Skywalker
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I gave birth 3 months ago and in many ways I feel like I'm not recovering as fast as most of the women I talk to.
Vaginally and perineum-wise I feel much better, almost entirely back to normal. But I can't have a bowel movement without TONS of pain and tons of residual soreness and a burning feeling afterwards which makes sitting for 40 min every 2-3 hours to breastfeed oh-so-much-fun, and a section of my right outer thigh is numb but I can feel pressure on it. I insisted the doctors take another look at me because I was sure they'd see some damage but I was told I don't even look like I've had a baby down there and there are no visible hemerroids and my doctors don't seem to think it's likely that I have any type of anal fissure or tear or even nerve damage, but they don't offer me any other reason for my continued pain other than shrugging and saying, "Well, you just had a baby a few months ago."
This is my first baby, I didn't tear, didn't have an episiotomy, didn't have an epidural, had a relatively straight-forward, drug-free labor and delivery, had a pretty good recovery time. But I feel like my ass gets kicked (literally and figuratively) every day by the pain I'm in. I've run into problems like a tongue tie with my son that made breastfeeding extremely challenging and we finally sorted that out with a breast shield, which we're still using (his tongue tie was so minor the specialist didn't want to snip it) and I've had the clogged ducts from hell that I'm finally recovering from but were also incredibly painful, in conjunction with milk blisters which hurt like craziness.
I'm single and I live alone with my baby and I don't think that anyone gets how hard that is, but I also feel like some people are making me feel like it should be a breeze. I've been getting somewhat judgmental comments from a few family members about the amount of work I should be able to get done from home, how I should go out for walks in my neighborhood more, how they think I breastfeed my son too often (every 2-2.5 hours when he's hungry), how my son naps too much, etc etc etc. My own mother was scolding me for waddling and walking partially bent over only 2-3 weeks after my delivery and told me to stop being so careful about not carrying heavy things because I was just babying my body too much. One of my son's aunts was pregnant at the same time as me and gave birth a few months after I did and already has pictures all over Facebook of her travelling and camping and swimming and hosting parties and baking etc etc. She came home from the hospital I think the same day that she delivered her son, granted he was her third child...
Anyway... I just feel like it is super hard for me to even deal with the basic mechanics of breastfeeding when my butt is in so much pain that even with daily doses of Ibuprofen it still is incredibly painful to sit on and it's hard for me to lug the trash and recycling down three flights of stairs with my newborn who has decided he now hates the carriers that he used to love... it's hard for me to cook and clean and work from home and get all of my admissions stuff for my college degree program in and oh yeah, I'm also moving in two weeks so I'm having to pack up everything and move by myself. When I asked for help from my Aunt, she acted like it was the biggest imposition and I just mentioned it being hard and asked if she could just come hold my son for a few hours so I could pack and she huffed and said, "I'll do my best but you'll figure it out. You'll get it done. You just have to do what you have to do." Um, thanks? She doesn't have kids and I don't think gets how hard it is when my son won't let me put him down or be out of his sight for longer than a few minutes sometimes.
I feel like I'm doing the best that I can but sometimes I feel like other people either expect too much from me or I maybe don't expect enough from myself. Does anyone else find it hard to do the normal tasks of life like cleaning, cooking, exercising, working, etc.? Am I just being a big fat wuss?
I don't know whether to be proud of everything I manage to get accomplished all by myself or if I should be being harder on myself for not getting more done, in other words, and I also feel like I'm having more of a rough time with recovery and it's probably likely that nerve damage is to blame for my pain and other women don't have that. Grrr. So tough sometimes I don't know how I can make it through with the sleep deprivation and all the challenges I have.
Sorry for my whinge. Thanks for reading.
Vaginally and perineum-wise I feel much better, almost entirely back to normal. But I can't have a bowel movement without TONS of pain and tons of residual soreness and a burning feeling afterwards which makes sitting for 40 min every 2-3 hours to breastfeed oh-so-much-fun, and a section of my right outer thigh is numb but I can feel pressure on it. I insisted the doctors take another look at me because I was sure they'd see some damage but I was told I don't even look like I've had a baby down there and there are no visible hemerroids and my doctors don't seem to think it's likely that I have any type of anal fissure or tear or even nerve damage, but they don't offer me any other reason for my continued pain other than shrugging and saying, "Well, you just had a baby a few months ago."
This is my first baby, I didn't tear, didn't have an episiotomy, didn't have an epidural, had a relatively straight-forward, drug-free labor and delivery, had a pretty good recovery time. But I feel like my ass gets kicked (literally and figuratively) every day by the pain I'm in. I've run into problems like a tongue tie with my son that made breastfeeding extremely challenging and we finally sorted that out with a breast shield, which we're still using (his tongue tie was so minor the specialist didn't want to snip it) and I've had the clogged ducts from hell that I'm finally recovering from but were also incredibly painful, in conjunction with milk blisters which hurt like craziness.
I'm single and I live alone with my baby and I don't think that anyone gets how hard that is, but I also feel like some people are making me feel like it should be a breeze. I've been getting somewhat judgmental comments from a few family members about the amount of work I should be able to get done from home, how I should go out for walks in my neighborhood more, how they think I breastfeed my son too often (every 2-2.5 hours when he's hungry), how my son naps too much, etc etc etc. My own mother was scolding me for waddling and walking partially bent over only 2-3 weeks after my delivery and told me to stop being so careful about not carrying heavy things because I was just babying my body too much. One of my son's aunts was pregnant at the same time as me and gave birth a few months after I did and already has pictures all over Facebook of her travelling and camping and swimming and hosting parties and baking etc etc. She came home from the hospital I think the same day that she delivered her son, granted he was her third child...
Anyway... I just feel like it is super hard for me to even deal with the basic mechanics of breastfeeding when my butt is in so much pain that even with daily doses of Ibuprofen it still is incredibly painful to sit on and it's hard for me to lug the trash and recycling down three flights of stairs with my newborn who has decided he now hates the carriers that he used to love... it's hard for me to cook and clean and work from home and get all of my admissions stuff for my college degree program in and oh yeah, I'm also moving in two weeks so I'm having to pack up everything and move by myself. When I asked for help from my Aunt, she acted like it was the biggest imposition and I just mentioned it being hard and asked if she could just come hold my son for a few hours so I could pack and she huffed and said, "I'll do my best but you'll figure it out. You'll get it done. You just have to do what you have to do." Um, thanks? She doesn't have kids and I don't think gets how hard it is when my son won't let me put him down or be out of his sight for longer than a few minutes sometimes.
I feel like I'm doing the best that I can but sometimes I feel like other people either expect too much from me or I maybe don't expect enough from myself. Does anyone else find it hard to do the normal tasks of life like cleaning, cooking, exercising, working, etc.? Am I just being a big fat wuss?
I don't know whether to be proud of everything I manage to get accomplished all by myself or if I should be being harder on myself for not getting more done, in other words, and I also feel like I'm having more of a rough time with recovery and it's probably likely that nerve damage is to blame for my pain and other women don't have that. Grrr. So tough sometimes I don't know how I can make it through with the sleep deprivation and all the challenges I have.
Sorry for my whinge. Thanks for reading.
