding out was scary, but now the idea of hemmoraging (sp?) is worse! But I do thank-you all. It helps.

 

[2016]

bleeding out and haemoragghing are the same thing. But it's not the norm and there are things they can do immediately which help the situation.

 

[leahsbabybump]

Hey hun as you say labour is totally natural your body was designed to bear babies You have hada trouble free pregnancy so the chanes f having a troubled labour are pretty slim . Just try and stay relaxed at the momet all he worrying your doing is the only thing thats effecting anything have you spoke to your doctor at all pehaps you could have some anti anxiety tablets to try an help whilst you pass the birhng process