Am I being completely unreasonable?

[Dragon_Chaser]

Before my DH broke his arm almost a week ago he was working tommorrow (The 4th) so I hadn't made plans with my family because his families plans for the 4th had also changed. Normally when thier plans for the holiday's change ours get shoved to the wayside and I figured this year I wasn't going to make a big deal out of it and just not make plans. His grandmother turns into the rage monster when things don't go her way and I just can't deal with it while pregnant you see.

Last night he dropped the bomb of he assumed I had made plans to attend my family's get together so he had already told everyone we were going to be unavaliable. Not too much of a change right. I was okay with that. Then he asks if we could bring his youngest brother. Also okay with that since I have a brother his age that he could play with. His father and step mother are late and we were supposed to leave almost an hour ago. His grandmother called to check in and make sure we were still waiting. I made mention of his brother and waiting for him and she goes on I know your husband told me about that when our plans changed.

Now we just agreed on the addition of taking his brother this morning. But apperently my DH made plans that we were taking him over a week ago and I'm just hearing about it now. Instead of talking to me about the fact that I was actually the last to know about this change even though he told me that it was my choice he just walks away because I'm too hormonal to talk to.

That's his excuse for everything these days- 'I spent 80 dollars on 10 Disney pins, but I didn't say anything because you're too hormonal." "I didn't tell you that I ordered a new hard drive for the old computer I got for free because you're too moody.'

I find myself pissed at the fact that I was the last to know about these plans because we're married. Shouldn't we be making decisions together instead of him running off to Grandma dearest to make them with her? Shouldn't we at least talk? Not by his opinion apparently- I'm too moody after all.

 

[2have4kids]

Be it a man saying you're on your AF or 'hormonal' I think it's chauvinistic. Tbh my DH is more moody than I am because he's chronically not sleeping well. He darn't say those things to me otherwise he'll get slapped around by my inner biatch. Roar! But when I'm tired or not feeling good I tend stay quiet rather than argue over everyday stuff - have no energy for it. I hate secrets as do I hate not being told till last minute. So those are my rules, tell me when you know and tell me everything (be honest!) Guaranteed to avoid a negative response when he's respecting those few rules.

You're DH is adding fuel to the fire by calling you names/being disrespectful on top of everyday issues. Calmly tell him what your boundaries are: calling a woman hormonal is chauvinistic and not the way to handle any kind of communication.

 

[Dragon_Chaser]

Thank you for your response. We got everything smoothed over after he finally decided to talk to me and went to the get together with his younger brother and had fun for the most part. But the wild child at the get together was not expected however- and the little boy (No relation by blood, a family friend's son) who decided my poor tummy was a punching bag, was not such a good experiance.
We're keeping an eye open for spotting and cramping like we were advised to and DH is doting like crazy. I'm sore where the little monster decided to hit me but I got out of his reach pretty quick... I swear I have never wanted to smack a child like I wanted to then. But that child had so many adults and other children lecturing him why hitting a pregnant woman's stomach was not good it wasn't funny.
What worried me about the kid is he shrug the lectures off then boasted about how he strangled his sister all the time so he didn't see the big deal in hitting someone in the stomach. My DH almost killed him after it happened though. Sheash, the kid's parent's weren't even there- his 16 year old sister brought him and she was too busy to be bothered other than shooting me dirty looks and muttering about over reactions and attention seekers. All I did was get out of the little creeps hitting range and protect my tummy. I was more shocked and horrified that he thought that kind of behavior was okay then angry at that moment. I got angry later on.

Enough of me being whiny, I'm supposed to be winding down so I can get to bed. I have a pancake breakfast to help out with in the morning (6am urg). My DH is a firefighter in our township and their department is doing a fund raiser for their burn camp.