Am I being a lazy mom?

[jessie_m]

So LO loves the TV. Obviously I don't sit her in a chair in front of it and let her watch it all day. She is just now in the past couple of weeks doing more independent play, but she gets bored easily. What seems to work for her is if I put either her play mat or her swing with dangle toys in viewing distance of the tv. She'll play for a bit, watch for a bit, play again, etc. This gives me time to do my homework for my online classes and to do things like chores and work out otherwise I have to stay up later than I want to, or give up time with OH to do these things, and I have no 'me' or 'us' time with OH. I just feel so bad because I feel like I'm letting her toys and the tv entertain her more than I do.

When she was first born I was very anti-tv, but it would calm her for a few minutes when she was having screaming fits from gas pain, so i became a little more ok with her watching it more and more. She only watches children's shows like Curious George, and only while she is playing with toys as well. She'll only do it for around half an hour-45 min then she starts whining and then we play together on the floor.

I guess I just want some reassurance that I'm not being a lazy mom. I'm open to opinions and anything you guys think, just be nice to me. Lol.

 

[Trying4Angel1]

As much as we want to, we cant give our LO's 100% attention all the time! You're not lazy at all!!

 

[kaiser246]

edit

 

[2ndtimeluckyX]

Not lazy, just normal lol

I was the same, very anti-tv before lo was born but now it's not so bad. My lo is only 12 weeks so doesn't watch it as such but she gets excited when she hears childrens songs. I put babytv on but turn her chair away so the focus is not on watching it. I MUST buy some good baby cd's

I don't think the tv is all that different from her winnie the pooh lightshow in her room lol (kiddin)

 

[XJessicaX]

I did this, I think it helped my LO to self amuse, to be content playing by herself and also made her love tummy time!

 

[oblada18]

My LO has not shown any interest in the TV but when she does I am open to some odd children shows to keep her entertained once in a while...Its probably not very good for the eyes and brain development so I would limit it to maybe 20 mins max a day..dunno, will see when I get there

 

[Mrs_Random]

I always have the TV on during the day, and LO doesn't pay much attention to it.

He will be playing and now and then it will catch his attention but not for long and he will go back to playing.

I have used Disney channel to entertain him once or twice, just gave me chance to get dressed and ready for appointments.

 

[Ozzieshunni]

My son watches The Simpsons, CSI, Criminal Minds, etc. Whatever I have on during the day. He's going to be warped

Seriously though, you're not lazy. My LO lets me know when he wants me. He's content to play on the floor or run around in his walker. Nothing says we have to be "on" 24/7

 

[OliveMartini]

When I had DD1 I had the TV on 24/7.

I was single and HATED having a quiet house. Normally I just had the radio on, so no picture but constant noise. But when I needed to get housework done etc. I would switch on Cbeebies for 20 minutes. I would put her in the Jumperoo or bouncer and crack on. She would have toys to play with but if she got bored then she could turn her head and have a look. I wouldn't say she 'watched it' but it did the job.

Now I have it on when I am getting on with DD2/housework and can't give her my attention constantly.

Call it lazy if you want, I call it normal... I'm no superwoman lol.

 

[patch2006uk]

We didn't let LO see any TV at all until recently. I think it's actually worse to have it on in the background, as it encourages a short concentration span, and distracts a baby from anything else they're doing. My LO now will be playing happily but stop dead and stare at the screen when the TV comes on. It really does zone him out of the world. The official guidelines are not to let children watch TV until they're 2, but I don't really see how that's possible in most modern homes! But the TV certainly does change his behaviour to much more passive.

I personally wouldn't be happy to leave a young baby in front of the TV for close to an hour, but I think 15 mins or so while you go to the loo, quickly cook dinner or have a super speedy shower is ok.

I used to wear LO while I did anything around the house (still do if he's being a pain), which kept him calm and let me have my hands free. I also occasionally took his play mat into the bathroom or bedroom floor to pop him down while I sorted myself out.

I know I was the only one of my antenatal group who didn't let LO watch TV from very young. I just wanted to share my experience

 

[Ozzieshunni]

patch, whose guidelines? Alex has a great attention span and will focus intently on something for a good period of time.

 

[Lozzy_Loo]

my lo is lying on her playmat in fron of the tv nearly all day, she loves it

 

[patch2006uk]

patch, whose guidelines? Alex has a great attention span and will focus intently on something for a good period of time.

Let me try and find it. It's to do with the pictures moving on a TV much faster than anything moves in real life, and the cuts and edits being really fast, encouraging their brains to expect things to move at that pace all the time, leading to a child who isn't as tolerant of things that go slower.

