am I being stupid?

[fordy]

I'm almost 21 weeks, this pregnancy hasn't exactly been the best, I've been totally exhausted and diagnosed with depression, I broke down big time and snapped my mil head off for two reasons, first reason I hired a cleaner to help me with washing as it was taking a fair bit out on me plus with all the work I had to do, mil then went behind my back and cancelled the cleaner..... secondly my Dr recommended I spoke to an counselor in regards to everything that has affected me, it was made an urgent request... the counselor rings the home phone (we live with the in laws) and mil told them I didn't need any help so cancelled it all!
Now today we have been suffering from a bad viral infection and we asked to borrow the dehumidifier, they refused to let us use it because we have windows! It's pouring down with rain and the rain getting inside so we cant open the windows!

Me and oh work our butt off for them, they own a diesel Distribution business but we are the ones doing all the work we earn merely 375 dollars (nz) a week from them for at least over 60 hours a week and now they are talking of cutting our wages because we have specialist appointments for the kids!
I'll love to find our own place but where we live there are no houses we can afford on our wages (over 5 grand a month) and there are no other jobs around here, so if we were to actually get a house for us then we would have to move towns which in this circumstances we can't.
So am I being stupid by going off or what?

 

[CarolinDallas]

You're not being stupid. I would be furious if MIL would have cancelled my maid service and, most important, my therapist. And threatening to reduce your wages because you need a specialist? Ugh! Take care of yourself and your family, and keep looking for jobs. IMHO you need to get out of there.

 

[StarAngel]

Ok I actually have to give you credit for not losing it sooner, thats completely out of order. MIL sounds very controlling and if you ask me your OH needs to step up and put her in her place. This is YOUR baby YOUR family she has no right to make calls on your behalf. Its a pity you cant move cos your own space is needed here. Can you get any supplements that can help you guys? Are they any apartments ye can rent for time being? If none of these are an optio n then I would strongly argue your case that you need extra help and for mil not to intefere and to leave ye make the decisions. If its like this now whats it gonna be like when jnr is here? Ita best to tackle it now. Good luck xx

 

[TTC 84]

I'm with the above posts you are definately not being stupid , if there's any way at all I would be getting out of there Hun , by the sounds of it your under a lot of stress that you don't need , xx

 

[Spudtastic]

Hi.
I would also be very angry with mil and I agree you do need to work on getting out of there and another job.

Practically wise are you on paye and will you be able to get you maternity pay? You have to be working for 6 months for the same employer in a long term contract (I'm in NZ aand have fot maternity pay before).
however both you and your husband are clearly being paid well below the minimum wage. Your in laws don't seem to value you at all.

Can you find another job and then move out? Good luck with it all. I know it's not easy living with the in laws at the best of times.

 

[fordy]

We are being paid for 30 hours with me doing 5 and oh doing 25 but we do more like 60 between us! We get a little amount from ird (working for families) my oh does stand up to her but he rather talk to his dad than her, she one of those set in her ways person there are literally no houses around here to rent we live in a very small town (coromandel town) I'm currently crook with a viral infection so one I'm 100% better I'm gonna sit my oh down and tell him what's what.

 

[klsltsp]

Poor you!! I would be furious!!

If it was me I would stop working the extra hours without pay. Work only the 30 hours that you are being paid for, if they want you to do more make them pay you!! I know easier said than done.. but it's what I would try and do.

Good luck!!

Kim