Am I expecting too much of my 1 month old?

Discussion in 'Baby Club' started by Zana, Jan 29, 2011.

  1. Zana

    Zana Guest

    I'm a bit worried I'm doing things wrong as regards my LO sleeping and any reassurance/advice would be great.

    The main problem is, he will only sleep being held and won't go into his moses basket unless he's in a deep sleep otherwise he will cry until he's held or fed again. Trying to get things done can be a nightmare!
    Yesterday he didn't sleep from 6pm until 3am and i could see he was so tired, so I've got him sleeping in my arms atm so he doesn't get overtired later (not sure if this is a growth spurt so some sort of phase he's going thru). His routine the last couple of days have totally not happened.

    I think I've only successfully put him in his moses basket once while he was sleepy and he's drifted off to sleep on his own.

    I've tried putting something of mine (like a top) so he can 'smell me', I've tried swaddling him but he seems to get frustrated when I do this, I've tried putting him in his moses basket while he's sleepy and I sit next to the basket so he knows I'm still there - but no success with getting him to sleep without being held.

    Am I spoiling him by holding him to sleep and making a rod for my own back as he gets older? Or is this 'normal' for a baby his age and he should just grow out of it? Is there anything I should be doing to help him become more of an independent sleeper?
     
  2. special_kala

    special_kala love my bugs

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    No, no and yes, yes.

    He is so new still so yes its normal for his age. Just think only 4 weeks ago he was being rocked to sleep nice and warm in your tummy so it does take time to adjust to the big wide world..
     
  3. Kimmer

    Kimmer Mummy to a beautiful baby

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    ^^ This.

    He's so tiny, he just needs you now.
     
  4. kerrie24

    kerrie24 me,him and 3 lo's

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    I remember how hard it can be and how frustrating but its normal and doesnt last long.In time he will sleep better and will want his independence.Hes so tiny atm,just hold him and enjoy him your not spoiling him.
     
  5. daisii

    daisii Well-Known Member

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    my LO is the same, evenings he sleeps on us! But he will go in moses basket about 11pm after feed! think he is just really tired by then. I also feed him in the dark (except for light from laptop!) and then put him to bed. I leave the radio on low in his room, in the hope it cons him into thinking he is not alone!!!
     
  6. RiverSong

    RiverSong Well-Known Member

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    He will start sleeping on his own when he's used to being apart from you physically and when he matures. Hang in there and enjoy the snuggles. He can't sleep away from you because he loves his mummy so much :)

    XX
     
  7. Dragonfly

    Dragonfly Mother of 4

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    you are expecting him to be independent at 4 weeks old, thats to young. You are not spoiling your child with love and attention you cant spoil a child with love. Give all you can now, hold him when he wants he will gain independence do not force it on him .

    two good quotes.

    "It is the nature of the child to be dependent, and it is the nature of dependence to be outgrown. Begrudging dependency because it is not independence is like begrudging winter because it is not yet spring. Dependency blossoms into independence in its own time."

    ...A child who has his needs fulfilled will become an independent, secure person. But independence cannot be forced upon someone. It takes time and growing at the individual's own pace. The more secure he is in the knowledge that he can always come back to his parents, the more independent he will become. We will only create problems if we regard his needing us at night as a problem which should be "cured."

    enjoy the cuddles while they last for your baby will be independent in its own time .
     
  8. special_kala

    special_kala love my bugs

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    I love that quote :cloud9:
     
  9. Aphrodite

    Aphrodite Well-Known Member

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    My baby is exactly the same will only sleep next to me and mostly cries if he#s not being held. i was getting worried im getting into bad habits but then i remember hes not yet 3 weeks old!! When should we all start trying to teach them a routine?
     
  10. Justagirlxx

    Justagirlxx Mom to 2 and Preg Again!

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    Hey hun, my baby refused to sleep on his own until I think around 4 weeks. He wanted to be held constantly and would wake up if I wasnt sleeping next to him. I gradually started putting him in his bassinet while sleepy but awake on his tummy and only then would he sleep without me. In the beginning this is completely normal because they are so used to being in the womb and the world without mommy is quite scary. This stage will pass though and he will start being able to sleep on his own without you. It gets easier with time hun. x
     
  11. Sue Dunhym

    Sue Dunhym Mum of 1

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    Although it feels to you like he's been here forever, 4 weeks is still very new. It's very normal for him to only want to sleep on you. And a lot of babies don't like the Moses basket for some reason - ours never got used to it and we just let her sleep in the pram instead.

    It won't last forever, he will sleep elsewhere eventually, but right now he needs you. You aren't spoiling him - comfort and feeling secure is just as much of a need as food and care.
     
  12. Pixxie

    Pixxie Mum to 1 little girl

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    Lyra was like this too, we co-slept for a couple of weeks which really helped becuase when she woke in the night I was right there and most times she would just have a quick snuggle and go back to sleep. She's been sleeping in her own cot at night now for a week with no issues :) hang in there xxx
     
  13. Zana

    Zana Guest

    Oh thank you so much ladies :flower:
    You've really helped me to see that things here are totally normal and we're not doing wrong by our LO (or ourselves).
    I feel so much better now :D
     
  14. NuKe

    NuKe mummy to 2 gorgeous girls

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    i still have to rock poppy to sleep!
     
  15. Lena

    Lena Guest

    I agree with all the other ladies. All he needs is lots of cuddles and reassurance that you are there for him in this big scary world. I think at 1 month old they can only see about 1 meter in front of their face. His sleep WILL get better and he will be able to sleep on his own. My LO wouldn't be put down and I spend the first 6 weeks with him asleep on my legs or in my arms during the day and I also couldn't put him in his moses unless he was in a deep sleep.

    Enjoy this time with him when he is only teeny-tiny because before you know it, he will be trying to crawl away from you to rewire the stereo or chase after the cat, hah.
     
  16. Shazz12

    Shazz12 Active Member

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    I am going through the same thing, i thought it was just my LO

    how reassuring!
     
  17. Mrs Doddy

    Mrs Doddy 1 pink 1 blue

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    Totally normal don't worry, just go with it. Jess "grew" out of it and has been really easy to self settle I can put her down in her cot and kiss her and walk straight out and she is sleepy and I did what you did so please don't worry that you are spoiling your lo xx
     
  18. daisii

    daisii Well-Known Member

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    have to say this thread has really helped me too, thank you ladies!
     
  19. SRTBaby

    SRTBaby Well-Known Member

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    Not spoiling him at all, it is tiring but it will pass, i found LO really needing to be held all the time at 1 month, we had a snuggle nest in our bed he slept in and that helped. He now sleeps by himself and once in a while will want to be held to sleep especially when he is really tired.

    At the hospital for 3 nights, LO would only sleep on my chest, it was pretty scary since i had Csection and i was scared of squeezing him or him falling off the bed.
     

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