All on my own...

Discussion in 'Baby Club' started by ahcigar1, Nov 16, 2011.

  1. ahcigar1

    ahcigar1 Happy Mother of 1

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    I'm so irked with my husband. He doesn't offer me any help and anytime I ask for it he acts like I'm putting him out and gets angry with me.

    I had a c-section so have been trying to heal from that and yet haven't been able to because someone has to take care of LO and he won't so that just leaves me. He is constantly complaining of the fact that I haven't picked up yet and keeps demanding me to do more and more, yet he doesn't make any effort at all. Then almost 2 weeks ago he had a hemorrhoid removed and since then he is always acting like he can't manage to lift a finger because he is in too much pain. But yet I would get up 3-4 times a night and take care of LO during the day, and go grocery shopping all the while in extreme pain, and knew I was doing too much but I had no choice. I have been having off and on fever which leads me to believe I may have an infection, yet he doesn't care, and keeps demanding more. My mom and dad came out this past week to help and I managed to get a good rest then, and they were furious to see the horrible condition I was in and how wasn't getting any help at all. My parents left yesterday so last night was my first night having to take care of LO in a week so was really tired as it was. Fed her at 9 but didn't get to sleep till about 11 since had to wash and make up her bottles and then pump as well. Then to get back up at 1 to feed her again. And she didn't settle back down till almost 230. She woke up again at 530 only 30 min before my husband was due to get up anyway for work, so I asked him to take care of this feeding for me so I could try and get a little bit of sleep. He did it but not without a huge complaint and yelling at me telling me its my job to get the night feedings. And that we need to have a serious talk about this blah blah blah. I'm just tired of having such a selfish husband who doesn't even care that his wife is making herself sick because of the lack of help. And now he has started complaining again and harassing me about cleaning. I barely even have enough time to eat let alone clean. Yesterday the only meal that I had was dinner and that was just a small sandwich. Today all I've had is 2 eggs for breakfast and it's going to be dinner time soon. And yet I'm supposed to take care of everything else as well.

    I'm sorry for the down post, I just need to vent to someone. I just wish he would care about someone besides himself.
     
  2. Future-Sailor

    Future-Sailor Well-Known Member

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    :hugs: feel for you!! It's not easy taking care of our babies and doing everything else as well!! Shame you got such a selfish husband but you are lucky to have your parents for support x
     
  3. Soon5kids

    Soon5kids Pregnant with Blessing #6

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    So sorry that your going thru this. Husbands can be a real pain in the arse sometimes. They think we are like superwoman or something and that we don't need our rest too :hugs:
     
  4. SugarFairy

    SugarFairy Well-Known Member

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    *hugs* for you xx most important at the moment are you and the baba. Screw the housework, don't even think about it. You need to look after yourself so you can look after LO. Your husband needs a serious talking to! If he's not listening to you perhaps get one of your parents to have a word with him?? And make sure you get to your dr about the fever, antibiotics will quickly clear up an infection if you have one. I hope he stops being an ass soon x
     
  5. tummymummy

    tummymummy mummy of 2 and growing 1

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    Big hugs hun give that man a swift kick up the arse this is supposed to be the healing time for you. Hope things work out for you soon xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
     
  6. Lollieollie

    Lollieollie Well-Known Member

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    How awful! I couldn't have coped in the early days without my husband and my parents and I never had the added difficulty of a section, sending lots of hugs! Someone has to have a word with him to make him realise how selfish he is being, it's his baby too. Might be a bit dramatic but would you be able to stay with your parents a while, shock him into realising what a *%@*# he's being?

    Hope you get it all sorted soon and enjoy your beautiful baby xxx
     
  7. ahcigar1

    ahcigar1 Happy Mother of 1

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    Thanks everyone. Yes my parents both kept talking to him about how the job needs to be shared and how I need some rest as well cause I am still healing. But it always goes in one ear and out the other. I wish that I could go to my parents for a couple of days but they live on the other side of the country.
     
