Am I being greedy?

[pinkmummy]

I told my sister yesterday that she needs to pay £30 for her bridesmaid dress. She gets £30 a week EMA from college and doesn't have anything to pay such as board to my mum and dad or anything.

I told her that I need the money by the end of December which gives her plenty of time to save up. All the bridesmaids are paying for their own as we are already over budget!

My mum just phoned me and said that I should pay for the dress because my dad is giving us £1000 towards the wedding already.

Am I being greedy is saying that she can pay for her own? Everyone else is so why shouldn't she? Chris's sister is paying for her own (admitedly shes a lot older) but still even if she puts £5 a week away! I am buying the shoes and necklaces as gifts which will be costing about £15-£20.

I told my mum if she wasn't paying then she wasn't being bridesmaid. Its not like I'm asking her for all the money now, as I said even just £5 a week!

 

[xXhayleyXx]

I wouldnt of dreamed of asking for money from my bridesmaids, fair enough they were my daughters but if i had had my sisters or older friends then i still wouldnt of. Doesnt seem right at all to me but thats just my oppinion. Hope u get things sorted xxx

 

[buttonnose82]

not at all, when i was at college i had to pay for my bridesmaid dress for my sisters wedding, and my shoes, it set me back 150 pounds, so 30 is nothing!

 

[caz81]

i think it is a little unfair if she only gets 30 per week to ask her to give a whole weeks money, i know it is not a lot of money but maybe it is to her?

 

[pinkmummy]

I'm not asking her to give a whole weeks wages. Even if it was just £5 a week. She has until next September to pay for it so its not like I'm saying give me £30 now

 

[Linzi]

I dont think you're being greedy at all hun x

 

[Vici]

I don't think you're being greedy at all. Traditionally BM didn't pay for dresses, BUT we are in the 21st century now. My BM are all paying half towards their dresses

 

[EstelSeren]

My bridesmaids, or their parents, are paying for their dresses, apart from my flower girl but her dress is being made along with mine and won't add much onto the cost of the materials. However, I'm also letting them choose their own so it's something they will definitely wear again in the future and they knew that this was the case from the start. Personally though I think that she should understand. She's old enough to get EMA so she's certainly old enough to understand your point of view!! Perhaps sit down with her and go through how much weddings cost with her. I'm sure that she probably has an idea of how she wants her wedding to be, however far off that might still seem, so you could go through how much her fantasy wedding could cost so she can get an idea of the scale and how her paying £30 would be of a huge help. I'm sure she wants to help and wouldn't want to upset you. Point out again that the other bridesmaids are paying for theirs and that you can't give her preferential treatment. I'm sure it'll all work out fine.

All the best,
Beca :wave:

 

[babybaillie]

I think thats a bit out of order sorry. u cant ask someone to be a bridesmaid then pay towards the dress..... thats the brides responsibility

 

[lesleyann]

any BM's i have will be buying there dresses money dont go on trees and tbh i dont need BM's so if they want to be one they can pay

 

[subaru555]

She might just rely on that money too much - I remember when I had that sort of money at college and I didn't pay digs ever. It's probably a bit much for her evern though it is a mere £30. You just need to try and see it from her perspective.

I'm paying for my BM's dresses but that was the decision that we incorporated into our wedding plans.

 

[pinkmummy]

any BM's i have will be buying there dresses money dont go on trees and tbh i dont need BM's so if they want to be one they can pay

Thats exactly what I said. I would have happily just had Caitlin as a flower girl and Thomas page boy and thats it but my mum said I had to ask her as shes my sister! Even though we dont really get on! All the other bridesmaids are fine paying for their own

 

[HannahGraceee]

Correct me if im wrong, but im pretty sure its christmas that you get your EMA bonus which is £100

 

[pinkmummy]

Shes just got £260 backdated too!

 

[WhisperOfHope]

I told my sister yesterday that she needs to pay £30 for her bridesmaid dress. She gets £30 a week EMA from college and doesn't have anything to pay such as board to my mum and dad or anything.

I told her that I need the money by the end of December which gives her plenty of time to save up. All the bridesmaids are paying for their own as we are already over budget!

My mum just phoned me and said that I should pay for the dress because my dad is giving us £1000 towards the wedding already.

Am I being greedy is saying that she can pay for her own? Everyone else is so why shouldn't she? Chris's sister is paying for her own (admitedly shes a lot older) but still even if she puts £5 a week away! I am buying the shoes and necklaces as gifts which will be costing about £15-£20.

I told my mum if she wasn't paying then she wasn't being bridesmaid. Its not like I'm asking her for all the money now, as I said even just £5 a week!

nope not being greedy i asked all my bridesmaids to pay for there own all agreed to too, but in the end i cheeted and am using dresses from my best friends weddin g lol

 

[pinkmummy]

Lol Well I have tried my best to keep costs down and Im getting them off ebay for £30. I would have loved to get some that were £150 which are the first ones I ever saw but the fact is I don' want them to pay £150 for a dress for my wedding. She would have bought a new dress anyway!

 

[Tasha]

I dont think it is harsh, weddings are expensive and well every little helps. And tbh your not asking her to pay for a £100 dress or something. My sister was my bridesmaid and she brought her own, which I do not think was out of order, we could afford what we could afford and she would of had to pay for a dress if she was just a normal guest

 

[Aidan's Mummy]

I Dont think its pit of order at all. Being a bridesmaid is a privalege not a right and at the end of the day she isnt paying rent bills etc so wyh shouldnt she.

Not unrealsiable at all
xx

 

[Tasha]

Lol Well I have tried my best to keep costs down and Im getting them off ebay for £30. I would have loved to get some that were £150 which are the first ones I ever saw but the fact is I don' want them to pay £150 for a dress for my wedding. She would have bought a new dress anyway!

LMAO I just wrote basically the same thing but was writing when you posted this lol

 

[pinkmummy]

Lol Well I have tried my best to keep costs down and Im getting them off ebay for £30. I would have loved to get some that were £150 which are the first ones I ever saw but the fact is I don' want them to pay £150 for a dress for my wedding. She would have bought a new dress anyway!

LMAO I just wrote basically the same thing but was writing when you posted this lol

LOL I just seen it! x