Am I being silly?

[pinkneon]

I didn't know where to put this, sorry if it's in the wrong place

I've never been that good at making friends. I'm quite a shy person, and hate being in a new situation around new people. When I first moved back to Brighton, obviously I didn't know anyone. But my Mom (who was actually talking to me at the time - shock horror!) introduced me to her church. Since I was 5 I'd been brougt up going to church every single Sunday, it was what we did, so to begin with I started goin out of habit. I made a couple of friends (who are all mostly older or younger than me) - though not many - and now I only go to the church occasionally. My friends at church are the only people in Brighton who I know, so usually I go there once in a while just to show my face.
Anyway, about 2 and half years ago I joined the YA's (Young Adult's) group. It's for everyone aged 18-30. I went to a couple of social evenings, but felt really out of place. Most of them have grown up together and know each other well, and because I'm quite shy I tend to just sit there and everyone ignores me I stopped going because of that, but also because most of the events went on til quite late at night and I was never able to get a lift home, which would mean I'd walk for a hour or so in the dark. I haven't been to a YA's event for absolutely ages, and to be honest hardly ever talk to any of them. I then had my baby.
Someone from the YA's has just invited me to a quiz night thing they're doing. I don't want to go because it finishes late (although that's an excuse because I could leave at any time!). I hate being in a huge group of people, and as most of them are bringing college or work friends there's going to be loads of people there. I haven't had a night out though in almost 2 years. I usually try to avoid social events as much as I possibly can because they scare the hell out of me. So I've said I might go, knowing that I won't. But am I being silly?? I mean, at almost 23years old I should be able to hang out with other people my age and have fun. I should be able to have a night out, and it shouldn't scare the hell out of me to go to an event like that. There is no one there I know or trust, so it's not like I can go and hang around someone I know all evening. Plus I'm totally crap at quizzes! There's part of me that would love to stay home that night, but then there's part of me wondering if I don't do will I EVER go to ANYTHING?! ...

 

[CuddleBunny]

Sorry you're feeling down hun I do know how you feel somewhat, I get anxious and such in social situations too...it's really bad.

Maybe since they rang and invited you, you can show up and just get the feel for it? You never know, it could go really well. And if it doesn't, you can just leave

 

[pinkneon]

Maybe, but it's the thought of going that scares me too. Plus as it's a quiz night everyone will be in teams and I've just read on Facebook that the teams are no bigger than 5 people. So if I just leave I'll end up making my team even smaller!

 

[daniellelk]

I can totally understand how you are feeling, I only have a handful of friends that I have met through OH or my mum, I will be invited somewhere but because there is loads of people there I won't go.
I'v been invited to a party next week but Im questioning going as I will only know a few people from when I was at school but everyone else will know each other

 

[kelzyboo]

Sorry your feeling like that hun, you should go, you were invited so this person has taken the time and effort to phone and invite you, obviously they want you to go, they didn't have to phone did they? Maybe the person who asked you isn't very good in these situations either and asked you so that he/she would have someone to talk to/sit with!

I'd make the effort and go, if your not feeling good there you can leave but sitting home wishing you had gone will be much worse! I'm not great at social situations either and don't have many friends (thats my choice though, i don't make the effort because i don't want to lol) but thats only recently, i used to go out regular with a few friends, i'd always feel sick before going because i didn't want to, but i'd feel better when i'd been. Don't let fear stop you doing what you want to do, most people will be happy to include you if you make a little bit of effort to talk to them xxx