Alittle Help please

[singledaddy14]

Hi,

i Split from my ex last november, she broke up with me, i left her the house and took our 12k loans to pay off, i left her the house for the kids, which is 1 yr and 6 yr,
i see them twice aweek

the csa have not been intouch yet , but i have been paying her money since 1st december, £300. to be nice and to help her

she rang me the other month to say she taking the kids away abroad and away in england 2 weeks in total, which i said yes it fine,

now i have asked to take them away for a week only hr away camping,
and with my new partner of 8 months and she refusing me completey.

i have said i played nice giving you loan free and house, and let her taken the kids away now i want something its a no,

now to make her life harder iam going to stop the CSA money untill they get incontact with me, as she not playing nice why should I?

any help would be great,

has she the right to refuse me?

 

[singledaddy14]

also she saying if i stop the money i wont see my kids,

 

[xSophieBx]

First off all, stopping maintenance is spiting your children, not your ex partner. This is where men go wrong.. that money is if for your children NOT your ex partner. CSA is a hard route and you could end up paying more money for 2 children via them so I'd be careful... and the fact its gonna back fire on the amicable relationship you've kept with your ex partner up until now & its not fair on the children.

Other then the money I totally agree with you about her being out of order for saying no to your holiday. What are her reasons for refusing you? Does the 6 year old want to go? As shes the sole carer she holds all the cards but I suggest you asking if shes willing for you both to talk/discuss it face to face so you can iron out any issues.

 

[purpledahlia]

I also think you and her should sit down and talk, Maybe its because your new partner is going?? Tell her you both need to agree on how many weeks you can each take the kids away per year, and maybe get some kind of legal document to state what you've agreed on, when you see them and the holidays, If she got 2 weeks away then you should too.

 

[Snowball]

Don't stop maintenance, that money isn't for your ex, it's for your children. You have done right by paying it so keep doing it.

I also think your new partner could be the problem. Sadly if she is not amicably agreeing and you are not happy, then you will have to go the legal route.

 

[singledaddy14]

we have sat down me new partner and ex,

and she said its because of my new partner,
the kids love her, everytime i have them they ask where she is,

i just wondered how and what iam aloud,

surely iam playing fair,

 

[purpledahlia]

Was she with someone when she took them away?

 

[singledaddy14]

no,

 

[singledaddy14]

ur friends,

 

[singledaddy14]

sry ,,, her friends

 

[purpledahlia]

hmm if the kids have never been away with you or her and new partners then she might just be being funny, Maybe ask her if you can take them alone, then ask her to ask them if they want your Gf there or not? then its up to the kids? they should say yes? she probably is being difficult ... but she does kinda hold the cards