Am I a bad person for ttc unmarried?

[Forsaken1]

Im 30 and BF 26, we love each other very much, Is it wrong of us to be ttc?
When I googled, all I could find where insults and no support, I have no friends to talk too about this and we have decided not to tell our folks etc until it happens..Very alone here...

 

[letshaveababy]

There are a lot of TTC's in here that aren't married!!

I wasn't married when I had my first 2 babies. Don't sweat it. If you're in love, are financially and emotionally ready for baby (as much as one can be), then that's all that matters!

A piece of paper doesn't make a parent. We ALL know that.

 

[Harveysmum369]

Of course it isn't wrong...if you and your partner want to TTC then go for it!Me and (now) hubby were TTC before we got married.xx

 

[sianyld]

god no! its fine! some people chose not too ever get married and still have children! im sure u'll find a good number of women here are unmarried before having their/ttc their children.
As long as u can provide a loving and stable home for ur child with plenty of love and care then i say go for it!!
we are gettin wed nxt yr but have been ttc for 15months! ideally i would love to have our first child by the end of the yr before we are wed!! Good luck chick and u do wat u want to do!! xx

 

[Mrs.Ping]

hi I am 30 and my dh ( even though we are not married)is also 26 and we have been Not Trying Not preventing for almost 4 years and ttc for a little over a year now!WE will be married soon but have been engaged for a while. If there is love then there need be nothing more!!People make parents not paper!Good luck!!

 

[karla1]

not at all me and my darling OH are not married (well actually we are just not to each other god that sound really bad bit of background both still not had divorces finalised) but we are so in love and can support a child and love it and hopefully bring it up right and that is all that matters to us. if anyone else has a problem with that then tough!!! i was married and never even dreamed of having children now i am not married to the most perfect guy ever and know having a baby is the right thing.

dont let anyone else judge you if it right for you and your partner i wish you all the luck in the world and send you loads of babydust hope it happens so for you x

 

[pichi]

of course not! it doesn't matter if you are married or not.

the way i see it is, marriage isn't as important and sacred as it used to be. this is my personal opinion. Me and my partner are in a very happy relationship and i see us continuing that way for many years to come.
our little girl is due November and to me there is nothing wrong with that. as long as you are in a happy relationship that will provide love to your baby that really is all that matters

 

[GreenEyes913]

Not wrong at all!
I'm 22 and my BF is 24, we arent married (we plan on it, just arent yet) and we are TTC.
Just ignore any of the bad stuff you read.
Everyone is entitled to their opinion. Some think the right thing to do is get married and then start TTC, and thats fine. But its also ok to TTC while not married.
People should just need to learn when to keep their opinions to themselves and realize what is right for them may not always be whats right for others.

 

[lintu]

oh god no, please don't think that.

It's a personal choice, you are choosing to bring a child into a loving, caring, supportive relationship that is the main thing!!

There is no difference between that and a ring, you will both love your child just as much and that is all that matters, and if people don't like it that who give a flying f**k what they think

Sorry little bit of a rant then

 

[Braven05]

Plenty of people out there will judge the decision to TTC when you're not married. I'm being extremely cautious about who I tell, because I don't want anyone judging us. My mother, who wishes she had *one* child to do it right (according to her, since both brothers are not married and have a few kids a piece), but I told her and she can just get over it. We know we're going to be together and even if marriage isn't in the immediate future, we're ready to build our family together. My OH and I have been TTC for 3 months - he's just finalizing his divorce and then eventually we'll tie the knot...but don't let others make you feel bad. Its your decision and as long as you're both on board with it, who cares?

 

[Bids]

most people dont even get married anymore none of my friends want to - only a handful of the people i went to school with are married!! times have changed its no big deal at all, wouldnt even worry about it doesnt change the parents you'll be!!! we got married cos we wanted....

 

[Sparkles237]

I wouldn't listen to anyone who says anything of the sorts. I'm 23 and had people say i should be out enjoying myself, i'm not married etc but i listen only to myself i know its the right time and i not fazed by anyone saying i should wait till i'm married, its your choice not anyone elses what you plan to do x

 

[DarlingMe]

Im in the same boat with alot of people here! Im 28, hes 31. We have been together for more years than alot of other couples I know who are married.

I think what is funny is people who think because we are making concious, well thought-out decision TTC it is not ok. Yet the person/couple who "accidentally" ends up PG its ok and everyone feels sorry for them or happy as can be, as the situation may be. So its ok if its an accident?!? (does my little rant make sense there?)

I know that we can provide a stable, loving home for a new life and we know that is what is important! Forsaken if you and your SO have that ability then it sounds like this is the right thing for you!

 

[mrsessex]

Im neutral on this one.

We're married (8 yrs together 11) but had our first child un married and second married

I absolutley hated having a different surname from my baby. Our son naturally took my then boyfriends surname...and for doc appointment and things we attended together and form filling just made me cringe lol

Thats just me though ..it was a 'paper' thing rather than a moral thing!!

Morally... times have changed and like someone else said lots of people leave marriage now... although for us....i LOVE being married

Each to their own as long as you're both happy foook wot anyone else thinks

 

[Janesworld]

Absolutely nothing wrong with that at all! Things are much different now days.

I actually got married while pregnant- 8 months pregnant. Had a huge wedding, white dress and all (I swear it wasn't as trashy as it sounds ) And the priest who married us was 8 months pregnant too....

So where was I going with that... idk... LOL, I ramble sometimes...

Good Luck to you!

 

[leopardprint]

That sounds really sweet Janesworld!

Back on topic: As long as you plan to stay together and to give the child a loving stable home then I don't see any problem with being un-married, me and my partner arn't married and are still pretty young, I see us getting more stick for being young rather than un-married, however my grandparents may want us to get married the minute they find out I'm pregnant!
Being married doesn't make you better parents!

xxx

 

[Janesworld]

Being married doesn't make you better parents!

xxx

That's it right there

 

[LaRockera]

The only people that will dare claim that you are committing a crime/a sin/ or I don't know what else if you have children before marriage are likely religious fundamentalist puritans, and you're better off staying well away from such ignorance.

Caution: I said religious fundamentalists, not just religious. I have respect and tolerance for all beliefs, as long as they're peaceful and respectful to the beliefs of others, and I don't accept intolerance from any side, whether that may be Christianity, Buddhism, agnosticism or atheism. I am underlining that.

As long as you have a stable home, and you're able to give emotional and financial support, and you realise that a baby is a baby, not a new toy (which I'm sure you do), nobody will tell you how to live your life.

 

[honey08]

i wudnt wana get married

and weve one and ttc2 x

 

[Dragonfly]

I am having my second child and we are not married. I dont see a prob with not being married as long as two people love each other and want a child.