am i being selfish?

[xxleannexx]

so last night me and oh had a huge fall out about wedding dress shopping. basically me and my mom are really close like best friends and we have always planned that it will be just us two who go wedding dress shopping as i thnk its really special and was looking forward to sharing that special moment with my mom. now oh has piped up saying "u are taking my mom with you arent u" i mean i do like his mom and so does my mom but she is very opinionated and i really dont want her to ruin it, i think it would upset my mom more than anyone as im her only daughter and she is really looking forward to it being just us too. he says im being really selfish and unfair as she doesnt have a daughter, and we havnt spoken since. so do you thnk im being selfish?

 

[trumpetbum]

I don't know hon, I suppose it depends on your relationship with your mil. I did take my mil and she can be very opinionated but she ended up in tears and it was lovely. My mum was the one who was involved in everything else though and basically planned the whole wedding with me. She might surprise you and keep you for settling for anything less than the perfect dress, but if by opinionated you mean tactless or nasty then it might be worth being selfish.

 

[Connah'sMommy]

Im in the same situation as you hun!
My mom wants to come with me just me and her as she is also paying for the dress but MIL wants to come too. They will both want to go to different places allover the damn county cos they compete all the time.

It is annoying but i cant really say no...well i could but id feel awful

 

[carbafe]

Well my MIL came with me on some of the visits as I went shopping 3 times. My mum, MIL and bridesmaids came the first two trips to visit different shops and then just my mum came back with me to try on my favourite dress and order it (on Valentines day last year ) I think my MIL was really pleased to be involved and she got tears in her eyes as well But it was really nice to go back for my second look with just my mum and order my veil and jewellery as well. Maybe you could do something like that. Or if you really want just your mum could your MIL maybe go shopping for the bridesmaid dresses ?

 

[dontworry]

I like carbafe's idea!
I don't think you're being selfish at all... it's your wedding, you can be as selfish as you like, right?

 

[belladonna]

My mil wanted to come and I said no. I wanted it to be a special day with me and my mum only and don't want anyone one to see the dress before the big day.

 

[xxleannexx]

well OH proposed yday morning !!!!
so can officially start wedding planning, he understood me eventually and took his mom with him to help him pick my engagement so everyone is happy now, im more happy for her to be involved in anything else it was just me dress, so i am very very happy. thanks for all your ideas though they def would have been options x

 

[plutosblue]

No you are not being selfish, I originally went with my mum and my MIL but most shops were shut and I didn't find anything, so I went back a week later with just my mum (without telling my OH or my MIL) and I got the dress of my dreams, all booked and almost all paid for.

I broke the news when I got back home, selfish ? I don't think so, she has a daughter and will do the same with her, my mum wanted it to just be the two of us and well, it is my day and she will have to understand that, she seemed ok with it since she is helping me with the flowers and other things so it isn't like I am excluding her, its just the dress is special.

So I would either, go with your mum and MIL have a look but don't pick the dress until you are alone with your mum, or just don't tell her and include her in other things. Remember it is YOUR day.