Almost 3 starting nursery in January but poops in pants and not the toilet :(

[Louise88]

My little boy turns 3 at the end of this month and he starts school in January he's done well with toilet training uses thr toilet confidently for wees but when he needs a poo he hides in a corner and does it in his pants, he won't use a potty either. He already goes to a nursery 3 days a week but this free 2 year old entitlement ends when he turns 3 with them hence why I'm moving him to a nursery at my dds school. His current nursery have told me it's normal for children his age to poo in their pants or hold their poo in and he will get it with time but I'm worried as I don't want him pooing his pants at school 🙁 any advice?

 

[Bevziibubble]

My daughter has this issue too. She withheld for years but now she just won't do it on the toilet. She will hold it in at school so it isn't really an issue on the school side of things, just at home.
We see a paediatrician and we have a nurse come out to do play therapy with her around trying to get more comfortable with using the toilet. It might be worth asking a doctor or health visitor if you could be referred to a paediatrician.

 

[familygirl30]

My son would wait until he had his bedtime nappy on to poo,this happened for about 3 months,he seemed scared to do it on the toilet/potty, he then said to me he was going to start pooing on the toilet when he was 3, well he decided the day before he turned 3 he was going to!
Try and not worry he will do it in own time,apparently it's very comon esp in boys

 

[Pearls18]

Does he see his sister go to the toilet? We've just potty trained our youngest and very much played the "your big brother does it, look!" card!

 

[Twag]

My son also has been toilet trained now for about a year and he is very happy for wee's in the toilet but #2 he holds onto until he has his pull up on for bed and then he goes! However, when he had a stomach bug he went on the toilet
He also starts pre-school in January but I am not worried as I know he will not go until the evening I believe it is quite normal but if it becomes an issue and he is holding it in and not going at all then I would see the GP

Good luck

 

[MindUtopia]

Just keep doing what you're doing. They're right, it's totally normal at this age and with patience and gentle encouragement, he will get it. My daughter is 3 and has been in nursery since well before she potty trained so they were there with us the whole way (she goes full-time now). They all have accidents. She's pretty good now as she's been potty trained for 1.5 years and it's rare but she still wets herself from time to time and occasionally has a poo accident (in her case, less trying to hold it and more just not making it in time, but still they can handle it). They really are used to it and will manage it just fine. Just send lots of clean clothes and a wet bag for sending home the dirty stuff. She comes home all the time talking about how this friend or that friend had an accident and pooed herself or himself. I think it's more of an issue when they get to school age, but so long as there is no reason why he is having a hard time with it (constipation, developmental reasons, etc.), he'll very likely get it before then and it will be fine. I was a kid who held my poo, mostly because it was painful because of constipation. If all is fine, then it might just take some more time. We found distraction and sitting in there and reading books helped.

 

[Louise88]

Thank you for the replies he had his first poo on the toilet yesterday (while I was making their beds) big step forward however he decided to wipe his bum with his hand then paint the bath �� lol a step is still a step though haha I did speak with the school yesterday though and they don't seem to fazed by it they said he's still just little and he will get the hang of it.

 

[Bevziibubble]

That's great that he used the toilet. Such good progress!

 

[BeachChica]

I have basically the same issue so interested in responses. I have a 33 month old... we did the weekend bottomless boot camp a few months back. She's wearing underwear all the time now except for sleeping ( then I put a pull-up on her). She's doing great with the pee but won't seem to poop in the potty. She'll go run off to a corner, do it in her pants and then tell us. Help! 😩

 

[justmeinlove]

I would like to join in as we have the same problem. We don't have her poo issues completely sorted yet (variable reliability of her to actually take her medicine) and so when she is backed up I cave and let her stay in pullups.
She seems weirdly not bothered by sitting in poo rather than using the toilet - but like the earlier poster, I am really starting to worry, with school coming up. I don't want her to get teased for poo issues...
I've asked for a referral but nothing yet. She just seems - far more comfortable pooping in a pullup than on the loo. If in pants she just poos there rather than trying to reach the toilet.
I really don't know what to do, and it's definitely starting to drive me crazy - I am over cleaning up her poop!

 

[justmeinlove]

I will add that she's pretty good with wee although she intrinsically would prefer to just use a pullup cos she worries about accidents.