Alex Lost The Baby

Discussion in 'Miscarriage Support' started by MadAl_x, Oct 10, 2008.

  1. MadAl_x

    MadAl_x mummy of 1

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    It's alex's boyfriend here, she wanted me to rite on here to tell people that she had a miscarriage yesterday morning, she had the baby 4 a month.

    she told me that she doesnt no how 2 cope and she was getting happier each day bout having the baby seeing as she's only 16 and im 17 and we already have 1 kid. she's really depressed and shes in denial, and so am i. i dont really no how to help her, should i give her space or b there to support her?

    my brother lost his fiance a few yrs ago because she had a miscarriage and she ended up commiting suicide, i dont want that to happen to alex,

    how can i help her and myself threw this? we never thought this would happen

    in advanced thank for the support nd advice
     
  2. JASMAK

    JASMAK Mom of three

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    I would be there for her, but, also let yourself grieve. Cry in each other's arms, or, run her a bath and wash her back, go on a vacation to a beach and collect shells...those are some of the things we did (I have lost 3 babies now). I just try to do things that feel good. I don't like to be around friends (that's just me), I don't like going out alone in public (I don't like the question "how are you today?"), and I definitly don't want to be cooking, cleaning, or entertaining anyone. I wanted to be with my husband, and I want him to hug me when I need it, and just be there. Not trying to "fix" anything, because nothing can be done. I am sorry for you loss. (hugs)
     
  3. DiddyDons

    DiddyDons Guest

    first of all, i am so sorry for your loss.
    i lost my little girl when i was 24weeks and 6days pregnant. so know how hard this is for the both of you.
    i agree with the post before me, all you can do is be there for her...if she wants space then give her space.
    i, personally needed my boyfriend there for me all the time, and i still do 9months down the line and he is no longer there for me even with her birthday approaching.
    he tends to be off with his mates a lot more and not giving a dam about me and thats not what i need through this tough time. im sure your girlfriend wouldnt like that to happen either.
    so just be there for her as much as you can...hugs her when shes feeling down and reassure her that everything is going to be alright.

    and of course find time to grieve for your self.

    :hug:
     
  4. Alexas Mommy

    Alexas Mommy Well-Known Member

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    so sorry for your loss.
     
  5. todteach

    todteach Dreams can come true

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    I'm so sorry for your loss. Please be there to support your girlfriend. This is a terrible thing to go through, as you already know. She will need lots of hugs and support in the weeks and months to come. Let her talk openly about her pregnancy and the life that was lost. Tell her to come online and speak to us, if she thinks that will help her out. I know that this forum has really helped me out since my miscarriage in May. We are all here to lean on. Take care :hug:
     
  6. cleckner04

    cleckner04 Well-Known Member

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    I agree with everything already said on here. Be attentive to her needs. Hug her a lot. And when your done hugging her. Hug her some more. This was your baby too so you need to grieve as well. I'd advise staying away from major public areas though as running into anyone that is pregnant will only make it worse. I'm so sorry for your loss. :hugs:
     
  7. moomoo

    moomoo Mumma to 2 & 1 in heaven!

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    just be there for her, and dont give her a hard time..sorry for your loss :hugs:
     
  8. honey08

    honey08 mum2two boys/2mc

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    just explain to her as awful as it is it happens so much 1-4pregnancys end in mc and its so upsettin it is, i wish when i had mine i had a site like this cos it wud of been a little easier,so she got us, ur self and friends and family :) u shud say when ur ready we can try again although obviosley never been able2 replace the baby uv just lost :( x
     
  9. princess_bump

    princess_bump Happy Wife & Mumma!

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    i am so sorry for your loss x x x
     
  10. chrissie33

    chrissie33 Mummy to two monkeys

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    So sorry to hear about your loss. It is hard on you both, although some people (those who havent experienced this) forget that the man has lost a baby too. I know that when I have lost mine (3 losses now), whilst I want him there to hug me, I dont want to be fussed. My DH has been amazingly patient -listening when I want to talk, letting me cry and rant when I want to etc. It is not all about us girls, but the hard part for us is that it takes a while for the hormones to go and so the main thing is to have patience with her if you can - if she wants to be left alone, let her etc. I dont know if this is right for you but when we lost ours, my DH didnt once show how he was feeling as he was trying to be strong so as not to upset me - that had the opposite effect for me as I didnt think it had affected him and felt a little resentful (to be honest) that he had not reacted. I have now told him that I would rather we had grieved and cried and ranted together than for me to be the emotional one alone. Just an opinion though, my personal experience, some people may feel otherwise.
     

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