  8. four

    four Well-Known Member

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  9. snowflakes

    snowflakes Well-Known Member

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    Oh you poor thing... I am so sorry. I am totally shock by your husbands actions or should i say nonactions (not really a word but it sounds good) LOL! I see that you posted that your parents have already spoke to him, so all i can say is you need to tell him that if he doesn't start caring more for LO at least doing his share then you are going to go stay somewhere for a bit. Do you have family or a friend near by you can stay with? Could you tell your parents just how bad it is and maybe they can arrange transportation for you and LO... I know my parents would be really pissed off if my OH acted this bad. And my OH is not perfect infact in the begining he was pretty shitty not as bad as your OH but up there. So i told him i was leaving (i packed my stuff up and LO's) unless he sat down with me and listened and ONLY if some things changed. And they did!! He totally did a 180. Its not the 1950'a ANYMORE, let him know that. Men now are actually engaging with their LO's and helping out with house hold chores, etc..... Again, sweetie i'm so sorry. Please feel free to message me if you need to vent more.. Keep us updated, let me know if anything changes. I'm sending you lots of hugs!!!!
     
  10. snowflakes

    snowflakes Well-Known Member

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    Also just so you know, i can totally relate to your post. Like i said OH was not near as bad, when i would ask he would help and NEVER said anything mean. That would of been me!! LOL! But, i also had emergency csection, i also hemmorraged almost passed and had to go back into surgery for another procedure and then lost so much blood i had to have a transfussion. And when i got home i had to do EVERYTHING. I was running up down stairs to do laundry, making dinner, OF COURSE doing the dishes, the list goes on. I honestly, never sat down between all this and taking care of a preemie that has many health issues and never slept. It was hell. I was so depressed. I could go on, but i wanted you to know you are not alone. Please though, know this if you don't do SOMETHING it will not change and possibly get worse. It sounds like this idiot has absolutly no respect for you at all. Sorry if i'm over stepping. I think your thread maybe brought back some yucky memories of when we first came home and all this went down. It wasn't a good time. I cried constantly. Keep me updated. And please take care of yourself!!!
     
  11. Lettuce

    Lettuce Getting better at this...

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    To damn right you "need to have a serious talk about this" because he is obv well out of line. How DARE he put his wife's health at risk, cos that's what he is doing. How terribly selfish.
    I too had a section, and PPH. I was told not to even put a washing in the machine for 3 weeks. I still find it very painful to Hoover, so I don't do it. (DH does)
    I would def consider going to stay with someone, you need to take care of yourself. btw, my DH is pretty useless cleaning too, but he wouldn't be mean about me not doing it.
    What about telling HIS parents how he's been? I threatened to tell my mil how DH had been and he soon pulled up his socks. :hugs: Hun, look after yourself, and see a doc, cos I think you've got an infection.
     
  12. kdea547

    kdea547 1 DD, 2 Angels

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    He sounds like an ass! I think he needs to take a day off and take care of your LO by himself so he can see whose job is more difficult! See how much housework and cooking he'd get done taking care of a brand new baby 24/7!
     
  13. Kasia

    Kasia Well-Known Member

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    :hugs:I am so sorry you are going through this.:hugs:
     
  14. eagermom

    eagermom Aarshi's Mum

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    Hey sweetie u need to take care of yourself and lo that is all.... Fuck off everything else... Take car of your meals too if u r bfing to have a good supply.... Forget all other wrk for now... :hugs:

    Try explaing ur husband u just gave birth to a life... Is no easy thing..
     
  15. VieraSky

    VieraSky Mommy

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    I'm so sorry you're going through this hon :hug:

    Have you talked to your husband about this? Men can be really thick sometimes, and he may not even notice that he's acting this way.
     
  16. SparkleBug

    SparkleBug Well-Known Member

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    Amen!! :thumbup:
     

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