After baby finally sleeps I can't because I'm so upset

[Ecoden]

This is more of a vent but if anyone has any advice I'm happy to,hear it. DD is 3.5 mo old and this week has suddenly started waking every 2 hours or less. She used to be a wake up once a night sleeper. I went back to work 3 weeks ago and when I was on leave dealing with these tough times was hard but now it's just awful. DH was working when she was born and because of I'm breastfeeding I ended up basically being the only nighttime parent and we just kept doing that. Now he's off for summer and I'm working and I'm still the only one getting up! He has her all day while I'm working so I guess I feel like I should be getting up with her because of that. I'm so stressed out that by the time I get DH to get up at around 2 or 3am and he takes over I'm so overtired, full of adrenaline, and upset that I can't sleep. Then I'm upset that I can't sleep and it compounds the problem! I'm so miserable and burned out. I haven't slept more than a 5 hour stretch for months and months.

 

[Fizzyfefe]

Aw, hun, plenty of empathy and hugs. I have not had a full night's sleep since my son was born. It sounds like your little one may be going through some sleep regression. It should be over soon.

As far as hubby helping at night, what if you took shifts? For example, since he's with the baby during the day, you take the first few hours when you get home so that he can get a break and some rest. Then, switch for a few hours and you can get some sleep while he watches the baby again. I would try to time it around your little one's feed so that she doesn't get hungry when it's your turn to rest. It may interfere with the time spent between just you and your hubby, and it may be broken sleep instead of uninterrupted, but it may be better than none at all.

 

[TTC First]

I don't blame you for being upset. You can not possibly go to work all day and do night time feedings. DH is home all day and can sleep when lo sleeps AND he wants to sleep through the night....that would be a no no for me.

I am home with the kids during the day and DH is working. When the kids were young I would go to bed early in the evening and he would do the last feeding of the night. He would go to bed and put the kids to bed at the same time. I would get up in the night for feedings and he would get a good night's sleep. He would wake the kids in the morning and do the first feeding of the day while I slept. I would be able to take naps during the day when the kids slept.

 

[ElizabethK_]

Definitely a sleep regression! It's awful I know, so hang in there! I am the say way. I get so caught up in getting DD to sleep sometimes that i end up not being able to sleep myself...

Also since DD was born the longest stretch i've had was 5 hours and that is just rarely. Usually it's between 3-4 hours, wakes up feeds, 2-3 hours feeds and up for the day...

So be strong... DH won't get up with DD either so I know how you feel. In the end you must feel proud of yourself that even though you are exhausted you are still doing what's best for your baby and you are a great mom for that!

 

[Dolly84]

im a stay at home mum and oh works, so the way we work it is I have the kids in the day while he works, he gets in has a shower then he has the kids in the evening while I catch up with chores or have a bath, then he goes to bed at 10pm I feed ds her last bottle at 11pm and I do "the night shift" as oh works thru the day and he operated machinery so can't be super tired, I can catch up on sleep when the kids sleep in the day. I wouldn't expect my hubby to get up numerous times in the night if he's working the next day, I get 2 nights off a week which is fri and sat because oh isn't in work the following days. Luckily tho dd seams to be sleeping thru at the min so fingers crossed it continues xxx

 

[Ecoden]

Thanks so much everyone. It does seem to be a spurt or regression because she's back to nursing a ton too. DH has always been open to nighttime parenting but we just got caught in the trap of me just always doing it. We tried shifts last night and it went ok. Baby slept better but right now she really only wants me at night still so it'll be an adjustment for all. Thanks for letting me vent, it just feels so hopeless sometimes even though it sounds like I have a relatively 'easy' baby (if they exist!) it's nice to not be alone in this too. Being a new mom sometimes feels like nobody else can relate to how hard it is you know?

 

[MindUtopia]

If you're BF, then it's a bit harder for him to take over during the night, but you might try having him do the settling back to sleep at pre-determined times, so you can get right back to bed without waking up too much. Also, what about going to bed early in the evenings, like 7 or 8pm, basically as early as you can to get caught up on sleep? I did this in the beginning while our daughter slept on husband's chest or in a wrap in the evenings. It meant less time alone together, but it made for more sleep for me when I needed it. Or have him take her for a few hours in the afternoon on the weekends so you can have a nap.