Edited to add

From the AAP https://aappolicy.aappublications.org/cgi/content/full/pediatrics;107/2/423
"Discourage television viewing for children younger than 2 years, and encourage more interactive activities that will promote proper brain development, such as talking, playing, singing, and reading together. "
https://pediatrics.aappublications.org/content/113/4/708.abstract

https://www.babycenter.com/0_tv-watching-guidelines-for-toddlers_11746.bc
https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2009/01/090113074419.htm
https://news.softpedia.com/news/Early-Infant-Exposure-to-TV-Raises-Autism-Risks-38488.shtml <-- I think this one overstates the risk, but it's a point worth considering IMO
https://www.wired.com/wiredscience/2011/10/infant-tv-guidelines/

Quote from a study (can't post the link as it's just taking me to a google docs log-in window)
"Taken together, the results suggest that adult-directed television pro- grams may disrupt early focused attention, toy play, and parent-child in- teractions, but that the effect of exposure to child-directed programs for very young children may vary depending on the specific kind of program. Certain programs designed for very young children may well be beneficial while others may be detrimental for cognitive outcomes."

I just decided that based on the evidence that it isn't really beneficial, and it may well be harmful, that I'd limit his exposure to it. He watches a little more now, just while we wait for tea to cook. It helps that we don't actually have a tv 'set', and instead we have a projector, so you can't really see it in the day anyway!

 

[Ozzieshunni]

patch, whose guidelines? Alex has a great attention span and will focus intently on something for a good period of time.

Let me try and find it. It's to do with the pictures moving on a TV much faster than anything moves in real life, and the cuts and edits being really fast, encouraging their brains to expect things to move at that pace all the time, leading to a child who isn't as tolerant of things that go slower.

I'd like to see the study. I don't know if it would apply because no one is placing their child in front of the TV with no ability to move.

 

[patch2006uk]

patch, whose guidelines? Alex has a great attention span and will focus intently on something for a good period of time.

Let me try and find it. It's to do with the pictures moving on a TV much faster than anything moves in real life, and the cuts and edits being really fast, encouraging their brains to expect things to move at that pace all the time, leading to a child who isn't as tolerant of things that go slower.

I'd like to see the study. I don't know if it would apply because no one is placing their child in front of the TV with no ability to move.

I posted some links and stuff ^^ up there

 

[Brookey]

well the only way I get my breakfast in the morning is to turn on Tinga Tinga Tales!

 

[patch2006uk]

Just spotted this quote on one of the links

&#8220;For example, the American Academy of Paediatrics discourages TV viewing in the first two years of life, but only six per cent of parents are aware of this advice despite ongoing publicity."

So it's really not a widely known recommendation!

 

[JZW]

My LO likes Gok's fashion fix. My mil watched it with her and she was apparently smiling and gurgling at the catwalk. Now my mil is convinced LO will be a supermodel when she grows up

 

[MizzDeeDee]

Not for a single second do I believe that autism is caused by TV. Autism has clear implications as being genetic.. and so does ADHD by the way. Not to say that there aren't environmental factors that might help a genetic issue to manifest...but there has to be a predisposition in that child's genetics for it to manifest.

If anything, I would imagine TV would cause a child to hyperfocus...not have a short attention span.

I think that background noise from a TV is okay. I think limited TV watching is okay. I think sitting your baby or any child for that matter in front of a TV as a form of babysitting for long periods of times (hours and hours) is probably not very good for any child. But neither is them being on these damn computers, cell phones, and video consoles either.

 

[patch2006uk]

Not for a single second do I believe that autism is caused by TV. Autism has clear implications as being genetic.. and so does ADHD by the way. Not to say that there aren't environmental factors that might help a genetic issue to manifest...but there has to be a predisposition in that child's genetics for it to manifest.

If anything, I would imagine TV would cause a child to hyperfocus...not have a short attention span.

I think that background noise from a TV is okay. I think limited TV watching is okay. I think sitting your baby or any child for that matter in front of a TV as a form of babysitting for long periods of times (hours and hours) is probably not very good for any child. But neither is them being on these damn computers, cell phones, and video consoles either.

I totally agree regarding autism. I just added that one in there as it's just an alternative view point. Although, if people are worried about autism and the MMR vaccine, even though there's no proven link between the 2, people may want to reconsider allowing TV viewing too. If we're talking risk factors, surely if you were worried, you'd want to eliminate as many a possible?

I disagree about it being ok to have a TV on in the background. The research backs this up as well - sitting and watching a show in detail together and discussing it is better than having it on all the time. The constant noise encourages less conversations, as well as having potentially detrimental impacts on attention span.