Age gaps?

[Mum2b_Claire]

We'll have 2 year 9 months gap. We planned it, we def wouldn't have gone for a smaller gap, just because we know Ruby wasn't ready to share us before then and we felt she'd suffer a bit too much from having less attention. Whether that would actually have been the case is another question, but it was just how we felt. There were also other reasons for TTC when we did, we were coming to a period of time where it was going to make financial sense for me to stay at home so we thought that was best timing to have our second.

 

[BabyJ'sMummy]

Our age gap will be 18 months and although it's daunting to have 2 under 2, we really wanted them close together in age. I would love another and ideally would want the same age gap again but I don't think I could go through another pregnancy so soon, I need some me time . I'm applying to go back to university and we'll see how things stand after that but I have a feeling that the age gap (for us) will be too big by that time. Having said that we have always thought about adoption, so that may be a possibility in the future also. xxx

 

[haggle-b]

I have 3 children - 14yr old girl, 10yr old girl and 1yr old boy.

Did not choose such a big gap between them but I got divorced and LO is with my 2nd husband.

Good thing about the big age gap ive got is that the elder 2 can entertain themselves and they also both dote on their little bro. They are obviously both at school during the day so its almost like LO is an only child in that respect.

When my daughters were younger 4 years was a nice gap for me. Eldest was old enough to play by herself for a while whlist I dealt with a newborn and she also had playgroup several mornings a week. I had wanted them closer but it didnt happen, looking back im probably lucky it didnt as daughter no 2 was a very demanding baby and needed a lot of my attention. Once they got to 2 and 6 years they got along famously. Wish I could same the same now they openly claim to 'hate' each other and fight like cat and dog. There are moments when they do get on although neither of them will admit to liking the other!!!

I always admire women with a very close age gap eg under 18m, for me its not something I feel I would have wanted or been able to cope with, but who knows, us women cope with what we have to cope with, we just get on with it.

 

[lepaskilf]

Personally I think you can make any age gap work for your family, as you'll adapt.

I was an only child and I definitely want more than one because of this. Not only from the childhood playmate perspective (I confess I was a bookish child but maybe this was because I didn't have a playmate) but later on in life, as teenagers you need someone to chat to about stuff, and to fight with lol, and also, not to be morbid, but there's only me to take care of my parents when they are elderly, and that thought scares the living daylights out of me (being perfectly honest there).

We actively tried for 2 school years between ours, and it worked out that, all being well, Earl will be 2 years and 7 months when this one arrives. We would like a 3rd too and will be trying immediately for that one - we just think that dynamic will work for us this time.

Any age gap is good IMO but I wouldn't want Earl to be an only child.

When Tom was born we never really thought of having another and have been very happy with one so far. But just in the past couple of weeks I've watched him play and think, it'd be really nice for him to have a sibling!

I've chatted to people I know with just one child or are only children themselves and all say that they wished they'd had another, or wished they had a sibling themselves. And as you say it's also for when they are adults, it's nice to have a long term friend and someone to share things with such as caring for parents and your children having cousins etc

 

[R_x]

16 months. baby just gets ignored by big bro most of the time at the moment xx

 

[Tudor Rose]

between my 1st and 2nd there is 16months and they are very close. it was tough at the time life seemed like endless nappies. my 3rd is 5 years younger than my middle child and its amazing how much you forget about the baby stage. re-adjusting was tough for me. i wished we had had no3 sooner rather than later.

 

[lepaskilf]

I have 3 children - 14yr old girl, 10yr old girl and 1yr old boy.

Did not choose such a big gap between them but I got divorced and LO is with my 2nd husband.

Good thing about the big age gap ive got is that the elder 2 can entertain themselves and they also both dote on their little bro. They are obviously both at school during the day so its almost like LO is an only child in that respect.

