Am I a bad person for ttc unmarried?

[Scamp]

Noo its not wrong at all?! Loads of people ttc without being married. Me and o.h ain't, I'd like to but its not a def that we will and it doesn't bother me in the slightest

xxx

 

[MommyWishes4]

As long as you know you're in a stable place and believe that you won't be bringing your child into a bad situation, then it seems fine. I went through my parents splitting up when I was a few years old and that affected me a lot for many years. I did my best to make my family enviroment as secure and stable as I could before TTC. As long as you've done that, no problem.

 

[jenb]

my parents have been engaged for 25 years and have 3 kids they have never been married and they never felt the need to and it never effected me - i am currently ttc with my fiance we have been together 7 years and just feel like its the right time to have a baby - we will get married in a few years but we dont feel the preasure to get married and we are happy together and that is all that matters good luck to you and your other half and dont pay any attention to what others have to say - if u feel its right then its right no matter what! x

 

[bnt2010]

Definitely not wrong! DH and I started TTC before we got married

 

[lizzypie]

in my eyes honey, you have to do whats right for you xxx im 30 and OH is 32, we are engaged and had planned to get married. instead, weve decided to ttc!!!!!!! we both feel its the right time in our lives and mariiage isnt as important to us as starting a family. I havent told some of my family coz ill know theyll not be over the moon, but tough. theyll all come running when ive a beautful baby!!!!(I hope lol)
If you and the OH are happy then tats all that mattersxxxxx Good luck to youxxxxxxxxxxx

 

[lisaf]

Just want to agree with everyone else that its not wrong at all as long as there is love, a stable relationship and financial support.
The only time I think its a bad idea is when the relationship is unstable and immature... and that goes regardless if there is a marriage certificate or not, lol.... there are some married people that should never bring children into such an unstable environment!! (I know one of them and as soon as she had the baby, the marriage ended because they realized they couldn't raise a child in such a hostile environment). Even then, it wasn't 'wrong' of them... just makes life harder.

 

[MissLaroo]

Thank you for posting about this! I was just having a moment over the fact that my OH got some of his questions to the doc regarding fertility and he said the doc blew him off and told him to get married first. I'm 37 and he is 32 we have been TTC for a year and a half. We have lots of support from friends and family. We are very in love and stable plan to marry soon but wanted to start trying since I'm AMA. Anyways so glad you posted it's been great to read all the positive replies! Just got a go ahead for clomid today good luck and baby dust everyone!

 

[Ms Elizabeth]

OMG NO marriage is not required!

Do I want to be married, yes....but no rush. Been there done that. Would rather focus on TTC.

Its a personal choice!

 

[littlemisscie]

We're not married! TTC #2 together, he has a son from his first marriage

 

[jessmke]

We are specifically trying to have a baby BEFORE we get married! Lol! OH is quite a bit older than me and he doesn't want to be too old to enjoy our little one, so we are focusing on making a baby now. Wedding plans can come later! In our eyes we are as good as married anyways, been together a long time and own a house together, so for us a marriage certificate really isn't going to change anything.

 

[sarasmile]

Forsaken1 - Sounds like you have plenty of support here! I had my son out of wedlock and let me tell you... I'm from what we call the Bible Belt here in America where everyone thinks such actions are quite the sin. Answer to that - don't associate with those people who judge and don't care what others think. I'm sure you can find a handful of people in your life that can support you. Does it feel right? Does it make sense for you? Then go for it. Love is not a piece of paper, nor does it follow rules. You know whats right! These girls all said it

 

[Mrsgoodhart]

Short answer: It doesn't matter. Being married will not make you better parents. Love, both for eachother and the baby, will do more for you all in the long run than being legally married.
Longer answer: I have a six year old son that was very much planned and wanted and tried for when I was definitely NOT married to his father. The relationship lasted a year and a half longer after he was born, but if we're being honest- it was doomed from the start. He now has two parents who love him more than anything in the whole world, that just don't happen to be either married OR together. We coexist as his parents rather nicely. Better friends than partners. I am now married (to the man I truly believe I was made to meet) and we are expecting a baby in May. It feels nice to do it "right", yes- but honestly....mostly because it's a pain in the ass to have a different name than my son, lol.
Basically what I'm getting at is that anyone who judges you for this isn't worth your time. I'm not real religious but I think there's a saying- judge not, lest ye be judged. Ya know??

 

[littlemisscie]

I love the idea of having all my kids at my wedding!

 

[heaveneats]

nope!! OH and i were un married and young when we had DD we now are engaged and have been ttc #2! so marriage was an after thought, it didint matter, we loved eachother and thats what counts, and what will get you through all the sleepless nights, not a ring

 

[LouOscar01]

I'm unmarried but TTC. My fear about it is what his parents will say and what the parents and staff at the school I work at will say (it's a Church of England school).

 

[Catiren]

im(20) pregnant with my boyfriend(21) and we've been together for over 1 year. we planned our baby though. we've also been talking about marriage for a while now. thats planned too but ofcourse he decides he wants a ring he cant afford unless he saves money out of the next 8 paychecks. none of our family has shamed us. family, friends of family, coworkers, and our friends are all extremely excited for us and cant wait to know the gender of the baby already.

 

[Zephram]

Why on earth would not being married make you a bad person? It's not the 1950s! You're not going to be publicly shamed for being unwed!

OH and I are not married. Technically we are engaged, but we aren't getting married anytime soon, if ever. And we couldn't give a toss. No one has ever judged us for it, no one ever will. I'd like to think in 2014 we've moved on from that kind of thing.

 

[LilRu]

Don't worry about what anyone else thinks... It's perfectly okay, and there are many wonderful, not married, parents out there. (Maybe even doing better jobs than some married ones, LOL).
Just PLEASE make sure your man is on board with TTC. If he's on the same page as you, and you both love each other, then go make some babies!!! If he's hesitant, then maybe it's a good idea to spend some more quality time together just the 2 of you and he will be ready soon enough. Lots of love your way!!! Don't ever feel judged by anyone, you and your man know what it best for your relationship and your lives together.