After the birth

Discussion in 'Pregnancy - Third Trimester' started by Luhweez, Oct 2, 2008.

  1. Luhweez

    Luhweez Guest

    Is anyone worried about baby blues? i know you can't say much on something that hasnt happened yet and i dont mean to sound morbid but i think my family and ex OH's family will send me into depression because the way they talk now i feel like im never going to get to see my baby or have her to myself..ever. at the hospital on tues morning i was saying we'll need to get a camera sorted for pics as my mum said if she cant be there she wants lots of pictures! and ex's mum turns round to me and says 'why wont she be there? the minute you go into labor im going to be in the waiting area and not leaving til i've had a good hold of the baby!' i wanted to smack her in the face, because i've spefically said i dont want ANYONE except ex at the hospital as i knwo as soon as we get baby home it'll be like pass the parcel and i want time with her to myself and himself. is there anyway i can politely tell them to f*** off it's MY baby you can hold her when IM done holding her etc..
     
  2. Younglutonmum

    Younglutonmum Mummy To Maya & Bump

    Joined:
    Jan 31, 2008
    Messages:
    3,157
    Likes Received:
    0
    I think hun you're just going to need to sit them down & explain that although you appreciate there interest in your LO, that you want some time for you & your OH to get to know your new arrival on your own

    Also if I was in your shoes I wouldn't let them know I was in labour. You don't want the added stress of her turning up at the hospital

    :hug:
     
  3. alio

    alio Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jun 30, 2008
    Messages:
    2,942
    Likes Received:
    0
    Make it clear what you want. And then get the police to escort them off the premises if they show up!! Hee hee.

    But that must be frustrating. Still mate, try to keep calm.. I agree with younglutonmum... maybe don't tell them?!
     
  4. bambikate

    bambikate Mummy of 2 gorgeous girls

    Joined:
    Oct 7, 2007
    Messages:
    4,270
    Likes Received:
    0
    I agree I think just don't tell them when you go into labour, just when baby has arrived, it's up to you who is there and they should respect that x x
     
  5. naomi

    naomi Active Member

    Joined:
    Feb 6, 2008
    Messages:
    40
    Likes Received:
    0
    I've not really put much thought into the whole 'baby blues' to be honest....if it happens it happens no point worrying about something that you just can't control.
    As for people turning up too soon after you've given birth,I agree eith the others and if possible just don't tell anyone that you've gone into labour......which will probably be a lot harder then it sounds especially if you go into slow labour or something!While i love my mum very much I know that she'd be at the hospital before I was if I told her I'd gone into labour and as soon as I'd had the baby I know she'll be 'snatching' her from me!!!So me and hubbie have decided to not tell anyone I've gone into labour-or given birth until we've had a bit of time to ourselves and we're ready to share our little one with everyone else!!!
     
  6. oxSarahxo

    oxSarahxo Angel Jessie,1M/C, Preg!

    Joined:
    Aug 16, 2008
    Messages:
    781
    Likes Received:
    0
    I'm very worried about baby blues myself, I suffer from manic depression so I've discussed with OH the very real possibility that it could go one of two ways, I could be fine, or I could hit rock bottom.

    Hopefully I'll be alright.
     
  7. naomi

    naomi Active Member

    Joined:
    Feb 6, 2008
    Messages:
    40
    Likes Received:
    0
    Hi!I know everyone is different but my best friend is a bi-polar sufferer and the best shes ever felt was during and shortly after both her pregnancies!
    So hopefully that'll happen for you too x
     
  8. Blob

    Blob Sarah :)

    Joined:
    Mar 10, 2008
    Messages:
    14,387
    Likes Received:
    0
    I've had lots of thought on this, i'm quite worried about it thats why i was so firm like you that NOBODY except Robin at the hospital i want NO visitors and when i come home i will see grandparents for 30mins and have let people know that i might not want anybody picking bean up i also said that i would let people know when they can come over. Think you just have to put your foot down and just dont care whether you offend people or not cos its you and your LO you have to put first :hugs:

    I figure i might feel totally different and want to show off my LO but i want to have the oppertunity to have control..think i'm just most worried about losing control over my LO :cry:

    :hugs:
     
  9. missjacey44

    missjacey44 Jacey & Baby Tye

    Joined:
    Mar 7, 2008
    Messages:
    3,449
    Likes Received:
    0
    Im very worried but im just going to have to deal with that when the time comes. I had to tell my mum to tell my nan without being rude i dont want her to visit straight away because she was planning on coming to the hospital with all my great aunts and uncles who i hardly know to show baby off. That would drive me mad so i had to say something. My mum and ex are the only ones going to see me and baby in the first few days. If you can.. Dont tell them your in labour and when baby is here, Tell them you are farrrrrrrrrrrr to tired to see anybody and baby needs time to bond with you. If they cant understand that then they are abit selfish and stupid!
     
  10. maybebaby

    maybebaby Terri and her baby girl!