When my daughters were younger 4 years was a nice gap for me. Eldest was old enough to play by herself for a while whlist I dealt with a newborn and she also had playgroup several mornings a week. I had wanted them closer but it didnt happen, looking back im probably lucky it didnt as daughter no 2 was a very demanding baby and needed a lot of my attention. Once they got to 2 and 6 years they got along famously. Wish I could same the same now they openly claim to 'hate' each other and fight like cat and dog. There are moments when they do get on although neither of them will admit to liking the other!!!

I always admire women with a very close age gap eg under 18m, for me its not something I feel I would have wanted or been able to cope with, but who knows, us women cope with what we have to cope with, we just get on with it.

This sounds like when I was growing up. Me and my sis have 13 months between us then 13 yrs later our bro was born with my mum's new hubby. Me and sis got on well when we were really little but hated each other when we were teenagers. We get on really well now though! And both have little boys now which is nice!

Although we doted on our brother he never really had the same bond as me and my sis, purely because of the age difference, we are 2 completely different generations!

 

[Baby France]

We've got an age gap of just under 16 months and I must say I really enjoy it.

We've found it tiring at times, but my pro's are I get to have all the sleepless nights/nappies and baby stuff out of the way in one go? They are quite close and play really well together giving each other kisses and that.

The downside though is that you do do it all in one go and I'm dreading the teenage years...expensive and hormonal

 

[lepaskilf]

We've got an age gap of just under 16 months and I must say I really enjoy it.

We've found it tiring at times, but my pro's are I get to have all the sleepless nights/nappies and baby stuff out of the way in one go? They are quite close and play really well together giving each other kisses and that.

The downside though is that you do do it all in one go and I'm dreading the teenage years...expensive and hormonal

I bet it's lovely to see them play together, knowing that they'll (hopefully) always be close!.... But I'm quite liking the idea of starting all over again with a new baby! I know it'll be expensive at the beginning, buying all the new stuff. But as you've said, for you it'll be expensive in later yrs as you'll have to buy 2 of everything.... Maybe I can just pass all of DS toys on to the next one and I'll never have to buy more (is this optimistic?!)

 

[smelly07]

There is 4 years two months age gap between my girls and that was planned...... personally for me i always wanted a 4 year gap......My girls get on brilliantly and are very close...... i had a whole 4 years with my eldest daughter and had my 2nd two months before my daughter started school so have always had lots of 1:1 with my youngest daughter to. My eldest daughter was older enough to understand what was going on, was confident and independent enough at that age to not be jealous/play up/seek attention or need as much attention as a younger child would.
I have found it all so easy ........i have heard parents of children i look after say 'i want to get it all out the way' where as i'm more 'they dont stay young for long i want to enjoy each child as much as possible.'

My youngest is 2 years 3 months now and i couldnt imagine having a baby with her being this age....... her character is coming out more and more and i'm loving the time with her i couldnt imagine having a new born/baby to contend with right now.

everybody has there own preference you have to do whats right for you.

 

[lepaskilf]

There is 4 years two months age gap between my girls and that was planned...... personally for me i always wanted a 4 year gap......My girls get on brilliantly and are very close...... i had a whole 4 years with my eldest daughter and had my 2nd two months before my daughter started school so have always had lots of 1:1 with my youngest daughter to. My eldest daughter was older enough to understand what was going on, was confident and independent enough at that age to not be jealous/play up/seek attention or need as much attention as a younger child would.
I have found it all so easy ........i have heard parents of children i look after say 'i want to get it all out the way' where as i'm more 'they dont stay young for long i want to enjoy each child as much as possible.'

My youngest is 2 years 3 months now and i couldnt imagine having a baby with her being this age....... her character is coming out more and more and i'm loving the time with her i couldnt imagine having a new born/baby to contend with right now.

everybody has there own preference you have to do whats right for you.

I have always had the same idea, that it's nice to spend your time and devote all of your attention to you child and not feel stressed with 2, and share your time when they need you most. This is why we only decided to have one, but now Tom is getting to the age where I think he will benefit from a sibling.... certainly more than being an only child, which we originally thought would be best!

