Am I better not knowing??

[NikiJJones]

As most of you know I lost my LO end of May (dead at 6.5 weeks/ Natural MC at 7.5 weeks) and I am still hurting so much.
However, what's been playing on my mind that last few days is this (sorry in advance for long drawn out tale, but I feel I need to share it):
In February I was convinced I was PG. Strong symptoms and just a "feeling" that I was. My AF is always 13 DPO and I went to 20 DPO. I didn't test as I was waiting till full week overdue and also was so certain anyway. I bought the tests at 20DPO, and we agreed to test the next day. Then I got AF at 5am the next morning. Was totally shocked and gutted, but at that stage just put it down to a funny late AF. It was very heavy, painful and had some clots, but I put this down to having been late. I obviously never bothered with the HPT.
When I got all the same symptoms in May, and another late AF we jumped in and tested at 14DPO and got our BFP (sadly not to last). At this stage I started to realise I may well have been PG in February, as I felt completely the same, but didn't mind one way or the other as I had my BFP.
Now having lost my May baby, and going through all the grieving, I am thinking about my experience in Feb. I'm wishing I had tested, as I wish I'd known for sure if it was an early loss or not. I'm also panicking that it looks and feels like I may have lost 2 babies this year, and am scared I may lose another. I spoke to my doc about this, and he said I was silly not to have tested, as it would be better for NHS to know if I've actually lost 2 LOs.
In some ways I'm glad I didn't know, as I would have had all the grief twice, but for medical reasons I wish I did know.
So sorry for all the boring ranting. I am getting in emotional knots about this and needed to share it. Has anyone else had similar experience? What's your opinions on my February experience? Do you think it may have been an early MC or chem preg?
xxxx

 

[Rumpskin]

Oh sweety, what a rotten time you have had recently.

I would try and not think about your late AF when you did not test. This is not doing you any good at all.

I m/c in January and my cycles have only just got to my pre pregnancy stage. We are TTC at the moment and am scared of another m/c.

Please try and be positive lovely. I know that it is very hard.

Sending you huge hugs

 

[jacky24]

Firstly im so sorry for your loss, losses.

I don't know if this will make any sense to you but i was at 6weeks told im expecting 2babies, at 10weeks i was still pregnant with 2babies, but at my 14weeks scan my one baby was so tiny and he had no heart beat, so i basically lost my one twin baby at 12weeks as he was almost gone by then. And then i lost my other twin at 37weeks and 2days.

I have read so many times at so many places and from my experience, i have waited 3 months as adviced before TTC again, as you need to get your hormones back to normal and it to be save for another baby in there.

Hope any of this information has helped but if not here is a huge hug

 

[em1]

As most of you know I lost my LO end of May (dead at 6.5 weeks/ Natural MC at 7.5 weeks) and I am still hurting so much.
However, what's been playing on my mind that last few days is this (sorry in advance for long drawn out tale, but I feel I need to share it):
In February I was convinced I was PG. Strong symptoms and just a "feeling" that I was. My AF is always 13 DPO and I went to 20 DPO. I didn't test as I was waiting till full week overdue and also was so certain anyway. I bought the tests at 20DPO, and we agreed to test the next day. Then I got AF at 5am the next morning. Was totally shocked and gutted, but at that stage just put it down to a funny late AF. It was very heavy, painful and had some clots, but I put this down to having been late. I obviously never bothered with the HPT.
When I got all the same symptoms in May, and another late AF we jumped in and tested at 14DPO and got our BFP (sadly not to last). At this stage I started to realise I may well have been PG in February, as I felt completely the same, but didn't mind one way or the other as I had my BFP.
Now having lost my May baby, and going through all the grieving, I am thinking about my experience in Feb. I'm wishing I had tested, as I wish I'd known for sure if it was an early loss or not. I'm also panicking that it looks and feels like I may have lost 2 babies this year, and am scared I may lose another. I spoke to my doc about this, and he said I was silly not to have tested, as it would be better for NHS to know if I've actually lost 2 LOs.
In some ways I'm glad I didn't know, as I would have had all the grief twice, but for medical reasons I wish I did know.
So sorry for all the boring ranting. I am getting in emotional knots about this and needed to share it. Has anyone else had similar experience? What's your opinions on my February experience? Do you think it may have been an early MC or chem preg?
xxxx

I really believe that the same thing happened to me. My AF was about 5 days late which was very unusual as it had always been on time to the day. I also had very sore boobs and was going to the loo loads but didn't think anything of it. When I did come on I was very heavy (which again was a little unusual). When I did fall pregnant (which I recently miscarried), I had exactly the same symptoms as before which has also made me wonder if I too have miscarried before.

I know exactly how you feel, it's hard for me to say don't worry because I'm worrying too. I'm currently TTC so am trying my hardest to keep relaxed.

 

[NikiJJones]

I really believe that the same thing happened to me. My AF was about 5 days late which was very unusual as it had always been on time to the day. I also had very sore boobs and was going to the loo loads but didn't think anything of it. When I did come on I was very heavy (which again was a little unusual). When I did fall pregnant (which I recently miscarried), I had exactly the same symptoms as before which has also made me wonder if I too have miscarried before.

I know exactly how you feel, it's hard for me to say don't worry because I'm worrying too. I'm currently TTC so am trying my hardest to keep relaxed.