    Joined:
    Sep 20, 2007
    Messages:
    3,290
    Likes Received:
    0
    I am very worried that I won't bond with her, and just be sad... :hugs:
     
  11. Trish

    Trish Marley's mom

    Joined:
    Mar 12, 2008
    Messages:
    497
    Likes Received:
    0
    I'm a bit worried. I know I'll be over-joyed to have her here finally but I also get overwhelmed and stressed out easily when lacking sleep and have mega crying fits but I'm trying not too worry myself about it too much.
    I would just tell them how you feel or have your ex do it. I got my OH to tell his family that I didn't want them there until I felt ready. People should be understanding as it's quite a big deal for you.
     
  12. brownhairedmom

    brownhairedmom Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Dec 13, 2007
    Messages:
    6,444
    Likes Received:
    0
    I'm petrified. I have not had an easy time with this pregnancy emotion wise. I can't help but worry that after will just be worse. I feel so emotionally drained already and I just want her out. I'm scared I'm going to end up seeing her as a constant reminder of why I'm living at home and why I'm struggling. I don't want it to be that way obviously, but I am scared of it.

    Also, my mother seems to have no confidence in my parenting abilities and is constantly making comments about how "you can't get impatient, I don't know how you're going to do this, I can't see you doing this" so it doesn't help my self esteem much in the parenting area.
     
  13. kiwimama

    kiwimama Soon to be family of 4!

    Joined:
    Jul 8, 2008
    Messages:
    6,389
    Likes Received:
    0
    I'm quite afraid of getting depressed afterwards as well, I have suffered depression in the past, so believe I'm more likely to get pnd? I have also had the added stress of finding out I may need a c section (which I'm not happy about), so I'm worried I won't bond with her, as I wanted her to the breast and skin to skin contact straight after birth. I've also got some of OH's friends wanting to be there during labour or very soon afterwards - I've put my foot down on that one tho, I want time as a family for awhile before I have all these visitors!! It's not too much to ask!
     
  14. Sarah88

    Sarah88 Full time working mummy

    Joined:
    Feb 1, 2008
    Messages:
    3,573
    Likes Received:
    0
    I got the baby blues, but mine was almost a week after giving birth... The best advice I can give is to try and get as much sleep as you can in the early days!

    As for your ex MIL, I wouldn't be telling her when your in labour.
     
  15. Sarah88

    Sarah88 Full time working mummy

    Joined:
    Feb 1, 2008
    Messages:
    3,573
    Likes Received:
    0
    :hug:
    My whole family was saying how i'll be screaming for an epidural from the first contraction while I was pg. It made me even more determined to prove them wrong- which I did, no drugs! All I can say is to think positive, think about how good it's going to feel when you prove them wrong! You are going to be a great mum, so don't let ur mother try to tell u otherwise.
     
  16. ryder

    ryder Mum to Jasmine & Peyton

    Joined:
    Mar 25, 2008
    Messages:
    31,693
    Likes Received:
    0
    aww luhweez, personally I wouldn't tell anyone your going into labour. I already told everyone, my mom, my mil, that only my OH will be there at the hospital. Im not going to tolerate a bunch of visitors at home either.

    My mom tried to tell me she would come and stay for a few days to help me... ummm NOOOOOOOOO FREAKING WAYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    lol... I think the first couple weeks is a time when you and your OH (or just you if the father isnt going to participate) need to bond and adjust to having the baby.
     
  17. Sarah88

    Sarah88 Full time working mummy

    Joined:
    Feb 1, 2008
    Messages:
    3,573
    Likes Received:
    0
    I think it depends on your relqationship with your mother tho, I'm a first time mum and I would have been lost if I didn't have mum here to help me in the first few days. Mind you, she keeps her distance until I ask for help.
     
  18. ryder

    ryder Mum to Jasmine & Peyton

    Joined:
    Mar 25, 2008
    Messages:
    31,693
    Likes Received:
    0
    Totally Sarah!!!! I agree, if you are close with your mom it is a good thing, im not that close with her, and im the type of person who likes to figure things out myself... And having people around giving suggestions and watching me annoys the hell out of me.
     
  19. brownhairedmom

    brownhairedmom Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Dec 13, 2007
    Messages:
    6,444
    Likes Received:
    0
    Yeah.

    Me + My Mother + Baby = Disaster. BIG disaster :rofl:

    But I have no other choice at the moment.
     
  20. Vickie

    Vickie Hannah & Rhys <3

    Joined:
    Oct 3, 2007
    Messages:
    94,296
    Likes Received:
    0
    My MIL wanted to come over for a month after the birth to "help out." At the hospital though they made me feel like crap, kept telling me what to do, spoke in Chinese when I told them something was fine (I don't speak Chinese), etc. After the birth she called and emailed to find out Hannah's eating/sleeping/pooping schedule to make sure we were doing things right. :wacko: Needless to say DH politely told her that I didn't need her help after he went back to work.
     

Share This Page