I like the idea of starting all over again, and not just "getting it all over and done with" which I too have heard from people I know!

 

[shellie]

There will be a 7 year gap between my two. I didn't really think about having another child as I was studying etc... But towards the end of my course my son started asking when we could have a baby as all his friends seemed to have brothers and sisters. Plus I decided I didnt want him to be an only child as I grew up as one of 6 children and really enjoyed it.

So when my course ended I decided to have another child. We were quite shocked how quick it happened though as the time between deciding to have another child and finding out I was pregnant was only a matter of weeks and to be honest sometimes I think it still hasnt sunk in.

My son is really excited though and keeps asking when his brother will be here so I think he will really want to get involved. Plus I think it will be easier for me that my son can now wash and dress himself etc... So I don't have to stress about getting two small children ready to go out at once. xxx

 

[emma33]

Hi,
Theres 20 months between my 1st and 2nd 22months between my 2nd and 3rd.. and now theres going to be 13 yrs between this one and my last... so this is going to be a very new and exciting time in our family.. xx

 

[moomin_troll]

i was child 3 out of 4 growing up and hated that lol altho 3 of us had 3 yrs apart..the youngest is 7 yrs younger then me and thats not easy. but the 3 yrs between works well.

theres 2yrs 11 months between my boys, so basicaly 3 yrs and im very happy its worked out this way. being pregnant was easier because zanes more independant and understood more and now hes fine with corey and sometimes helps me.

i can also ask him to wait for things because coreys feeding and he will.

we decided to try the month after zane turned 2 and i got pregnant straight away

 

[smelly07]

There is 4 years two months age gap between my girls and that was planned...... personally for me i always wanted a 4 year gap......My girls get on brilliantly and are very close...... i had a whole 4 years with my eldest daughter and had my 2nd two months before my daughter started school so have always had lots of 1:1 with my youngest daughter to. My eldest daughter was older enough to understand what was going on, was confident and independent enough at that age to not be jealous/play up/seek attention or need as much attention as a younger child would.
I have found it all so easy ........i have heard parents of children i look after say 'i want to get it all out the way' where as i'm more 'they dont stay young for long i want to enjoy each child as much as possible.'

My youngest is 2 years 3 months now and i couldnt imagine having a baby with her being this age....... her character is coming out more and more and i'm loving the time with her i couldnt imagine having a new born/baby to contend with right now.

everybody has there own preference you have to do whats right for you.

I have always had the same idea, that it's nice to spend your time and devote all of your attention to you child and not feel stressed with 2, and share your time when they need you most. This is why we only decided to have one, but now Tom is getting to the age where I think he will benefit from a sibling.... certainly more than being an only child, which we originally thought would be best!

I like the idea of starting all over again, and not just "getting it all over and done with" which I too have heard from people I know!

In that case i definitely think you should wait..... I agree its lovely to give your child a sibling but he will benifit from a sibling at whatever age....just enjoy him.... start trying when your LO is 3 and has started pre-school......that way you also get a few hours a day to yourself to relax and put your feet up whilst pregnant!

 

[sun]

My 2 will be almost 2 years apart exactly. OH and I wanted a small age gap (less than 2) for many reasons. My brother and I are a little less than 2 years apart and very close. I know it all depends on the individual kids though! OH has a 5 year age gap between himself and his older sister and they never got along - he was always the annoying little brother and she basically ignored him until he was into his 20s. So he always felt like an only child! We also liked the idea of their stages being similar and them being able to play together and be able to relate to each other better. (Though I know all kids are different!)

Also I would like my time away from work to be 5 years max - not an ongoing thing. I really like the idea of working for myself part time once the kids are in school and with what I do it's impossible while trying to look after LO!

And a note about only children. I know 3 people who with no siblings and they all loved it - none of them want more than 1 because of it! x