Thanks Em. Helps to know I'm not alone. Once you get a confirmed you just almost for sure that the first time was one too. First time I didn't want to read too much into the symptoms, but once I realised they were definitely due to pregnancy, all fitted into place.
So sorry again about your losses. I do hope you get another again soon. How long ago was your MC again? Have you possibly OVed yet?
xxxx

 

[em1]

My m/c was only a couple of weeks ago and this week I have seen definate signs of O, (as i would usually after af). Everyone has said that we must do what feels right and although they recommend you have a AF before trying again, I haven't and we are currently trying because it does feel right. I find myself constantly looking at dates to see when I will be able to take a test and hope that I will experience such strong pregnancy symptoms as I did before - i'm doing my own head in thinking about it so much.

It might sound strange, but although I have always thought I would want baby, having something taken away from you so quickly after being so excited about it has made me realise even more how much I want a baby. I'll definately make me appreciate it more when it does happen again.

I read on one of your other threads that you are a primary school teacher. I can only imagine how hard going back to work must have been. I find it hard just going to a friends house who has just had a baby. My OH is a teacher and although he teaches older kids, he has found seeing pregnant partners quite hard.

I want to keep talking to people on this forum as it's been such a great help, not only that but its nice to help others that are experiencing the same things. (Sorry for the long text)

 

[Logiebear]

Hi Niki, Just to let you know the same thing happened to me. In Feb I got my on 7th then on 19th I had my af, thought nothing of it as I often have my af in pregnancy, have with the last ones any way. I then went and had my Dr's test done and it came back negative so I had had a very early m/c they called it a chemical pregnancy. Happens very often apparently but most of the time women dont know they are pg because they haven't missed a af yet. The I found out on 3rd April, 2 days before my wedding that I was pregnant again. I had got pregnant again the very next cycle! I had my Dr's test done and it was postive and everything went well til my scan then it unravelled and I had a missed m/c so I had to have an ERPC.

You are in good company hun and all I can do is give you massive and to say that it won't do you any good to dwell on wether you knew or not as it will only twist you up inside with regret that you never tested hun. I am always here if you want to chat hun, and I hope you get with stick vibes soon hun xxx

 

[NikiJJones]

My m/c was only a couple of weeks ago and this week I have seen definate signs of O, (as i would usually after af). Everyone has said that we must do what feels right and although they recommend you have a AF before trying again, I haven't and we are currently trying because it does feel right. I find myself constantly looking at dates to see when I will be able to take a test and hope that I will experience such strong pregnancy symptoms as I did before - i'm doing my own head in thinking about it so much.

It might sound strange, but although I have always thought I would want baby, having something taken away from you so quickly after being so excited about it has made me realise even more how much I want a baby. I'll definately make me appreciate it more when it does happen again.

I read on one of your other threads that you are a primary school teacher. I can only imagine how hard going back to work must have been. I find it hard just going to a friends house who has just had a baby. My OH is a teacher and although he teaches older kids, he has found seeing pregnant partners quite hard.

I want to keep talking to people on this forum as it's been such a great help, not only that but its nice to help others that are experiencing the same things. (Sorry for the long text)

If you feel right trying again straight away then it is best to go for it. We did the same. OVed last week and this week am desperately looking for the symptoms. I do think I might have the weak bladder that I had last time and breasts are a bit tingly, but maybe I am imagining these as I am so desperate for another .
Should know in about 7-8 days. Good luck to you too.
xxxx

 

[NikiJJones]

Hi Niki, Just to let you know the same thing happened to me. In Feb I got my on 7th then on 19th I had my af, thought nothing of it as I often have my af in pregnancy, have with the last ones any way. I then went and had my Dr's test done and it came back negative so I had had a very early m/c they called it a chemical pregnancy. Happens very often apparently but most of the time women dont know they are pg because they haven't missed a af yet. The I found out on 3rd April, 2 days before my wedding that I was pregnant again. I had got pregnant again the very next cycle! I had my Dr's test done and it was postive and everything went well til my scan then it unravelled and I had a missed m/c so I had to have an ERPC.

You are in good company hun and all I can do is give you massive and to say that it won't do you any good to dwell on wether you knew or not as it will only twist you up inside with regret that you never tested hun. I am always here if you want to chat hun, and I hope you get with stick vibes soon hun xxx

Thanks,
We seem to have had almost the same timings of our 2 PGs. Are you TTC straight away again? Let's hope we both get super-sticky beans VERY SOON!!!

xxxx

 

[Logiebear]

Yes we are TTC again already. I have had my af now so we are like a pair of rabbits lol. It is so difficult knowing what to do for the best xxx

 

[JASMAK]

I do believe I was PG once too. I took a PT and it was positive (faint-but color) and I even took my DH out to dinner to tell him. Two days later, my period came. I thought it must have been a false positive. If I look at it that way, it would be three m/c in a row for me...but, I don't know for sure. I read that blue dyes can have false positives. I guess, it just wouldn't change anything knowing for sure....as I am see a specialist now. For you, it would. Perhaps mention it to your DR...everything that you just said here. (hugs)

 

[NikiJJones]

I did mention it to the doc, and he told me off for not having tested, and said that they can only count a confirmed BFP as a loss.
Typical: as half the time the medical profession are telling us off for testing so early!!!
xxxx