Am I an idiot???

[laura3103]

Ok here goes


I met my babies dad 4 years ago we were together 18 months then I found out I was expecting my DD he's 10 years older than me and already had 2 children's from a previous relationship so he didn't feel that he wanted to do the whole baby thing all over again so we split.

I didn't hear from him until my DD was 11 months and even then he said he wasn't ready to meet her but I felt I needed to stay in contact with him just incase I ever need medical history etc.

Well when DD was 16 months old I felt I would like another baby and being a little old fashioned I wanted them to have the same dad so I asked him to help he said yeap (thought he would get more than he actually got) I did ovulation test and luckily caught first try. I informed him I was pregnant and told him what I was having my beautiful little boy he then decides he would like to know now I'm having a boy but still couldn't bring himsf to me meet my beautiful little girl so I cut all contact.

Well we have been in touch since my little boy as been born and yesterday he came round my house to see me (thought i best get back on the wagon and would prefer for it to be with the only person I have been with for 4 and half years) well before he left my little boy woke up from his nap so got to meet his dad .

It was sooo lovely to see him talking to his little boy as we were actually talking about the kids when he first arrived he asked who they took after. Problem is all this from yesterday as stirred old feeling up in me and I'm not sure I like it. It wasn't the sex but just seeing him with my boy made me realised how much I would live my kids to know there dad and how much I once loved him.

I know I'm mad and I should never have slept with him again but it's weird after so long apart it only feels like I saw him the day before we just have this connection if u know what I mean there are no awkward silences and he understands my sense of humour ( told him I was gonna close me eyes and think he was Gavin Henson he nearly wet himself laughing and replied that's gonna be hard I don't have his muscles he's proper skinny).


So sorry for the long post but don't really have anyone to talk to cause my friends think I'm a fool.

 

[Laura2919]

Well for a start I wouldnt want to be in a relationship with anyone that only accepted one of my children and secondly I wouldnt let him win you over completely, you said he came to see you.. Not your children.

Time to move on I think.

 

[teal]

I'm sorry sweetie but I agree with Laura. It's awful that he is only accepting one of his children and from what you've said it's because he's a boy? How would that make your daughter feel?

It sounds like it's only going to cause more heartache for you. Sending you massive hugs xx

 

[laura3103]

Thanks girls it's something I have been telling myself but need someone else to tell me too.

So i'm officially an idiot

 

[jessrabbit]

I dont think you are an idiot at all, you are are human being and its hard not to have feelings for someone that helped you create such wonderful creatures.

I do agree though that unless he wants to be involved with the whole package that it is time to move on xx

 

[Laura2919]

I dont think your an idiot at all. Believe me I bet there are lots of people out there who wanted to take a partner back for reasons like yours.. I went through that 'shall I ask him back' stage, its because its easy and its what you have known but you need to move on. He cant accept your daughter but he can accept your son. Thats just not on. Your relationship would never work if he ignored your daughter and spent loads of time with your son, think how your daughter would feel.

 

[bambinoccino]

I dont think you are an idiot but I think you have made a mistake! He cannot do one or the other, it has to be all or nothing.

It is awful for your daughter to be rejected like this, especially having two older daughter and "his son" now being a novelty.